In a Flash
by Once Upon a Whim
Summary: The ramifications of a car accident extend far beyond the lives of those directly involved. LL, follows 'Blame Booze and Melville'
1. Chapter 1

**In a Flash**

**The ramifications of a car accident extend far beyond the lives of those directly involved. In a split second, things change drastically for Luke, Lorelai, and the future of their entire relationship.**

**L/L**

**Takes place about a month after Sookie gives birth to Martha (At least I _think_ they were serious about naming her Martha…). **

**Logistical note: Writing of this began prior to the last 3 episodes of the season, so it _does not take into account the season finale at all_. Everything else through 521 still works with the story, as long as you put the blinders on and just assume the phone call from Rory at the end of 521 is just to say that she's missing dinner, and that she sucks it up and continues with her interning and newspaper career path. So no jail time for yachting escapades or quitting Yale. She's home for the summer, as was the plan. Other events from 521 and before (pregnancy scare, Twickham house – let's figure Luke bought it, etc.) are as they were on the show.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Gilmore Girls, except for the 3 dvd sets. Everything else is the WB's and the Palladinos'.**

**Feedback is always much appreciated :)**

"Sookie, hand over the baby," Lorelai demanded, waving her hand in Martha's direction. "Now. You're going to be late."

Sookie took a half step forward and balked, cuddling little Martha even closer to her than before. It wasn't that she didn't trust Lorelai, but… "I don't know…"

Lorelai clenched her fists in frustration. This had already been going on for over five full minutes, and she was nearing the point when she'd simply have to take Sookie out and just hope she could catch the kid before she hit the floor. "Sookie!" she screeched, "Jackson's already in the car waiting!"

"But she's so little…" Sookie trailed off, showing only the slightest signs of weakening…

"And Luke and I are any less qualified to take care of her little-ness than whatever Ashlee-Simpson-listening mallrat teeny-bopper of a babysitter you were going to have?" was the incredulous response she got from Lorelai. Obviously Lorelai was stretching it a little by tossing Luke's name into the mix; he didn't deal with children, especially those toddler age and younger, unless it was to begrudgingly shove a high chair in their direction at the diner. He was essentially there to entertain Lorelai during the post-baby-bedtime hours, but Sookie didn't have to be reminded of that at the moment…

Regardless, very little headway was being made with Sookie and the handing over of Martha anyway. "No, well…" She stuttered in protest, but trailed off, the thought crossing her mind that maybe, maybe, Lorelai did have a point… But it didn't matter! "I don't like baby sitters either," Sookie finished proudly, nose as high in the air as her vertically-challenged stature would allow, "I was glad when she cancelled!"

Crossing her arms firmly across her chest, Lorelai glared at her friend and added a foot tap for some extra emphasis, "You're going."

"It's too soon," Sookie wailed, her resistance finally beginning to crumble.

"Sookie, see that other kid over there?" Lorelai pointed and nodded, wide-eyed and patronizing, "That's Davy, your _son_, who is still thriving, despite you leaving him alone with other people multiple times in the past _year and a half._" Sure Lorelai could understand Sookie's feelings to some degree – she herself had insisted that she sleep on a cot in the gaudy nursery her parents had arranged for Rory, and she did, for a full four months. But seriously, she was a paranoid kid herself back then! And this was Sookie's second child, she reminded herself inwardly.

Sookie was silent for a moment. And then a weak, "But…"

"She'll be fine," Lorelai assured with a wide smile. "He'll be fine. We'll all be fine," she confirmed, clasping her hands together in over-dramatized glee. "Right Luke?"

Luke, already incredible uncomfortable with the whole situation, just held his hands up and tried to back away as he skeptically eyed the little pink and yellow bundle in Sookie's arms, "I am not a part of this…"

"See?" Sookie jumped on Luke's actions and sneered pointedly at Lorelai, "Luke doesn't want to babysit, I should just stay…"

Lorelai barely missed a beat as she succeeded in simultaneously cutting off Sookie's protest and sending a swift elbow in the direction of Luke's ribcage, "Luke is _dying_ to watch the kids with me." She turned, giving the grimacing Luke an overly sweet smile, "Aren't you Luke?" Not waiting for whatever annoyed response Luke was sure to grumble under his breath, she whirled back around to point accusingly at Sookie, "And you, missy," she declared, "Are making your poor husband wait out there, suffering in this disgusting humidity."

Sookie pouted, flustered, Lorelai finally having hit the guilt trip nerve when she threw Jackson into the mix again. But she wasn't giving up without attacking from all angles, "But you guys were supposed to do your own going out thing tonight, Jackson and I can just…"

Quick again with the cutting in was Lorelai, rightfully pointing out to Sookie that her argument wasn't really holding water, "Sookie, you going out for your first night of freedom in a month is way more important that whatever we were going to do tonight…" Lorelai trailed off, not even knowing what it was that she and Luke had been planning before the chance to re-create 'Adventures in Babysitting.' Lips pursed in confusion, she momentarily put her spat with Sookie on the back burner, turning to Luke quizzically, "What _were_ we going to do tonight anyway?

"Not this…" Luke muttered, failing miserably at his attempt to mask his lack of enthusiasm over the change in plans.

"See?" Sookie piped up in the background, trying once again to play up the fact that Luke didn't want to be there.

Lorelai continued to ignore everyone else, and just spun back around with a shriek. "Sookie you can drink again! Go for it. Now go! Give me the kid," she demanded as she inched closer to Sookie with a wicked grin on her face, "She'll end up even more damaged if I have to pry her from your evil clutches than if you'd just give her to me."

The knowledge that she was probably fighting a losing battle coupled with visions of martinis dancing in her head was enough to finally get Sookie to relent, however begrudgingly, "I guess…"

The words were barely out of Sookie's mouth before Lorelai snatched the tiny infant away, smiling giddily and swinging and bouncing her ever so slightly as she cooed, "There ya go! Hey there baby Martha!" Settling Martha against her chest, she tickled under her chin, continuing in the voice she reserved only for children under two, "Hello little sweetheart, can I call ya Martie? Huh? Yeah, you love your new nickname from your Auntie Lorelai, yes you do!"

For all the antics involved, they elicited the expected non-response from the one-month old. Sookie, however, was already experiencing typical parental withdrawal symptoms. Her hands were balled up nervously as she shuffled apprehensively around Lorelai, "Don't… Make sure you hold…," she fussed nonsensically.

Her voice back in its normal register, and only moderately patronizing, Lorelai looked up and questioned, "Sookie?"

Wide-eyed, Sookie replied, hoping that the mere act of holding the baby would somehow change Lorelai's mind, "Yeah?"

"How old is Rory?" Lorelai asked, head tilted pensively.

"20?" Sookie answered, her response laced with confusion. She had no idea where Lorelai was going with this… In her flighty mind, Rory was a complete non sequitur.

"Yes," Lorelai congratulated zealously, "And a _half_." She grinned widely as Sookie began to realize exactly how much fun was being had at her expense. "And do _you_ think she'd have made it _all_ the way to _20_ if I was _that_ incompetent around kids?" Lorelai continued slowly, as if she was speaking with Davy rather than his thirty-something mother.

A sigh and a roll of the eyes followed. "Sorry," muttered Sookie.

Lorelai laughed, bouncing Martie a few more times, "Silly Sookie. Martie, your mommy's silly, isn't she?" she cried. "Yes, yes she is!"

Even Luke had to crack a shadow of a grin at that, despite himself. Was he completely comfortable with the thought of being thrown into the mix as a babysitter for a toddler and a newborn at the last minute? _Hell, no_. But seeing Lorelai dance around so happily with the kid probably boded well for him - _if_ he was hoping to see her do the same with their own kid in a couple years or so… Though that was something else to deal with completely. Technically he now owned a family home, but he was the only one who knew that, and **_the_** conversation had yet to be had. He was also slightly more creeped out by Martha and Davy than he would have liked himself to be… It'd be different with his own kid though, right? _Right…_

He shook those thoughts out of his head momentarily as he heard Sookie begin to rattle off seemingly important information. Information that Lorelai would surely forget, but, of course, expect _him_ to know…

"Ok, um, so, you know my cell number. And Jackson's. And the pediatrician's number is on the fridge. So is Jackson's sister's," Sookie continued nervously, terrified that she'd forget something vital, "And his parents', and poison control, and 911." She paused, re-thinking her last words sheepishly, and giggled, "Well, I guess you know that one."

Lorelai smirked, "Wait, no, what?" She batted her eyes innocently, "Nine… Nine, one… What? I'm not sure…"

A look of sheer panic flashed across Sookie's face in the split-second before Luke jumped in for damage control. "Sookie, she's kidding." Glaring at Lorelai, he sent a stern "She's kidding." in her direction as well.

Cowering under Luke's watchful eye, Lorelai nodded contritely, "911, yeah, I think I've got that one, Sook."

Sookie nodded, only somewhat comforted. But not sure what else she could do at that point, she continued stammering all sorts of directions to Luke and Lorelai, "So they both had dinner, and Davy can have a little apple juice before bed, which is soon… And she'll wake up for another bottle around 11, the formula's in the fridge, and the bottles…"

"Sookie," Lorelai insisted, "I've got it covered. Go." Clutching Martha tightly to her with one arm, Lorelai deftly used the other to steer Sookie towards the door.

Acquiescing, Sookie finally began inching her way out of the house. She glanced one last time at Davy, who was too preoccupied with a Duplo block set across the living room to even notice that his mother was leaving. Halfheartedly, she added a few more instructions before stepping out onto the front porch, "We'll be back by 12 at the latest…"

"Sookie," Lorelai interjected, "Go have a nice dinner. And enjoy the play."

Lorelai was literally closing the door on Sookie as she continued to fret, "I should…"

Eyes wide with unspoken threats that, if spoken, would have probably involved something along the lines of taking away lunch at the Dragonfly again, Lorelai glared at Sookie. "Just go," she ordered flatly.

Sookie didn't even have a chance to protest again before the door shut in her face. Though she must have gotten the message, because the doorbell ring Luke was half expecting never came.

"Holy separation anxiety," Lorelai exclaimed in exasperation as she slouched against the back of the door, "What a production that was…" Gazing down at the baby in her arms, she grinned, "Better hope you didn't get that gene kiddo."

And as if on cue, Davy chose that moment to lose interest in his gigantic Legos and zero in on the fact that, all of the sudden, Mommy wasn't there anymore. Luke was forced to deftly sidestep as the little boy toddled inadvertently towards him. From there, Davy took off down the hallway, his babblings of "Mama? Mamamamamamama…" growing more and more frantic as he wandered the house in search of Sookie.

Lorelai was already preoccupied with Martha, and failed to notice immediately when Davy disappeared. Luke didn't know a whole lot about kids, but he figured a year-and-a-half wasn't exactly old enough for a kid to be independent around the house, and spoke up awkwardly, gesturing down the hallway in the direction Davy had run off to, "Uh, apparently someone got it…"

"Hmm?" Confused for a second by Luke's words, it took Lorelai a moment to register the fact that Davy, apparent recipient of the St. James separation anxiety gene, was no longer in the room. She was just scanning the room for him when she caught strains of his little voice from somewhere at the other end of the house. Hefting Martha a little further up in her arms as she moved to take a seat in the living room, she gestured over her shoulder to Luke nonchalantly, "Hey, grab him?"

Luke's next expression was one of mild disbelief, "And do what? I'm not the one he's looking for," he pointed out logically. Or what was logical to him, anyway.

Across the room, Lorelai rolled her eyes, getting the feeling she was in for a long night with the two kids _and_ Luke on her hands. "Fine," she replied, eyeing Luke pointedly, "Take her?" She motioned with her chin to the sleepy infant on her chest.

That gesture, in turn, elicited a skeptical snort from Luke.

Lorelai just raised an eyebrow knowingly in his direction as she called down the hallway, "Davy? Davy, honey, where'd you go kid?"

Realizing that Lorelai just might be serious, Luke's arms went slack at his sides in disbelief, "You're kidding…" The baby? He might… _break_ her or something…

"Luke, pick one…" Lorelai ordered, her tone growing more urgent the longer Davy was out of sight.

Luke was baffled. But, he reluctantly admitted to himself, the baby looked a lot easier to deal with than the other one, what with all the walking and talking that he could already do. Giving in, he moved infinitesimally closer to Lorelai, a slightly quizzical expression on his face as he peered at Martha. "How?"

Lorelai broke into a smile of mild amusement. _This would be interesting…_ Thinking quickly, she kicked at Luke's shins to get him moving in the direction of the couch, "Ok, sit." As Luke obeyed and got situated nervously, she called out again, if only to make herself feel better, "Davy, sweetie, come back here!"

Turning her attention back to Luke, she barked out orders quickly, "You. Sit. Arms out." Once she deemed Luke to be in an acceptable posture, she carefully leaned over and gingerly placed the tiny infant in Luke's arms. The fact that he didn't drop Martha right away was good enough for Lorelai. She called out her last few directions over her shoulder, as she'd already set off in search of Davy, "Just keep her head at your elbow and hold tight enough so she can't get too squirmy."

"I don't…" The feel of another little person in his arms was _not_ making Luke feel particularly confident or comfortable, a sentiment very clearly echoed in his weak protest.

Lorelai sensed this, and paused at the end of the hallway, looking back at Luke with pleading eyes, "Luke. Two seconds, ok? All you have to do is not drop her. I'll be right back." And that was that, she was off after Davy again, "Davy!"

"Uh…" And the panic set in. "Uh, Lorelai?" Luke tensed as he watched Lorelai disappear down the hallway, and Martha picked up on the sensation. Her complexion quickly reddened, and coupled with some increased wriggling and a scrunched up face, it was indication enough that she was not a happy camper, even to an amateur like Luke.

"Lorelai?" The first few whimpers starting to escape from Martha's little mouth had Luke in a tizzy. He had no idea what to do… "Hey kid, what's the deal here?" he begged, "What do I do?" What had Lorelai done that he wasn't doing? _Think Danes… _Position was different, yeah? _Yeah._ Not lying down, she had her up against her chest. _Ok, I can do that…_ Wait, how do you do that without breaking the neck or something?

The baby quickly growing louder and unhappier, Luke improvised, doing the best he could. A little contortion of his own spine and some careful head cushioning allowed him to complete the maneuver with minimal trauma to either party involved. Once she was settled, curled up against Luke's chest, Martha quieted almost immediately.

"Ok, ok…" Luke breathed a sigh of relief. And pride, for that matter… Until the thought crossed his mind that maybe he _had_ broken her, and that was the cause of the lack of crying. Frantically, he repositioned his hand on Martha's back, and was relieved to feel the tiny, rhythmic movement of her respirations. Another sigh of relief whooshed from his own lungs. "Still breathing, good sign, no more crying…" he muttered as he gently rubbed her back, "I can deal with this…"

And suddenly, as promised, Lorelai was back in the vicinity. Luke could hear her down the hallway, making a variety of highway sound effects, much to the apparent delight of Davy. His high-pitched squeals echoed through the room as he ran in, followed by Lorelai crawling in on her knees and pushing some sort of toy dump truck. "Vroom, vroom!" she cried, before sending the toy skittering across the wooden floor, "Go get it kid!"

As Davy trailed after the truck, Lorelai dragged herself up off the floor, only raising her gaze to check on Luke after she'd brushed the dust off the knees of her new jeans.

The unexpected sight of Martha cuddled up against Luke nearly left her speechless, a rare feat for her. She sucked in a quick breath, but recovered well, continuing with a run-of-the-mill Lorelai quip, in her run-of-the-mill cutesy, teasing Lorelai-voice, "Well, aren't you two the most adorable thing I've ever seen?"

"Yeah well," Luke stuttered, shrugging modestly as best he could with the baby in his arms. "She was all movin' around and stuff, and not looking so happy, so I…" He trailed off, almost embarrassed at having been caught actually doing something right with the kid, and without prompting. Fighting off the blush creeping up on his cheeks, he quickly freed one hand and grabbed the remote control and flipped on a random television show.

It may have served as enough of a distraction for Luke, but Lorelai barely noticed the TV. She was still focused on the sight before her…

Sure Lorelai had felt a couple motherly pangs back when Sookie had been dealing with baby preparations when she'd been pregnant with Martha, though they were significantly overshadowed by the blind panic brought on when she'd found herself in the position of having her own little pregnancy issue. Really, the impromptu little dance she'd done in the bathroom the next time she'd found she needed a tampon, confirming, beyond orange soda and snack cakes, the lack of any Gilmore/Danes offspring? Genuine happiness right there, no sign of the pangs whatsoever.

And taking the advice she'd given to Rory, she'd taken matters into her own hands and finally gotten that birth control pill prescription that she should have gotten so long ago, potential pesky weight gain side-effects be damned. She'd be even fatter if she got pregnant, so the rationale was there… _At the time…_

But seeing Luke with Martie cuddled up on his chest like that… Lorelai found out rather quickly that maternal instinct really could pack a punch out of nowhere. And that it was one hell of a right hook…

She was still lost in her thoughts, leaning against the kitchen doorway, gaze stuck on the oblivious, but picture perfect, Luke and Martha, when Davy sent another toy car sailing towards her feet. This was followed shortly by Davy himself barreling full-speed at her shins for a hug, effectively jarring Lorelai from her short-lived pensive mode.

Of course, that didn't stop her from periodically stealing glances at Luke and Martha throughout the remainder of her toy car games with Davy.

It was a few hours later when Lorelai was seated in the kitchen, just finishing up with giving Martie her last bottle of the night. Davy was long since in bed, though Luke was up past his bedtime, still flipping, bleary-eyed, through random television channels in the living room.

"All done, sweetie pie," Lorelai whispered to Martha as she hoisted her up to her shoulder for the requisite burping. Moving back out into the living room, she smirked and called out to the groggy Luke, "Hey Luke, you want to do the last diapering honors of the night?"

It only took Luke one eyebrow raised in disgust to get his message across.

Lorelai frowned in mock disappointment and stuck her tongue out at him in return. "Well isn't Uncle Luke just a big old party pooper?" she asked Martie, bouncing her playfully as she did.

It only took Lorelai a few moments to make it up the stairs to the nursery and complete the diaper change – at only a month old, Martha hadn't yet learned how to put up the screaming, wriggling fights during diaper changes that her big brother had so expertly demonstrated earlier. Twice… Lorelai cringed at the new memories she was less than fond of.

With Martha buttoned back up in her little footie pajamas, Lorelai gently placed her in the crib, smoothed down the few wisps of hair she already had, and flipped off the teddy bear lamp in the corner. Grabbing the baby monitor extension for the room, she gave one last wistful gaze across the dimly-lit room at the already-sleeping baby before heading back downstairs to Luke.

"Hey you," she smiled at Luke over on the couch, who was already taking cues from Martha and starting to nod off himself. She flopped down next to him, taking care to expertly nestle herself up against him, curled up under his outstretched arm.

The motion was enough to rouse him from his semi-comatose state, "Hey."

"Hey again," Lorelai murmured with a grin, and leaned into Luke for a long, languid kiss, full of teasing tongues and lazy love.

Once they finally parted, Lorelai gave Luke a proud pat on the chest, "You survived." She hadn't meant it as much of anything, just a silly observation she felt the need to point out.

But it rang a little truer in Luke's ears as he gave a simple "Yeah," of agreement. Sure, he'd _survived_, but sitting there with a sleeping baby on your lap wasn't much to have to survive. He hadn't done anything else, no feeding, no diapers, nothing at all with what's-his-name, the bigger kid… And, disappointingly enough to him, he'd been fine with that.

Not that he told Lorelai, but once he got suckered into the whole babysitting fiasco, he figured it'd at least be good to gauge how things would be for him with kids, like a little trial run… End result? Still far more creeped out than he would have liked himself to be. He couldn't help it. He'd wanted kids, or at least he'd thought he did… But you couldn't force something like that… Right?

In his mind, it was the familial equivalent of all those crazy fancy foods that people like Lorelai's parents probably always had. Caviar and stuff. Luke involuntarily cringed inwardly at the thought of the slimy fish eggs. But it was the same, right? It looked pretty, it's what all the 'acceptable' people had, so you wanted to like it. But in the end it was just disgusting, and you can't make yourself like things like that… Maybe he'd have to rethink the whole kids thing…

Lorelai took Luke's silence as an opportunity to review the night in her mind – she just couldn't get the picture of Luke with Martha out of her head. Not that she wanted that per se… She managed to convince herself that it had only struck her so hard because she'd never really seen him with any kids, never mind a newborn. Which got her thinking… "Hey Luke?"

"Hmm?" By that time, Luke had forced himself to exile all unsettling thoughts of babies and families from his mind, focusing instead on SportsCenter on TV. Baseball scores were a lot less trying on the tired mind.

Lorelai, however, as she always had, ignored all things sports, and asked curiously, "When's the last time you were even around little kids like this? Ever?"

"Oh God, I don't even…" Luke let out a pensive sigh as he scratched his neck aimlessly, trying to figure out when he was last around kids for an extended period of time. "Probably when Jess was little?"

"Wow," Lorelai breathed, a little stunned. No wonder the poor guy had been uncomfortable. Once she thought about it, it made complete sense that he hadn't dealt with small children in nearly two decades. Apparently the poof of smoke and spinning baseball cap wasn't so far off… "This wasn't so bad, was it?" she asked, sounding almost guilty for having thrown all of this at him because of her spur-of-the-moment decision to sub for Sookie's AWOL sitter.

Luke shrugged, answering honestly, "No." It hadn't been _bad_… Just _enlightening_…

Snuggled down against Luke's chest where he couldn't see her face, Lorelai surprised herself with a smile of – relief? – as she replied contently, "Good."

The next thing Luke knew, he was being jarred awake by the harsh ringing of the telephone and the chill he felt on his side that marked where Lorelai had been until a few seconds before. As he watched Lorelai make a sleepy stumble for the phone in the kitchen, he blinked at the clock on the VCR in front of him, squinting at the tiny green numbers. 2:47? Really? Weren't Sookie and Jackson supposed to be home by midnight, he wondered?

Things not making complete sense in his slumber-slowed mind, he gave up on telling time, instead focusing on Lorelai.

Across the room, she blinked hard a few times, stifling a yawn as she picked up the phone, "Hmm? Hello?"

As an expression of utter bewilderment washed over Lorelai's face, Luke eyed her curiously.

Lorelai held up a finger, silently telling Luke to wait, as she spoke again, "Yes, this is Sookie and Jackson's place…"

Luke grew more concerned as the level of confusion in Lorelai's voice escalated as she replied to whatever question had come next, "I'm a friend of the family, and the babysitter… What's going on?"

Whatever was said next was bad, that much Luke could tell from the immediate change in Lorelai's features. Gone was the natural rosy glow of her cheeks, replaced instantaneously by a sickly white pallor as the blood drained away. Her eyes, instead, grew red, shining with tears, and her free hand quickly rose to her gaping mouth in disbelief.

Very few things in the world elicited such a sudden reaction from his persistently happy-go-lucky, if not overly quirky, girlfriend. The sudden unknown had even Luke panicky within an instant, and he rushed to Lorelai's side. Whispering urgently in her ear as unobtrusively as he could, he fished for some sort of explanation, "What's going on?"

Despite the few tears that had escaped and were running down her cheeks, Lorelai had managed to compose herself enough to shoo Luke away temporarily. He obliged, remaining in the living room as she rushed into the kitchen, though more out of concern over the million horrible possibilities running through his mind than his heeding Lorelai's orders.

Over the chaos in his mind, he could just make out the sound of Lorelai rifling through papers on the refrigerator with abandon, magnets clattering to the floor. "Uh, yeah, I have Jackson's sister and parents or something…" she managed, sniffling into the phone.

Luke heard that, and the true implications of what this phone call could mean began setting in. Sookie and Jackson… The next thing his heard was Lorelai finally getting to ask her own question rather than answer, "Is it just family, or can I…" She trailed off, choking up. With a sniffle and a swipe at her damp cheeks, she finished the conversation efficiently, "I'll be right there. Thank you…"

Luke heard the quiet beep of the cordless handset being shut off, and… nothing.

He gave her a moment before cautiously approaching the kitchen. "Lorelai?"

She was still frozen in place clutching the phone as he rounded the corner into the room. Another split second of stilted silence. Then, lifting her tearful gaze to meet his questioning one, she gave him all the answer he needed, "They were in an accident."

"Oh my…" The breath flew from Luke's lungs as he took in the news. He gravitated toward Lorelai unconsciously.

Once he reached her, she collapsed against him, sobbing. "It was bad, Luke. They didn't say that, but they wouldn't say anything, so I know it was bad…"

"Ssshhh," Luke attempted in vain to calm her, enveloping her in his arms and stroking her hair, "You don't know that…"

"An accident!" she wailed, "That's all they'll tell me…"

Pulling back from her, Luke mustered up his own composure as best he could, trying to paint things as positively as he could. He gripped her shoulders, looking directly into her eyes as he spoke calmly, "Look, Liz and TJ were in that accident. All they had was a couple broken limbs and a few missed days at the Renaissance Fair."

Lorelai sniffled and nodded, attempting a feeble interjection, "But…"

"No," Luke continued firmly, "I know you watch that ER show for the Clooney guy. And the dorky looking other one that they just can't seem to get rid of…"

Amidst everything else, Lorelai hiccupped a strangled laugh at Luke's attempt to follow pop culture, "Carter, Luke. But he _is_ gone now."

Luke shook his head slightly as he continued, a gentle reminder to Lorelai that now was not the time to correct him on his misguided television references, "From that show, if for no other reason, you should know that hospitals are big insane bureaucratic under-staffed messes and they probably don't even know who they're talking about, so they probably couldn't tell you what happened even if they tried." Sure Luke knew there was truth in his words, but they were of no comfort to him. In his gut, he knew that it could be bad…

In any case, somewhere mid-rant, Luke had lost Lorelai, her eyes now focused somewhere in the maze of plaid on his shirt. "I have to go," she murmured quietly, "I have to go there."

"You can't go like this," Luke protested immediately. The last thing he could ever deal with would be her getting into her own accident as she raced to the hospital in a fit of emotions.

Her eyes pleaded with his as her voice echoed the sentiment, "I _have_ to go."

Luke knew there'd be no more arguing on the subject. "I'll drive," he stated, giving in to the inevitable. He'd made the drive with her for her father, and though he was more emotionally entangled with the parties involved this time – Sookie and Jackson could be one hell of an annoying pair, but they were good people, his _friends _– he could do it again.

"Fine." Lorelai agreed readily, already tearing around the house in a frenzy of preparation. Devastation over the possible implications of the phone call had quickly given way to urgency as she attempted to get to Sookie and Jackson in record time. Grabbing phone numbers, digging under the couch for her shoes and purse… Luke was just standing awkwardly still, watching the spectacle, wondering what he could do to help and not feel so useless when he heard her muffled voice from somewhere in the living room. "Oh, fuck…"

"What, what?" Luke hurried over to her, almost afraid to find out what else had suddenly gone wrong.

From her current spot, cross-legged on the floor next to the couch, Lorelai waved her arms as she stated the obvious, "Kids?"

"Yeah?" Luke wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"They can't stay here alone!" she wailed in defeat.

That earned a bizarre stare from Luke. _Of course they couldn't stay alone…_ "We'll bring them…" he informed Lorelai carefully.

And that was enough to calm Lorelai again, "Right, right, bring kids…" Momentarily. She'd gotten as far as shoving her feet into her boots before hitting the next roadblock in her mental plan, "We don't have car seats!"

"Right…" Luke had no answer for that problem.

"I…" And neither did Lorelai. She stayed on the floor another few seconds before leaping to her feet, suddenly frantic again. "I gotta go. Just stay here with them," she told Luke distractedly, as she sought out her car keys at the bottom of her messy purse.

Luke's eyes went wide in fear, "I can't watch kids alone!" he exclaimed.

"Luke, what do you want me to do?" Lorelai cried, "I have to get there…" She trailed off, biting her lower lip, trying to fend off a fresh wave of tears as she realized how much time they were wasting…

"We'll call Rory," Luke spat out, trying valiantly to keep Lorelai from breaking down again. He didn't particularly want to dwell on anything heavier than logistics either… "Or Patty," he added, "Or both. Or Babette…"

Sniffling, Lorelai nodded slowly in agreement, grateful for Luke and his logic, "Right, yeah, ok. Rory. Right. Uh, I'll call Rory…" She began heading back to the kitchen for the phone. Halfway there, she paused to yank her cell phone from the purse she was still clutching. "Here, you call anyone else…" she directed, shoving the phone at Luke.

A few minutes were all that was necessary for the pair to stumble over explanations for their calls.

As Lorelai returned to the living room, Luke reached out to hand back her cell phone. She took it silently, barely looking at him.

And there they stood, the pair of them, silent, until Luke blurted out "Patty's coming right now." in a half-hearted effort to distract Lorelai, and keep both of their minds from wandering back to the unsettling possibilities that lay ahead for them once they reached the hospital.

"Good, uh, so's Rory…" Lorelai stammered back awkwardly. But she could find nothing else to say…

Suddenly finding themselves with nothing to do but wait for the first time since the phone call, Luke and Lorelai were helpless to stop the emotions from taking over.

Even Luke, palm over his face in disbelief at the whole scenario, could almost feel the beginnings of tears springing up in his eyes when Lorelai finally threw herself at him. Her body suddenly wracked by full blown sobbing, she buried her face in his flannel shirt as she whimpered, "Luke this can't happen to them…"

That did it for Luke. While he normally prided himself on his steadfast stoic nature in all situations, he just couldn't do it anymore. A tear escaped, running down his stubbly cheek. "I know, I know…" he murmured into Lorelai's hair as he held her tightly to him. His fears about the accident's outcome, however unwarranted, were the same as hers. There were no more words of comfort he could offer – he wouldn't have believed them himself. So he remained silent, rocking Lorelai ever so slightly, rubbing her back as she continued to sob against him.

To them, it may have been two minutes later or twenty when they finally broke apart at the sound of a timid knock on the front door.

Not even waiting for a response, Rory pushed the door open and slipped in, still clad in her My Little Pony pajama pants. She carefully closed the door behind her and turned to face Luke and Lorelai. Not having quite gotten all of the details on the phone, her face was pale and eyes wide with concern, "Mom? Luke?"

"Ror…" Lorelai pulled away from Luke, effectively just exchanging him for Rory as she pulled her daughter into a tight embrace.

Not really expecting her mother to be able to handle a coherent sentence, Rory directed her question over Lorelai's shoulder in Luke's general direction, "What happened?"

But it was Lorelai who spoke, surprising Rory. "I don't know, they won't tell us anything…" she managed, stepping back from her daughter in an effort to regain her composure. "We're going there now. I don't…" She trailed off, her face contorting a bit as she valiantly fought a losing battle with the tears.

Stunned, Rory knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that this accident was no little case of whiplash. Lorelai was somewhat prone to the overemotional, but another glance at Luke's face was confirmation enough. "Go Mom," she implored, steering her to the door, "Go."

Lorelai submitted to Rory's instructions, allowing herself to be guided to the porch, Luke following close behind the Gilmore pair. Before Lorelai headed down the front steps, she turned to Rory again, wiping her eyes and smearing the last of her mascara across her damp cheek. "Uh, Patty's coming to help… I'll call as soon as we know something," she declared with a wan, forced smile.

Rory gave a nod of acknowledgment, and then, without even realizing the heavy connotations her words held, offered a parting, "Drive safe…" She froze upon hearing herself, and the façade of strength she'd been fighting to keep up quickly crumbled. Her own eyes grew teary, and she dashed down the steps towards Lorelai for a parting embrace. "I love you," was the muffled sentiment uttered into Lorelai's shoulder, "They'll be ok."

Rory pulled away reluctantly, and bit her lip in contemplation for half a second. Suddenly, acting on the emotion of the current circumstances, she then flung herself at Luke, hugging him tightly as well.

Luke barely had the chance to register any degree of awkwardness before Rory stepped back again, her eyes downcast and cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment. She gestured with her arms apologetically, once again urging a hasty departure, "Sorry, go…"

With a slight wave and a barely audible "Bye," Luke flew into take-charge-mode, guiding the subdued Lorelai to the passenger side of his truck.

And with that, Luke and Lorelai left Rory alone on the front lawn, the two children blissfully unaware in the house, and took off into the night, neither knowing what lay ahead for them at the hospital.

**To be continued…**


	2. Chapter 2

**In a Flash**

**See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.**

**Wow… I'm absolutely floored by the response this story has gotten so far (especially from some who are amazingly stellar writers in their own right). Huge, huge thanks to everyone who has taken the time to let me know what they think of my writing :)**

**I'm also thrilled that people see my Luke/Lorelai/etc. as so true to the actual characters. We saw shades of how scenes like this might go in "Forgiveness and Stuff," "Teach Me Tonight," and somewhat in "The Incredible Sinking Lorelais" and "Say Something," but nothing quite like where I'm headed, so for the most part, this is just me going out on a limb, in hopes that they all still seem like themselves.**

**And I find it a million times more difficult to write Luke than any other character anyway (My lack of Y chromosomes, probably… Really though, who can read that man?), so this is really challenging. But I'm up for it, and I'm glad people seem to approve so far. (By the way, I don't know what the deal was this season with Jackson's last name, but I'm sticking with 'M.')**

**So thanks again! Feedback/suggestions are always much appreciated :)**

For all the frantic panicking and the unrestrained onslaught of emotions there had been back at the Melville house, Luke and Lorelai's trip to the hospital was surprisingly calm.

It wasn't quite as rushed as it could have been; Luke was taking no chances on the rain-dampened roads, all too aware of what could, and _did_, happen, though he tried to push thoughts of anything else happening to the far recesses of his mind. He also made sure to take a slight detour in heading towards Hartford. The last thing they needed to do was take the same route Sookie and Jackson had, and end up face-to-face with whatever ugly aftermath surely still littered the pavement at the site, wherever it was.

Lorelai, for her part, hovered somewhere between scared stiff and sedated as she sat motionless in the passenger seat. Her face a ghostly white against what remained of her shiny, berry-hued lipstick, she didn't question Luke's choice to take back roads, nor did she urge him to speed up as she had done so long ago when her father had been in the hospital. As much as she needed to know what had happened to Sookie and Jackson, there was some comfort in not knowing – there was still hope…

About halfway through the ride, Lorelai let out a little cough and sniffle as she attempted to clear her breathing passages of the after-effects of all the crying. Luke jumped, spooked at the sudden sound, which in turn surprised Lorelai. Turning to face him, the only emotion she could muster was a despondent shrug of a smile before redirecting her blank stare to the empty darkness of Connecticut at night.

In response, Luke reached across the chasm of green vinyl bench seat between them and grasped her left hand. He told himself it was to comfort her; in actuality, it was probably as much for himself as it was for Lorelai. Was he particularly close to Sookie and Jackson? No. Was he particularly close to anyone in town but Lorelai? No. If anything, he was 'friends' with people vicariously because of her… But still… Sookie and Jackson were as close as he got, and things were hitting a little to close to home…

He didn't let go of Lorelai's hand until he pulled into a space in the visitor's parking lot of St. Francis Hospital.

As soon as the engine was shut off, gone were the subdued shells of Luke and Lorelai that had prevailed over the course of the ride. Lorelai threw her door open in a frenzy of activity. As it happened, she did so a little too forcefully, and the door ended up rebounding back at her as she tried to jump from the truck.

She let out a weak groan on impact as she stumbled backwards against the doorway.

"What?" Luke demanded urgently as he dashed around from his side of the truck, wondering what else could possibly be going wrong… As he'd been getting out himself, he hadn't caught the little incident, just the painful moan that had slipped from Lorelai's mouth.

Hissing at the pain as she clasped the site on her side where the heavy door had made contact, Lorelai shooed Luke away, assuring him she was fine. "Just grab my purse, ok?" As her gaze darted towards the emergency room, her eyes said what she herself couldn't… _They needed to get inside…_

Luke obliged quickly, reaching into the cab of the truck to snatch up Lorelai's handbag from the seat. Locking the doors, he pocketed the keys and took Lorelai's hand. Pink leather purse in Luke's free hand, Lorelai rubbing her new bruise with hers, they took off in a hurried jog towards the entrance.

Once inside, the pair dodged a few wheelchairs, gurneys, and bored interns in lab coats before reaching what appeared to be some sort of reception desk.

Lorelai wasted no time, rushing to the counter and blurting breathlessly, "Sookie and Jackson Melville?"

Unfortunately, it was what appeared to be yet another bored intern staffing the desk, one all too accustomed to the routine mayhem and tragedy of the ER. A frantic request like Lorelai's was barely worth the "Hmm?" that he muttered in her direction, barely looking up.

"Uh," Lorelai stammered, at once both taken aback by the intern's nonchalance and overwhelmed by the sight of something – _someone_ – bloody and screaming being wheeled in from the ambulance bay. She gripped Luke's hand tighter, re-focusing on the young doctor and beginning again, "I was told they were in a car accident and brought here."

"And you are?" The intern questioned indifferently.

Lorelai bit her lip before speaking again, trying to tune out the increasingly unnerving sounds of crying children, sirens, wails of pain… "Lorelai Gilmore, a friend. I was at their house babysitting their kids when…" She didn't get any farther in her explanation.

The intern cut her off abruptly, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but I can't really give information out unless it's to family."

Stunned, Lorelai couldn't even manage a protest, "But…"

"I'm sorry," was the reply she got, though it sounded anything but.

Up to that point, Luke had hung back from Lorelai, preferring to let her do the talking, as he did in most situations anyway. He'd always been less than comfortable in hospitals – he didn't have the best record in them, with his parents and all… Throw in the high school sports injuries, and no, Luke definitely was not a fan of hospitals. The nerves and the uncertainty of this particular situation were doing nothing to alleviate his discomfort either…

In an effort to block out the chaos around them, Luke focused intently in the conversation between Lorelai and the obnoxious punk at the counter. The more the kid spoke, the more his self-centered apathy reminded him of a certain nephew he'd had to deal with not too long ago… He hadn't taken any crap from Jess, he wasn't going to take it now either, especially when it stood to hurt Lorelai and keep them from finding out what the hell was going on.

The shrugged apology laced with ennui was the last straw. Nostrils flaring, emotions heightened by the events of the past few hours, Luke went into full rant mode. "Look," he practically snarled, "Obviously she's close to them, she wouldn't have been watching their kids if she wasn't! You, you, you _hospital people_," he stuttered in disdain, "you talk to her on the phone, she does everything you ask, you tell her she can come down here, she's – we're –," Luke stumbled over his correction, "_we're_ scared out of our minds worrying about them, and you're not going to tell us what's going on? What the hell is _wrong_ with you people? If you think…"

Luke kept right on going, his voice growing louder with each word, though it was still hardly noticeable above the din of the crowded emergency room. With all of his literal arm-waving, he'd foregone his grip on Lorelai's hand at some point. The loss of contact allowed Lorelai to involuntarily turn away from him, once again taking in the sights and sounds of the busy room. Until that moment, she'd been holding herself together fairly well, but with Luke taking over the only task she'd had to focus on as a distraction, it was all too much. _Sookie and Jackson were here? In this mess? Brought in on horrible little bed on wheels, blood all over, machines and wires attached every which way…_ It took only a few seconds before Lorelai was overcome by yet another bought of full-on, hiccupping tears.

Sookie was her best friend, aside from Rory and Luke. But Rory was her daughter-best-friend, and Luke was her guy-friend-turned-boyfriend-best-friend. Sookie was the traditional one, and the first true friend she'd made when she'd come to Stars Hollow and the Independence Inn when Sookie'd been commuting to the Inn on weekends from the CIA over in Hyde Park… The first person her age that hadn't looked down on her because she was an 18 year-old maid living in a shed with a two-year old daughter… And now her business partner… Her _best friend_…

Somewhere in her mind, she knew she was doing herself no one any good reminiscing and crying her eyes out, not Sookie, not herself, not any of the other people around her that were probably in the same situation as her…

One arm wrapped tightly around her own midsection, the other bent up upwards as she clenched her fist in from of her face, Lorelai pursed her lips, trying her best to fend off further tears, as she forced herself to try and think positively. After all, they didn't really know _anything_ yet…

But the only other thing she could possibly focus on in the craziness of the room was Luke, and how utterly amazing he was being - now, fighting for some sort of information, and all night, with the kids, and the driving, and just holding her… A fresh round of tears sprung to her eyes.

At the same time, Luke had apparently finally reached a decibel level high enough to catch the attention of someone else with authority in the ER. Another doctor, slightly older than the intern, rushed over.

"Excuse me sir, is there something we can do for you?" she asked politely, if a bit patronizingly.

Now wary of anyone wearing a knee-length white coat, Luke toned nothing down, choosing merely to re-direct his tirade, "Yeah! You can tell me what the hell happened to my friends!"

The woman, more than used to short-tempered, irrational friends and family members, ignored Luke for a moment, raising a skeptical eyebrow over the counter towards the bored intern.

"Double MVA, about an hour ago. Husband and wife. _They're_ not family," the younger doctor informed flatly, gesturing to Luke and Lorelai behind him.

"I apologize, but it _is_ hospital policy to release privileged information to family members only," she explained simply, Luke's tone not having won him any brownie points towards any bending of the rules.

Luke practically bit her head off, "I know, I know what the goddamned policy is. I've already gotten that from this fountain of knowledge over here!" He pointed none-too-kindly at the intern.

By that point, the addition of another voice into the conversation had registered in Lorelai's blurry mind. She quickly whirled around, wide-eyed, clutching Luke's arm as she poised herself for any new information that might surface.

The doctor had opened her mouth to speak again and simply reiterate the fact that she was not in a position to release any information when she caught sight of Lorelai. She obviously hadn't noticed her before, or hadn't understood that she was with Luke, and whether it was some sort of subconscious understanding between females, or just pure pity at the sight of a broken woman with tear-stained cheeks and wide, hopeful eyes, the doctor softened a bit.

"Look Mr…" she began, trailing off.

"Danes," Luke snapped, "Luke Danes."

"Mr. and Mrs. Danes. Look, we can't _officially_ tell you anything," she began, neither Luke nor Lorelai caring to correct her assumption. "But I was the attending for Jackson Melville. I _can_ tell you that his family is here, and that they're in the waiting room on the surgical floor."

"Jackson's in surgery?" Lorelai spat out suddenly, disbelieving, "Or Sookie?"

The doctor balked, wanting to say more, "I can't… You should just go up there. Take a left at that corner towards the elevators, there'll be signs pointing you in the right direction."

"What about Sookie?" Lorelai pressed frantically, "His wife?"

"I'm sorry, I don't know…"

"That's fine, thank you," Luke cut in appreciatively, his tone back to civil immediately. Moving to steer Lorelai away towards the elevators, he urged in her ear, "Let's go."

Lorelai shuffled into motion at Luke's insistence, reluctantly leaving the doctor, who obviously knew something, behind. Scurrying along beside him, she ran her eyes over the myriad of signs littering the walls to try and figure out where it was they were supposed to go.

They waited in an awkward, nervous silence for the elevator, each desperate to find out what had happened to Sookie and Jackson, but also desperately afraid of what the answer to their question might be.

Just before the elevator reached their floor, Lorelai turned to look at Luke with frightened eyes, "Surgery?" she whispered meekly.

Luke had no idea what to say…He knew as well as she did what that could mean… But admitting that out loud wasn't an option.

Reaching for her hand again, he stroked her fingers with his thumb, offering the best response he could, "They do surgery on things like sprained wrists…" Luckily, the elevator reached their floor at that moment, and he was able to tear his eyes from Lorelai's, lest his expression be less than reassuring, as he suspected was the case.

Luke was foundering, and he knew it. He should be helping Lorelai, comforting her or something… And he just didn't know how to do it…

As the elevator doors opened, he jumped on the first thing he could think of to do for her – he grabbed the first person he saw, "Excuse me, we're looking for…"

But Lorelai was a step ahead. She'd quickly scanned the area, and caught a glimpse of someone who looked vaguely familiar in a reflection on a glass door she could just make out. "Wait, Luke…" She jogged quickly down the hallway, peering around the corner, "Mrs. Melville?"

She was greeted with a nod, though not one of recognition.

Seeing Lorelai enter whatever room it was that she was in front of, Luke absentmindedly thanked the person he'd originally stopped to talk to and hurried after Lorelai.

She was just explaining her presence to the elderly couple in front of her when he appeared behind her, "… sorry, maybe you don't remember me… us," Lorelai corrected, seeing that Luke had followed her. "Lorelai Gilmore, Sookie's friend? From the Inn?" she prompted fretfully.

A wave of acknowledgment washed over the weary faces of Jackson's elderly parents as they drew upon the memories of their son's wedding and other family get-togethers in Stars Hollow. Across the room sat yet another intern, this one a young woman in scrubs and with a far more pleasant demeanor about her than her counterpart downstairs. Mrs. Melville nodded in her direction, as if to confirm that yes, it was okay that Luke and Lorelai were there.

And another awkward silence. Lorelai certainly didn't want to drag these poor people back through whatever ordeal they'd gone through when they'd learned of what happened… But she had to know… She spoke up cautiously, her voice cracking, "We don't really know anything… Um, is… How are…?" She trailed off, the situation at hand having drained her of any eloquence she may have once possessed.

At her question, the intern rose from her seat, in a silent question to Jackson's parents on how she should handle the situation.

Luke and Lorelai's eyes darted back and forth apprehensively between the Melvilles and the intern – pauses were never good…

Mr. Melville eventually just waved his hand, indicating that they should be told whatever they wanted to hear.

The intern gave the Melvilles a sympathetic smile before turning to Luke and Lorelai, "Mr. Melville – Jackson – is currently being operated on. He sustained significant abdominal trauma, and the surgeons are making every attempt to repair the damage and stop any internal bleeding." She ended hesitantly, not sure what kind of reaction to expect from the pair.

"Oh my…" Lorelai sucked in a quick breath as Luke tensed behind her, "Will he…" She clasped a hand over her mouth, unable to even finish her question, not sure she actually wanted to know the answer.

"As I've told his parents here, Jackson's injuries are quite serious," the intern explained quietly, skirting the actual answer with practiced ease. "He's got an excellent team of doctors working on him."

Lorelai let out a soft whimper, leaning back against Luke as she squeezed her eyes closed tightly. They flew back open almost immediately as she sprang to life upon the realization that they'd only been told about Jackson, "And Sookie?" she pleaded.

Luke, not quite as focused on the intern as Lorelai, was sure he heard a muffled sob escape from the previously silent Mrs. Melville upon Lorelai's uttering of Sookie's name. He blinked hard, hoping that he'd heard wrong…

Lorelai hadn't heard, but she also hadn't heard anything from the hesitant intern yet either. Anxious, she cried louder, "What happened to Sookie!"

The intern took a deep breath and finally spoke, "Mrs. Melville was brought into the ER with her husband… Apparently the impact of the crash was on the passenger side. She received the brunt of the force…" She trailed off, not wanting to say the words… "We did everything we could…"

_It was true_, Luke realized…

"No!" Lorelai wailed, her hand flying to her gaping mouth and staggering as her legs went weak. She stumbled forward as her knees gave out involuntarily, forcing the petite intern to steady her. _Sookie…_

Still holding her up, the intern attempted to console Lorelai, "I'm so sorry…"

The sound of her words shook Luke from his stunned stupor. _He couldn't just stand there…_ Springing to action, he raced to Lorelai's side, taking her from the younger woman. She was limp against him as her legs still failed to function properly, and her entire body convulsed with loud, wailing sobs.

_Sookie…_ Of course Lorelai would be affected immensely, but Luke wasn't faring very well either. He was having a tough time holding himself together, nevermind holding Lorelai together as well, or even holding her up. He couldn't do it…

Pulling her even tighter to him, he lowered them both to the floor, draping Lorelai across his lap. Lorelai's arms were wrapped around his shoulders, her face buried against his neck as she cried for the loss of one of her best friends. Luke wanted to let himself go, he wanted to be able to do that… But Jackson was still alive, barely… _And he had to hold out hope for him, didn't he? _

Luke managed to blink back most of his tears, only a few stray streaks marking his rough cheeks. Instead of letting grief get the best of him, he focused his efforts on soothing Lorelai, trying to quiet her, rubbing her back… At some point in doing so, he locked gazes with Jackson's father. Realizing that he'd yet to formally acknowledge either of the Melvilles, Luke mouthed, "I'm so sorry…" to the elder man, offering his silent sympathy for their daughter-in-law, and unspoken hope for the recovery of their son.

And so the scene in the waiting room remained – Jackson's parents sitting numbly on an uncomfortable couch, waiting for any news from doctors in the operating room; the intern perched on a matching couch across the room, ready to console or inform at a moments notice; and Luke and Lorelai, still huddled together on the floor.

In time, Lorelai couldn't even muster up the energy to cry anymore. Having worn herself out, her sobs quieted to sniffles, the only thing she could manage on less than 3 hours of sleep. Eventually, numb, she slid herself off Luke's lap wordlessly. She stayed on the floor, but moved to lean up against the nearest wall. Her feeble efforts to drag Luke with her were the only sign she had retained any awareness of the goings-on around her.

By then it was just a waiting game. There was nothing anyone could do about Sookie. Every person in that waiting room was well aware of that. And they all knew that Jackson was still on the table…

For minutes, hours – no one really knew how long – they sat there, practically motionless: Lorelai curled up against Luke, one of his hands entangled with both of hers; Jackson's father wafting in and out of sleep; Mrs. Melville, awake, but with her eyes closed as she murmured prayers, her wrinkled fingers passing over the worn beads of a beloved rosary…

"You want coffee?" Luke asked quietly, wanting to feel as if he was doing something, _anything_…

Lorelai startled at the sound of his voice breaking the silence. _Coffee…_ But she just shook her head weakly, the rest of her not even moving. "Don't leave," she murmured in a hollow voice.

Luke swallowed hard at her refusal – nothing had _ever_ stopped her from drinking coffee before… Shifting, he put his arm over her shoulders, pulling her even closer, and breathing a sigh into her hair.

And so they sat.

He must have dozed off after that, for the next thing he remembered was being jerked awake as he felt Lorelai jump beside him, her elbow contacting his ribcage not far from where it had just a few hours earlier as a joke, before… Before everything…

"Wha…" he began, his brain fuzzy with sleep and curious as to what had caught Lorelai's attention so suddenly.

"Shh…" she hushed him harshly, head tilted as she listened.

Luke quieted, straining to hear whatever it was she was hearing. Footsteps… Luke tensed – _news_? He glanced at his watch – nearly 5 in the morning. Surely someone must know something by now…

Lorelai's face fell when the footsteps finally entered the room. No doctor bearing news, it was Jackson's older sister. Colleen? She couldn't be sure if that was the one that was Colleen… Probably was… In any case, she knew it was the sister who lived closest, but still a number of hours away, so her only arriving then made complete sense.

She watched Colleen race over to her parents, and the round of explanations, tears, and hugs that followed. She couldn't hear the full conversation, nor did she want to. _Once was enough… _

Eventually, as the still-present intern helped calm Colleen down and Mr. and Mrs. Melville resumed their stoic vigil, Colleen finally took in her surroundings, noticing Luke and Lorelai huddled together on the floor across the room. The intern, immediately noting her puzzlement, quickly explained who they were. Colleen nodded as recognition dawned on her, realizing that the pair on the floor did look familiar. Or at least the woman did… She offered a half-hearted smile of appreciation for their presence. Lorelai gestured awkwardly in return, not even able to force as much of a smile as Colleen had.

It was just over an hour later when the tense silence was broken for the final time.

Just after six o'clock, an aging doctor in full scrubs, right down to the matching cap and a surgical mask around the neck, entered the room, "Jackson Melville?"

In any other situation, the manner in which the six in the room simultaneously scrambled to their feet might have been comical.

But judging from the surgeon's grave expression, comedy was not an issue in this, the direst of circumstances. He spoke haltingly, he himself visibly pained by the words he was now faced with conveying to the family, "As you know, Jackson's internal bleeding was quite extensive,"

Lorelai's breath caught in her throat as Luke's fingers dug into her upper arm. _It didn't sound like a good start…_

The doctor pressed onward, "We did manage to stabilize him enough for the surgery, but once he got up here…" He trailed off as he watched faces fall. "With the volume of blood lost as a result of the trauma, and then the surgery, his heart stopped on the table. We've been shocking him for over an hour…"

And they knew.

The doctor's final words were a necessity to no one but himself, "He's gone too long without a heartbeat. I'm sorry…"

Jackson's mother began to weep softly, his father nodded in acceptance, perhaps already having resigned himself to the inevitability of such news. Colleen did her best to comfort her parents as the doctor and intern exited, making way for what Luke could only assume was a grief counselor or something.

As for him and Lorelai, they'd already shed so many tears… Hearing about Jackson just finally pushed the entire escapade to an even higher level of surreal. It just didn't seem real anymore – to have both of them gone… It had to be a dream.

_It had to be_, Lorelai tried to convince herself as she looked on blankly at Jackson's family in front of her. Or some grand joke at her expense. Any minute now, Sookie would jump out from behind a strategically placed gurney and yell, "Gotcha!" in her giggly, bubbly way… Or Jackson would run around the corner with fistfuls of carrots, complaining about how they too mealy. Or how they weren't mealy enough… Rory would walk in with Davy and Martha in a big double stroller, having been in on the scheme the whole time… She'd turn around, and Luke would be wearing a big fat mocking grin, teasing her that she got what she deserved for having dragged him into babysitting and making Sookie leave Martha so early…

Lorelai did turn around then. No such grin on Luke's face.

No joke, no balloons, no "You've just been Punk'd, Lorelai Gilmore!" Nothing. Just like what was left for Sookie and Jackson…

She wanted to cry, she really did. But after hours and hours crying already, hours and hours of waiting, she just felt deflated, and unable to process anything. It all seemed very anticlimactic, really. Jackson's parents were already being ushered in to see him one last time, and from what she could tell, Colleen was in the beginnings of a discussion over funeral arrangements with someone from hospital administration.

The room seemed to almost spin around Lorelai – everything had left her in a physically drained, autopilot-like state, but she had nothing to, there was nothing she could do. She felt helpless. So she did the only thing she could possibly think to do, wrapped her arms around Luke's neck, burying her face against his shoulder, letting out a sniffle every so often.

Luke felt much as she did, at a loss for words, not quite sure how to deal with the things that had been thrown at them. He welcomed her embrace, taking solace in the fact that at least they were able to be there for each other.

It wasn't long after when Colleen approached the pair, clearing her throat awkwardly beside them, "Sorry, Lorelai, right?"

Lorelai quickly disentangled herself from Luke, "Yes, Lorelai Gilmore," she verified. "And it's Colleen, right?"

Colleen confirmed with a small nod, before peering at Luke expectantly.

"Uh, Luke Danes, I'm a frie… _was_…" Luke kicked himself at his horrible choice of words. What the hell was someone supposed to say in a situation like this? He opted to finish with a simple, "I'm from Stars Hollow too."

Colleen nodded, offering a wan smile. She understood what Luke meant… "Thank you, thank you both for coming. You have no idea what that means to us…"

"Oh no, don't thank…" Lorelai protested, feeling horrible for not being the one t be comforting Colleen. She'd just lost her brother, and her she was _thanking_ them? "Colleen," she stuttered, giving the woman an awkward hug, "I'm so sorry."

She got a defeated shrug from the older woman in response, "Well, there's not much we can do here at six in the morning," Colleen admitted, reality rearing its ugly head. "So I think I'm going to just take my parents home. They live closest to Stars Hollow…"

"Right, right…" Luke and Lorelai both just nodded in agreement, not sure of what else they could say.

"So, we'll get the kids on our way I guess?" Colleen asked, efficiency obviously having kicked into gear, taking over where emotion had left off, "You two were watching them?"

Lorelai's hand flew to her gaping mouth. She'd almost forgotten… There were _children_ involved. "Oh my god, Davy…"

"We'll figure it out," Colleen assured her, still waiting for the answer to her original question.

Lorelai pulled herself back together, comforted by Luke rubbing her shoulder behind her. "Um, yeah, they're still home right now actually…" she explained, "Uh, my daughter, uh, and another neighbor came over…"

Colleen had gotten the information she needed, and driven by necessity, she began a mental to-do list, pacing about the small waiting room, "Ok, yeah. We'll get them on the way. And I guess I'll go home, get my things… I'll come back later on to start dealing with things… Beau _won't _do it, Mom and Dad won't be able to do it, and Erin can't either…"

"Colleen?" Luke interjected suddenly, "Anything we can do, really, just let us know." He knew from dealing with his Uncle Louie that none of what she was facing was an easy process, especially given that she and the rest of her family we exponentially more emotionally invested than he'd been with his Uncle…

"Yeah, oh god, yeah, just let me know, I can help and you can stay at the Inn…" Lorelai echoed him; _she_ knew from Gran's funeral the year before exactly what Colleen and the rest of the Melvilles were up against…

"Thank you both," Colleen began genuinely, losing her train of thought as her parents re-entered the room.

Luke and Lorelai hung back silently as the family discussed their next move. Colleen had had much of it worked out in her head already, as only a few moments later the group was trudging solemnly across the parking lot, searching for their cars in the dim pink light of early morning.

The plan was just to head back to Stars Hollow, where the Melvilles would pick up Davy and Martha before Colleen dropped them off with her parents at their house. From then on, she'd head back to her own home in Southern Vermont just long enough to get her own family caught up on the situation before she turned back around with them and headed back to Stars Hollow.

Technically, neither Luke nor Lorelai really needed to go back to Sookie and Jackson's house; Colleen had promised to let them know if there was anything they could do to help. But Rory and Patty were still with the kids, and they wouldn't necessarily know the Melvilles… More than anything, Lorelai wanted to be the one to tell Rory. There was no telling how she'd handle the news, and she needed to be there for her…

The ride back to Stars Hollow was much like the ride to the hospital. Less anxiety, yes, but the air in the small cab of the truck felt heavy and depressing, keeping both Luke and Lorelai just as silent as they'd been for much of the night.

And the silence was driving Luke crazy. He didn't want to hear his own thoughts… Halfway through the drive, he began fiddling with the radio, just to have some sort of noise. But it was no use. Even as the music droned on, it was still just the two of them sitting there quietly, both trying to process everything running through their chaotic minds…

Before long, the two cars pulled up in front of Sookie and Jackson's house.

Inside, Rory had been perched apprehensively on the couch, staring out the window while she clutched the phone, anxious for any sort of news. At the sight of Luke's truck out front, she dropped the phone immediately, dashing out the door. "Mom?" she questioned urgently, barely even allowing Lorelai a chance to get out of the car.

Lorelai did her best to put on a brave face and a comforting smile for her daughter… It ended up looking more like a defeated shrug; her shoulders slumped as she willed herself not to cry again.

Rory knew immediately what that meant, and she shrank away from Lorelai, not wanting to believe it. Her face twisted in defiant disbelief, she turned to Luke, desperate for confirmation that it wasn't true, "Luke?" _It couldn't be true…_

Luke sent a helpless glance in Lorelai's direction before turning back to Rory sadly, shaking his head ever so slightly.

Looking as if she'd been punched in the stomach, Rory folded her arms across her waist, gnawing at her lower lip as she fought valiantly to keep her threatening tears at bay.

Seeing Rory like that suddenly gave Lorelai the strength she'd been lacking all night. Somehow finding a way to switch roles and play the strong, dependable one, she ran over to Rory, wrapping her arms around her and cradling her against her chest. "It's ok babe, it's ok," she said softly, "Let it out…"

Rory's sobs grew louder at her mother's words. Over her shoulder, Luke questioned Lorelai with his eyes – What could he do to help? Nodding towards the house, Lorelai gestured for him to go inside with Jackson's family, to talk to Patty, help get the kids, whatever needed to be done.

Lorelai stayed out on the lawn, swaying gently with Rory as she cried, rocking her, shushing her, smoothing her hair.

Rory had already begun to calm down slightly when Lorelai caught sight of Luke exiting the house, the others just behind him.

"You alright to get out of here?" Lorelai asked Rory, pulling back to look expectantly into her eyes, "We'll go home?"

Also noticing the group leaving the house, Rory nodded, sniffling. With an arm around her shoulder, Lorelai steered Rory over to her little sedan, putting her in the passenger seat. "Sit tight for a second, ok?" Lorelai hesitated when Rory didn't respond, but her breathing was a little calmer, so she reluctantly left her there, heading back up the driveway towards Colleen and Luke.

The Melvilles were all at Colleen's car, trying to figure out the best seating arrangement, given the lack of infant seats and the lap-holding that would be required until new ones could be bought.

Luke quickly closed the space between him and Lorelai as she approached, holding out a small brown leather bag to her, "Here, Miss Patty said this was Rory's…"

"Thanks," Lorelai reached in, fishing for Rory's car keys.

"Is she…" Luke stammered, shrugging his shoulder in the direction of Rory's car, "Is she ok?

Lorelai started to answer, but trailed off when Colleen approached, holding a sleepy Davy.

None of them really knew what to say…

Luke eventually spoke first, his stilted question stating the obvious, but breaking the silence nonetheless, "So, you're heading out?"

"I'll be back here later," Colleen replied, gesturing to where her parents were, "After I get them home."

"And they're going with them?" Lorelai asked, referring to Martha and Davy, "You've got all their stuff?" she wondered aloud.

Colleen hitched Davy higher on her hip, speaking more to him than Lorelai, "I think we're ok." She did refocus on the adults in front of her after a moment, "Um, I grabbed some of their papers from in there, I think I've got your numbers in here. Would you mind…?"

"No, no, go ahead, really," Lorelai gushed, "Anything you need help with, just let me know. Or Luke."

A smile of appreciation. "I will. Thank you Lorelai, Luke."

Colleen lingered a moment longer, as Lorelai looked as if she had something else to say right on the tip of her tongue… "Colleen, I'm so sorry…" she spat out after a long pause.

"I know. Thanks."

And that was that. She and Davy headed over to the car, Davy was placed in his grandfather's lap, and they were off.

Suddenly alone together, as Patty had already disappeared to alert the town of the news, Luke eyed Lorelai, slightly skeptical of her newfound composure, "You ok?"

Lorelai let out a tired sigh, "Yeah, I just…" Her words faded out as she watched Rory sitting in the car, "We should get home. I don't really want her driving right now…."

Luke raised an eyebrow in concern, "Are _you_ ok to do it?"

"I'm fine…" she assured him, pursing her lips thoughtfully before continuing, "Just… Will you come with us?" she asked shyly.

Luke's gaze darted from Rory's car, to his truck, to Lorelai's jeep, also still sitting there from the night before. _It seemed silly to all go in one car…_

"I mean, come over? In your truck?" Lorelai clarified, practically reading his mind, "Or the jeep, since that's still here too…"

Luke readily agreed, "I'm right behind ya. Go." He quickly squeezed her to him, placing a brief kiss on her temple as she closed her eyes and smiled gratefully. As he headed away towards his truck, Lorelai took a deep breath. _Time to be strong again_, she told herself as she made her way to Rory's car, _time to be the mom…_

Luke had stuck to his word, following right behind Lorelai as she drove, and they pulled into her driveway not five minutes later.

Lorelai was surprised to see Rory jump out of the car immediately, after not having moved a muscle since she'd placed her in the seat back at Sookie's. Watching Rory scurry across the lawn, head down and hugging herself, and then fumble with the front door, Lorelai knew she had to get in there. She shot Luke an apologetic glance and raced after her daughter.

She caught her in the foyer, just past the stairs. Placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, she pulled Rory back towards her, "You ok?"

"Are you?" Rory snapped pointedly, hating stupid questions.

Lorelai ignored the venom in Rory's voice – they were all upset, and she didn't mean it… "No," she answered honestly, "But I asked you first."

Rory crumbled, mad at herself for taking out her messy emotions on Lorelai, "I… I can't even really process now, you know?" Lorelai nodded sympathetically as she watched Rory's big blue eyes fill with tears again, just as hers already had so many times. "I mean, they're…" Rory couldn't say the words, choking on tears.

Pulling her close for another comforting hug, Lorelai tried as best she could to calm Rory down, "I know babe, I don't know what to do here either…" she sniffled.

The two Lorelais were still in that position when Luke finally made it up to the house a few moments later. Clutching each of their purses, which he'd so chivalrously rescued from the cars, he clamored in through the front door. However, upon catching a glimpse of them, he hung back, lingering in the foyer, not wanting to intrude.

Another moment later, Rory pulled away from her mother, smearing the tears on her cheeks as she gestured over her shoulder to her room, "I think," she started, "I think I'm just gonna try to sleep for a while… Didn't get much in before…"

Lorelai glanced wearily at the clock across the room as Rory spoke – she was surprised to find it only a few minutes before eight… It felt more like it should eight years from now, for all they'd been through in the past six hours…

Those six hours finally catching up to her, she began to think Rory's idea was a good one – she couldn't torture herself by dwelling on the night's… _happenings_… if she was asleep… Looking down adoringly at Rory, Lorelai's wished she could do something more for her… All she could do was reach out to smooth Rory's hair around her face as she replied, "'K… Me too, I think, but you need anything, wake me up, ok?"

"Sure," Rory managed a weak smile for Lorelai's sake. But she hesitated, not turning toward her room immediately.

Lorelai tilted her head in confusion for a split second before Rory threw herself at her, hugging her tightly, choking out, "Mom…"

"I know babe… Go on…" Lorelai blinked back tears as she shooed Rory off to her room. Watching her go, she crossed her arms in front of her chest, willing herself not to cry again.

Luke watched for a moment, waiting, before he eased up behind her, cautiously brushing her upper arm. Lorelai jumped, sucking in a quick breath at the contact, but closed her eyes and leaned into him as he moved behind her. Still carrying the two small handbags from the cars, he turned just long enough to place them on the small phone table beside him. He was just turning back around, moving to pull Lorelai into a full embrace, when she suddenly turned, racing up the stairs without a word.

Confused, Luke took half a second to make sure the purses were securely on the small table, then flew up the stairs after her.

He found her kneeling in the middle of her bed, face buried in her hands, crying harder than he'd seen all night, her thin frame shaking violently with each breath.

"Hey, hey," he murmured, rushing to her side, "You were just fine downstairs…" He trailed off, the questions obvious in his voice.

For the countless times she'd already found herself doing so in the past twelve hours, Lorelai melted into Luke's arms.

Though it was muffled by the flannel of his shirt, Luke was sure he heard her mutter, "Rory," in response to his unspoken inquiry.

Not that hearing Rory's name cleared up his confusion over her sudden about-face. He'd thought she was doing well… Pulling back from her, he tried to coax an elaboration out of her with his insistent gaze.

And Lorelai knew she owed him that much – she was laying the full brunt of her bipolar set of emotions on him… Not able to bring her head up to face him, she swiped a fist across her tear-streaked cheeks and spoke quietly from behind her curtain of tangled dark hair, sniffling, "I can't just break down in front of her…"

Luke's heart practically broke for her. So many years she'd had to put up that strong façade to protect her daughter… And even now, with Rory twenty years old, in unfathomable circumstances, she was still putting all that pressure on herself. "Yes you can…" he insisted, placing his hand on her cheek to direct her gaze up towards him. "There's no rules about this…"

"I have to keep it together for her, she's got no one else to lean on right now, you know?"

Luke brushed off her rebuttal, placing her hands on her shoulders and staring her square in the eyes, "You do _not_ have to put an act on for her. She's already four years older than you were when you had her – she's more than capable of taking over the Wonder Woman role for herself. It doesn't always have to be _you_, Lorelai. And she knows you better than anyone, and understands more than anyone how much this affects you."

"I know, I know she does…" Lorelai hung her head again, knowing Luke was right, logically. But logic wasn't the same… "It's just…" _How could she make him understand?_

After a moment, she tilted her head up again, gazing at him with the wonder of realization through blood-shot, tired eyes. "You do it."

Luke's brow furrowed in confusion as Lorelai continued.

"You do…" she reiterated, confirming it in her own mind as well. "You're doing the same thing right now," she asserted gently, "Luke, you _can't _be as ok with all of this as you seem." Luke's gaze dropped from hers, almost in shame. "Don't do it for me," Lorelai implored, her voice soft with sincerity.

Luke gave no indication of a reaction, save for clenching his eyes closed and exhaling a long, slow sigh.

Lorelai reached out and gave one of his hands a squeeze of reassurance, "Luke…"

And suddenly he tore his hand from her grasp as the floodgates opened, "Yes, I feel like shit ok?" he shouted, his arms waving emphatically. "Yes, I'm upset about everything, but I feel like shit because that's not even all I'm upset about!" Lorelai looked on in awe as he continued, never having expected such an outburst, "And it's so fucking selfish; I hate myself for thinking of anything but them!"

"Luke, it's ok… There's no rules here, rememb…" came Lorelai's timid attempt at placating him. It didn't work.

"Hartford!" Luke cut her off, leaping off the bed to his feet, "The stupid road to Hartford! You and Rory have driven that thing at least once a week for years now…" His voice began to crack under the weight of the implications of his own words. "How many times could it have been…." He couldn't finish the sentence. Lowering himself back to a sitting position on the bed, his back to Lorelai, he choked out enough of conclusion, "All I keep thinking is that it so easily could have been you…"

Lorelai stared, stunned, as Luke's shoulders began to shake in sobs as he showed more emotion than he had all night. The fear that he'd voiced hadn't even crossed the farthest corner of her mind. Until now. It could have been _any_ of them…

"Luke…" her own voice wavered as she crawled across the bed toward him. She turned his damp face to her and began kissing his tears from his cheeks, even as they mingled with her own.

Luke did the same for her as they cried together, for the loss of their friends, and for the fear of what could have been…

In time, tears slowed, and lips finally met lips as they each sought comfort in the fact that the other was still there to be able to hold them, to kiss them… Lorelai leaned back onto the bed, drawing Luke down on top of her as a further concrete reminder that she still had him.

Luke stiffened as she did, hesitant to let things go any farther. It seemed slightly wrong, in light of the circumstances…

Lorelai just gazed up at him, blue eyes still bright and shiny with yet unshed tears, "Please?" she whispered, "I need you Luke…"

He never could deny her anything. Not when she was in such pain… Not when _he_ was in such pain… He needed her – and _this_ – as much as she did.

So clothes were shed, piece by piece. Kisses drifted back away from lips, trailing over bare skin. Hands wandered in loving caresses and gentle strokes…

It wasn't about sex. It wasn't about passion or even making love. It was Luke and Lorelai, soft, tender, and slow, taking comfort in the physical presence of each other, the tangible confirmation that they were there for each other through the worst of times, and that neither one of them was going to change that.

As they came to a bittersweet climax, Lorelai wept softly against Luke's bare chest – for what, she didn't even know anymore. She clung to him desperately as they lay, still tangled together. It was in that position that she cried herself to sleep. Long hours and emotional overload had finally gotten the best of her.

Luke watched her, wiping away any stray tears that periodically escaped her closed eyes, waiting for the rhythmic breathing of slumber to set in. She had finally dozed off, looking more peaceful than any of them had in hours, when Luke recalled her instructions to Rory downstairs.

Wonder Woman or not, Rory didn't need to walk in to find her mother sleeping in nothing but disheveled bed sheets. Awkwardness was the last thing the three of them needed thrown into the mix, especially that day.

Inching away from her ever so slowly, so as to not disturb her, Luke slid away from Lorelai, scanning the floor for his clothes. He quickly yanked his boxers on, and tossed on the t-shirt he'd had under his flannel for good measure. Realizing quickly that she couldn't exactly just throw on, and sleep in, the skin tight jeans and elaborately embroidered camisole with the glittery things all over it that she'd been wearing earlier, he crept over to her dresser and crouched down to yank open the bottom drawer.

Before he could even grab a tank top and pajama shorts for her, he heard a rustling sound behind him as Lorelai stirred.

When she did, and didn't feel Luke beside her in doing so, she shot up to a sitting position, the sheet falling away from her bare chest as her eyes went wide with panic, "Luke?"

_Shit…_ Luke snatched up whatever was on the top in the drawer and stood back up, hurriedly putting himself back in Lorelai's line of sight to calm her.

It worked. Lorelai was already breathing a deep sigh of relief, and feeling quite silly as Luke crawled back into bed beside her.

"Hey, hey…" he soothed her, wiping away yet another stray tear, "I'm right here."

Lorelai nodded sheepishly and leaned against his shoulder, embarrassed at her little outburst.

"You told Rory to come get you if she needed you," he explained, dropping a kiss on her head and placing the balled-up shorts and shirt in her hands. "You've gotta be clothed…"

Knowing he was right, Lorelai slipped into the pajamas wordlessly. Only after she got herself situated back under the covers did she look up at Luke gratefully, "Thanks." On the surface, it may have seemed a thank you for the clothes… It was for everything. Which Luke knew. He just pulled her to him in response, settling them together to sleep – probably they only peaceful reprieve they'd get over the next few days.

He was just starting to nod off when Lorelai's voice, uncharacteristically restrained, brought him back to consciousness. "Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't leave anymore?" she beseeched, more affected by waking up without him than she'd like to admit.

Luke rubbed her bare arm reassuringly as he closed his eyes once more, "You got it…"

The events of the previous night had taken their toll on them, emotionally, physically, everything. Spent, they drifted off to sleep together, though they knew there was so much more they'd have to face and deal with once they woke again later that afternoon.

**To be continued…**


	3. Chapter 3

**In a Flash**

**See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.**

**Wow guys, again with the reviews… I can't say enough how amazing you all are for leaving me such kind words. You say I made you cry with the last chapter – your reviews made _me_ cry! Can you say warm fuzzies?**

**Now… Excuse the random rant, but it needs to be done – what the hell is up with the Emmy people? Sure 'Desperate Housewives' is great and all, but do they seriously think that it's better than GG in every single freakin' category? Do they not realize that, comparatively, Lauren Graham, Scott Patterson, etc. would totally rock Wisteria Lane and kick Teri Hatcher's butt all the way back to The Daily Planet faster than Lorelai gulps down coffee? They already practically plagiarized the role of Susan – she wasn't TV's first brunette, slightly neurotic, slightly clumsy single-mom with a freakishly close relationship with her only daughter that also happens to fall for the local scruffy, hunky Mr. Fix-it… Grr – The WB gets no respect…**

**Ok, sorry about that – end rant. Moving on…**

**Anyway, I apologize for the wait here – I know some of you probably wish I would forget the long chapters and just post whatever I've got, whenever I've got it. But I can't – my mind just doesn't work in ½-hour-sitcom-mode. Hell, it's not even really hour-long-drama-mode either – more like epic-miniseries-mode ;) So my chapters are just going to have to be long, and long-winded. I appreciate that, so far, you're sticking around anyway. We're in for the long haul here people…**

**So thanks again! Feedback/suggestions/fellow rants are always much appreciated :)**

It was just after noon when Rory crept into Lorelai's bedroom, phone extension gripped tightly in her hands. Entering without thinking, she was caught off guard momentarily at the sight of her mother and Luke, together, in Lorelai's bed. Obviously she knew it was nothing out of the ordinary anymore, and obviously Luke would have stayed today… Being away at school all year, she'd just never been witness to such a scene…

In any case, she allowed herself to be fazed by the sight for only a second, as there were more pressing matters to deal with.

"Mom," she whispered urgently, "Mom?" No response from either Luke or Lorelai. Rory inched her way closer to the bed, eventually resorting to poking Lorelai in the side with the phone antenna as further whispers went unnoticed as well.

Lorelai moaned softly, swatting involuntarily at the poking, "Hmm…"

"Mom," Rory pressed insistently, "Get up."

Persistence eventually won. Lorelai's eyes finally opened. She squinted at Rory, memories of the nightmare that was reality slowly trickling back into her bleary mind. "Ror…" And then she realized she might be needing to play the mom-role again. She'd told Rory to come to her… Panicking, Lorelai's bloodshot eyes flew wide open as she tried to pull herself to a sitting position without disturbing Luke. "What…"

Luckily Rory had held herself together fairly well, and, knowing where he mother's panic was rooted, she quickly let her know as much with a quick shake of the head. Then she held out the phone timidly, one finger carefully covering the mouthpiece, "Phone." A slight pause followed, accompanied by an awkward contortion of her face and shoulders as she hesitated in bringing the current situation back into the open, "It's, uh, Colleen…"

And there is was, the full-fledged, concrete reminder to Lorelai that she hadn't dreamed everything. No, it wasn't all just a nightmare, no it wasn't Rory handing her the phone with Sookie on the other end telling her to get her lazy, late, little butt down to the Dragonfly… Lorelai's face fell. "Oh, God," she breathed, squeezing her eyes closed as she reached hesitantly for the phone.

"Colleen… It's Lorelai…" Rory felt herself begin to choke up as she watched her mother force herself to put on that brave face she always tried to wear, discussing what needed to be done, how she could help. It just hammered home the reality of everything…

Rory was shaken from her thoughts as she caught movement out of the corner of her eye. Luke was fully awake, and having heard Lorelai's end of the conversation thus far, had quickly pulled himself to a sitting position just behind her – a silent offer of moral support.

It was a few seconds before Luke, still groggy, even looked up to register that Rory was in the room as well, lingering in the doorway. He caught her eye, sending her an awkward half-smile of acknowledgment.

Rory's cheeks flushed with embarrassment at having been caught intruding for far too long on not only Lorelai's conversation, but on Luke and Lorelai, in what might as well have been _their _bedroom. She gave a weak wave of her hand as her gaze dropped quickly from Luke's. Slinking out of the room, she made her way back downstairs to throw some clothes on. From the snippets of Lorelai's conversation that had managed to register in her brain, Rory knew that there was a lot that was going to have to be done…

And she wasn't wrong.

Shortly after, Luke and Lorelai made their way downstairs, also both dressed, having foregone showers. The trio headed for Luke's, where he could at least be granted the luxury of changing into clean clothes – something the Lorelais had already done. Colleen met them there, and the three women quickly dove into endless to-do lists. Luke spent his time throwing together a haphazard lunch, breakfast, brunch… Whatever – he had no idea the last time any of them had eaten, or what time their bodies may have thought it was. He just wanted to get some food into them. But in the end, even after he brought plates over to the makeshift funeral command center, little was actually eaten. Himself included, all anyone could do was halfheartedly pick at the small array of sandwiches, salads, and french-fries, far more moving around of food occurring than actual consumption. Eating just wasn't a priority anymore…

In any case, the impromptu meeting progressed fairly quickly, with plans somehow falling into place seamlessly…

Colleen and her husband would go about notifying family members and friends from out of town, all of whom could stay at the Dragonfly, since Lorelai would immediately put Michel to the task of canceling any coming reservations and politely – or as politely as he could muster – encouraging any present guests to cut their stays short…

Meals for any remaining guests would be cancelled, but Luke and Manny would cover the feeding of any funeral guests staying there – Cesar and Lane could handle the diner on their own for a few days…

After passing along the news, Colleen would recruit those same family members to help her in the planning of the actual funerals – meeting with lawyers, going over wills, cemeteries, and the like…

Jackson's parents and Colleen's two daughters would deal with Martha, Davy, and any other small children who ended up in town for the funerals…

Rory would take care of travel arrangements online as soon as she got word from Colleen of who needed to come from where…

Lorelai and Colleen's son would act as the informal taxi service, shuttling people back and forth from Bradley International, train, or bus station, to the Dragonfly, with Rory chipping in extra rides as well…

Lorelai would also act as a sort of general manager for the whole production, taking care of smaller, though still necessary, details, like ordering flower arrangements, picking readings for the church service, and throwing together photo collages and memorabilia…

Rory had volunteered her journalistic services, as she had with Gran, to write obituaries…

Patty had probably already taken to notifying Stars Hollow…

And so began a blur of days… Luke's presence in the Inn's kitchen wasn't nearly as necessary as originally planned, so he took to tagging along with Lorelai, and even taking over the flower task, having made some contacts during the myrtle/wheat fiasco that was the planning of Liz and TJ's wedding. Rory couldn't get out of work again Monday, so more taxiing was out of the question for her…

But for the most part, the plans stuck – people were kept busy, lost in some sort of mechanical, organizational daze that always seemed to permeate funeral planning. No one had time to dwell on _things_, stoic emotional barriers penetrated only by fleeting moments of awareness of the tragedy that had happened…

An overheard TV news spot here – _…curve in the road, combined with the flash of headlights in the fog led Melville to swerve into…_

A picture in the newspaper there – Jackson's SUV crunched beyond the point of recognition…

A heart-breakingly innocent question from a newly-orphaned child – _Mama?_

Or a glimpse of a black ribbon pinned to someone's lapel – courtesy, of course, of Taylor…

And suddenly, four days had passed. Somehow they'd all survived it, plans had been made, arrangements taken care of, and there they were, at the wake.

Rory, Luke, and Lorelai had arrived early, Lorelai still having some setting up of pictures and guest books to do. Rory trailed along behind her for a bit, trying to help, though being female and only a few years removed from teenagerdom, she was quickly whisked away to help Colleen's daughters control the legions of kids that had begun to arrive, dragged along for no good reason.

Which left Luke alone, with only his thoughts. He hated wakes and funerals and cemeteries and everything that went along with them. Not that he figured there were many people who liked them – save maybe for the undertaker/funeral parlor types who were making a pretty penny off the whole debacle… He just didn't do the whole 'let's look at all the cute pictures of the dead people while we pretend they're not actually only twenty feet away, lying in a big satin-lined box' deal. Which apparently was how these things worked now. Or maybe they always had… The bulk of his funeral experience had been before age twenty – first his mother when he was very small, followed in quick succession by all four grandparents, a few great-aunts and -uncles, and finally his dad. Until Uncle Louie a few years back, that had pretty much been it. But maybe they did the silly picture thing back then too… He'd probably been too young or upset to notice.

Louie he hadn't even really cared about… But now… Now he just felt awkward and upset, and he really just wasn't sure what to do with himself. He'd gone up to the front of the room to pay his respects earlier, preferring to avoid the crowds and lines that were just beginning to form. It'd been hard, he was willing to admit that – they were younger than he was for god sakes… And that one guilty thought again – what if it had been Lorelai?

Still, he'd held himself together, said the requisite little prayers at the kneelers, and retreated to a corner. Not really wanting to deal with people, he just lingered in the back, offering sympathy to family members when they approached him, and excuses about finding the rest room when Patty or Babette did.

Lorelai, on the other hand, _did_ do the picture deal. She spent the entire evening hovering near the main doorway, greeting people, pointing out goofy photographs and regaling people with the tales behind them. She giggled at the pictures she's never seen before of Jackson as child, laughing at the stories his family members had to share. In short, she played the role of genial hostess perfectly, even going so far as to track down extra boxes of tissues when the ones the funeral home had provided ran low. And never once did she let herself cry…

In time, the crowds dwindled, leaving mostly close family members, Luke, and Lorelai. Seeing that Lorelai appeared to be finishing up her farewells to some of Sookie's cousins, he headed over to her, gently placing a hand in the small of her back.

Lorelai jumped instinctively at the touch, before softening as she realized it was Luke. "Hey," she smiled, turning around to press her face to his chest.

Luke's reply of "Hey" got lost somewhere in the soft, curly arrangement Lorelai had her hair twisted into.

After one more comforting breath of Luke-smell, Lorelai reluctantly pulled away from him a bit. Biting her lip thoughtfully, she gestured over to the few Melvilles and St. James that were still around, "We should probably… Leave them…"

Luke eyed her quizzically, in full agreement that they should probably head out, but also knowing full well that she had yet to make it any further into the room than the back row of seating. "Have you…?" He trailed off, nodding his head towards the front of the room, where the two caskets lay.

Lorelai immediately tore her gaze from Luke's, focusing instead at some non-descript spot on the wallpaper. With a quick sniffle, she pursed her lips together and shook her head vehemently.

"Lorelai…" Luke urged her to look at him, knowing how hard it would be for her, but also knowing that she'd never be able to live with herself if she didn't suck it up and deal with the fact that she needed to say her goodbyes…

Determined, Lorelai did turn her head back to him, with a pointed statement of "No."

"You have to…" Luke floundered, not knowing how hard he should push…

"No," Lorelai insisted, "No. Not tonight. I'll do it tomorrow, I'm gonna cry tomorrow anyway, might as well get all in at once." Which she surely would do – she knew she'd be a basketcase at the funeral, and she also knew there'd be nothing she could do about it. Thus her logic in trying to retain some sense of emotional control for the time being.

Logic that Luke was more than skeptical about, which earned her a doubtful eye from his direction.

With a sigh, Lorelai tried explaining yet again, "No, tonight was happy. Whee, look at all the crazy pictures, tell silly stories…" She waved ambiguously over towards the photo arrangements before focusing again on Luke. "I was good at that, that was fine. But now you," she poked him in the center of his chest as she let out a noise somewhere between a sniffle and a laugh, "You're kind of messing with my tactics here. Today happy. Tomorrow whatever. I'm good now, so don't send me up there."

It was more a question than a statement, her pleading tone letting Luke know that he probably _could_ coerce her into going up… But he wasn't heartless. He knew she – and he – would have a hard enough time tomorrow; as she'd pointed out, there really was no point in forcing it any earlier… "Ok."

Lorelai's staunch expression of defiance softened gratefully. "Thank you," she whispered sincerely, tucking herself against Luke's side and steering him towards the exit.

After retrieving coats and Lorelai's purse, they had made it to the front walkway before Luke hesitated, looking around in confusion. Nudging Lorelai, he asked, perplexed, "Rory?"

"Oh right…" Lorelai looked a little befuddled herself as she replayed the night's events in her mind, trying to figure out where Rory could be. Realization soon dawned, "I think she offered to take Davy and Martha home a while ago."

Luke nodded, accepting the explanation. They continued into the nearly vacant parking lot when his own realization hit, "In her car?"

"Yeah…" Lorelai replied, not understanding his implication.

"The one we came in?" Luke coaxed, tilting his head towards the few cars scattered around them, none of which were theirs.

Lorelai looked around, giggling sheepishly, "Oh right…" She shrugged, taking in the clear, balmy night, "We can walk…"

And so they did, turning around and heading in the direction they had just come from, back across the parking lot, towards the center of town. Most of their stroll was left to peaceful silence, the two of them ambling slowly, Luke's arm draped around Lorelai's shoulders, her hand angled upwards to toy aimlessly with his fingers. Luke figured Lorelai's uncharacteristic silence was just the uneasy aftermath of the wake – _his_ was…

But when Lorelai piped up as they approached the town square, he was proved wrong.

She elbowed him in the side, "Think Cesar had some pies going today?"

Apparently her mind was on pie…

Luke just shrugged, "Probably."

"Think there's any left?" She looked up, eyeing him through a few wayward curls, "I need some pie…"

With that one look, Luke knew he _had_ been right… This was no 'I'm Lorelai Gilmore and therefore I need pie' pie, it was comfort-food pie. He pulled her tighter to him, "Let's go."

Halfway across the square, somewhere in the vicinity of the gazebo, Lorelai broke the silence again, concerned, "Did I brush my teeth today?"

Baffled as to her mental leap, Luke peered at her curiously, "How should I know?"

Lorelai grabbed his arm in response, stopping him and turning him towards her. With an annoyed roll of her eyes, she lunged towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck, teasing his lower lip with her teeth, tangling her tongue with his.

Stunned, it took Luke a moment to respond – none of their _encounters_ in the past few days had been so heated, so physical… It had all been when one – or both – of them was upset, and needed the other…

He was just adjusting to the transition when Lorelai pulled away, looking very matter-of-fact, "Do I taste like morning breath? Or afternoon breath?" she added, her voice nearing a slightly crazed laugh, "Or whenever the hell it was that we last slept?"

Luke shook his head in an amused chuckle. She never ceased to amaze him. "Afternoon," he called, leaving her by the gazebo as he set off again for the diner.

Lorelai's eyes went wide, "Afternoon breath?" She jogged after him, frantically wondering aloud, "Did I really not brush my teeth? Did I have horrible breath the whole time I was talking to all those people?"

"I don't know," Luke replied, fiddling with the lock on the diner's door as she caught up to him, "But that when we were sleeping last. Before the wake…" His voice faded out as the diner's door fell open, his words bringing a grim sense of reality back to their conversation.

"Right…" _The wake…_ The very place she would have had that bad breath she was wondering about… With a weary sigh, Lorelai plopped onto one of the stools at the counter as Luke began poking around for leftover pie. "I just want this all to be over, you know? With the crazy schedules…" She fiddled with some sugar packets, before tossing them away in frustration, "Seriously, I can't even pretend things are normal when I'm up all night putting together books and posters of pictures of Sookie and Jackson… Or you," she snagged the sugar packets again as she smiled over at Luke appreciatively, "trying to figure out Rory's laptop and the big scary internet, so you can get crazy cousin whoever a different train ticket. And picking up said crazy cousin at the station at two in the morning…" Lorelai paused, realizing she was on the verge of a rant that Luke would be proud of… Not that that was going to stop her. "Afternoon!" The sugar packets went flying over the edge of the counter in unintended emphasis, "God that right there – you sleeping in the middle of the day – it's just not…" She trailed off, scrunching up her face as she sought the right word, and her wayward sugar.

"Normal?" Luke offered from back in the kitchen, his voice slightly muffled as he dug pies out of the refrigerator.

"Yeah, thanks," Lorelai smirked as she rounded the counter to pick up the sugar, "Normal. I mean, I seriously don't even know if I've brushed my teeth at all in the past five days, that's how far from normal this all is…" She whirled around accusingly, having heard Luke sneak up behind her, "I did at least shower, right? Do I smell?"

Luke didn't miss a beat, peeling away the foil coverings on two pie plates as he reassured her, answering not her shower question, but the unspoken ones, "Just have to get through tomorrow."

With a soft snort, Lorelai slumped against the counter, a far-off, defeated expression quickly closing in on her tired face, "Easier said than done bucko."

Before she could get any closer to the tears he sensed were coming, Luke inched the two pies closer to her, "Peach or strawberry rhubarb?"

"Peach," Lorelai smiled thankfully at Luke, for knowing exactly what to do when… Glancing down at the pies, her nose curled in disdain as she sniffed at the second pie, "Rhubarb is just weird celery. Not pie food. Make it plain strawberry some time."

Luke just rolled his eyes in acknowledgement before re-wrapping the rejected pie and bringing it back to the refrigerator. As he came back out to the counter, he swatted Lorelai's finger, already sticky with peach goo, away from the pie tin. "Here?" He asked, reaching under the counter for a small dessert plate.

Finger still in her mouth as she sucked off the pie filling, Lorelai shook her head, wide-eyed and somber, "Home," she added, as her hand fell away from her face. Tearing her gaze from Luke's, she quickly tried to gloss over the desperate neediness that she'd just let surface once again, "We'll bring it for Rory too."

Luke let out a breath he hadn't really been aware he was holding, not for a second falling for her Rory-excuse, and grateful that he wasn't the only one feeling as he did, glad that she needed him there as much as he needed her. Not that they hadn't spent a lot of time together before… _the accident_… but, he'd spent every night in her bed since then, and he couldn't bear the thought of having to spend the night before the funeral alone in his big empty apartment above the diner. It was almost an unspoken agreement, their new routine – the two of them spending every waking hour making arrangements for the funeral, falling into her bed together when sleep became necessary, heading to the diner for food, where he could also change, and then they'd begin a new day… Lather, rinse, repeat.

He just hadn't wanted to get presumptuous…

But he hadn't, and it wasn't anyway, judging from the fact that Lorelai quickly wrapped the pie back up herself and was nudging him towards the door.

So Luke locked up, and, hand-in-hand again, they set off for Lorelai's.

Rory's car was already in the driveway when they reached the Gilmore house, so when they made their way through the front door, Lorelai wasted no time in calling out for Rory, "Hey kid," as Luke slid out of his suit jacket and she kicked off her black pumps. _Note to self, no more cross-town walking in high heels… _

"Shh," came Rory's hissed response from the living room.

Lorelai frowned in confusion as she rounded the corner out of the front foyer, "Wha?" Her face softened at the sight in front of her, "I didn't know you were bringing them here."

Rory shrugged, almost guiltily, as she continued gently rocking Martha's car seat, "I didn't really want to go to their house, you know…"

"Yeah," Lorelai nodded in understanding as she gazed at Davy, curled up face down on the seat of an armchair. She'd had to go over to Sookie's a few times to look for photo albums, and had not been the easiest thing to do…

Glancing up from Martha, Rory caught sight of Luke hanging behind Lorelai, loosening his tie and rolling up his sleeves, "Oh hey Luke," she greeted him before continuing with Lorelai, "Of course, once I did, I realized we have nothing for babies here. And I don't know what to do with them anyway. I'd never really watched kids until…" She gave a vague gesture, not sure how to encompass _everything _with one word… "You know… But they were sleeping then. Apparently in my volunteering to watch them again tonight, it just slipped my mind that they don't always sleep. Especially not him," she groused less than pleasantly at the currently innocent-appearing Davy.

Lorelai had to grin at that, recalling how absolutely ill-equipped she too had been way back when Rory was the one starting to toddle around, "So what'd you do?"

"We watched your Spongebob DVDs," Rory declared, her tone somewhere between triumphantly proud of herself for handling the situation, and shameless mocking of Lorelai for having the DVDs in the first place.

Lorelai smirked, not at all ashamed of her fascination with pineapple-dwelling kitchen cleaning paraphernalia. "Very nice," she declared approvingly, while Luke simultaneously shook his head in a combination of disapproval and disbelief, "Jeez…"

"Hey!" Lorelai whined, pouting, intending initially to yell at Luke further for insulting her DVDs. She was forced to change her plans when she was suddenly on the receiving end of a glare from Rory that, terrifyingly enough, reminded her far too much of Emily to not stop her in her tracks. She clamped a hand over her big mouth, spreading her fingers just wide enough to whisper "Sorry…"

Once Rory was satisfied that the babies had successfully tuned out Lorelai's voice and remained asleep, she turned back to her mother and Luke, "Yeah, I did actually enjoy them. Though I have to say, I'm a little disturbed by the fact your TV habits are the same as his," she pointed over to Davy with a bemused expression on her face.

"You and me both," Luke mumbled, shifting the pie to his other hand.

Lorelai chose to ignore Luke that time, instead quizzing Rory with a grin, "He watches Jon Stewart too?"

Rory and Luke shared a look of mutual exasperation at that comment. "Anyway…" Rory drawled, eager for a subject change.

Lorelai caught the cue, and took the opportunity for the requisite inquiry, given the circumstances, "You holding up ok?" she asked softly.

"I think so…" Rory sighed. That wasn't exactly the subject change she'd been hoping for… "It's just sad you know? I hadn't seen them since…" Her voice caught as her eyes grew shiny with tears, "But tonight, I was thinking, they'll never even know their parents. They're so little…"

Lorelai dropped her purse next to the phone and sat on the couch next to Rory, pulling her in a hug, "I know… But they've got aunts, and uncles, and grandparents, and cousins…" Her soothing wasn't doing much for Rory – or herself. She knew as well as anyone, extended family just wasn't the same as parents. "I don't know, kid, I don't know…"

"We brought pie," Luke chimed in awkwardly, again hoping to stave off the girls' tears. If they started crying, then the kids would probably wake up and start crying, but since Lorelai and Rory would be crying, he'd have to deal with the kids crying, which would probably make him cry out of sheer frustration and incompetence… If he wasn't crying already. He wasn't a big fan of talking about deaths of parents… So pie it was.

Rory's face brightened, as expected, at the mention of the pie, "Ok, pie later. Uh, I told Jackson's mom I'd bring them over when everything was done. You think they're back to the house by now?"

"We were pretty much the last ones, yeah," replied Lorelai, nodding in confirmation.

"Ok." Rory let out a deep breath as she surveyed the scene. Moving to lift Martha out of her seat, she explained to Lorelai over her shoulder, "They put his seat in my car, so she just has to have her thing strapped in. Can you just watch them while I bring it out?"

Lorelai smiled, reaching to take Martha from Rory, "Sure. Hey baby…" she cooed, as Martha stirred, blinking and letting out a little yawn. As Rory grabbed the vacated seat and the large diaper bag, Lorelai just sat for a moment, stroking the infant's soft little cheek. When she heard the front door slam behind Rory, she glanced around the room, at Davy, and then Luke. Pulling herself to her feet, she flapped her elbow in Davy's direction, "Luke, just bring him out for her."

Luke flinched. He should have seen that coming… He tried to shy away from Lorelai, gesturing wordlessly to the ever-important pie he was still holding.

No luck. She glared first, and followed it up with the double-team of big blue puppy dog eyes and The Pout.

Luke sighed in resignation, setting the pie down next to Lorelai's purse. He approached Davy cautiously as Lorelai looked on. Seeing the kid like that, curled up in the chair, thumb jammed into his mouth, even Luke had to melt a little. Even he had to admit his heart went out to the little guy – he knew what it was like to lose parents…

Leaning down, Luke gingerly scooped up the sleeping toddler, placing him up against his chest, head on his shoulder. Sleeping he could deal with, been there, done that…

He was halfway across the living room, following Lorelai and Martha out to the porch when he felt Davy squirm. Luke froze as Davy switched thumbs, throwing his free arm over Luke's shoulder and nestling his little strawberry-blonde head in the crook of Luke's neck. And then he stilled again. Crisis averted, Luke breathed to himself before hurrying to catch up to Lorelai.

As it turned out, she was waiting for them with Martha, lingering on the bottom step in her bare feet, peering back up into the house curiously. When they finally emerged, Lorelai bit her lip at the sight. _Another goddamned pang…_

Forcing a playful smirk on to her face, she teased Luke, "So you didn't break him either? Two for two, huh?"

Luke just gave her a withering glare as her brushed past her down the stairs as he headed over to Rory's car. He wasted no time in handing Davy over to Rory, who placed him in his seat, fastening the millions of buckles and clips as Lorelai approached with Martha.

Seeing that Rory had already successfully installed Martha's seat, Lorelai carefully placed the baby in the car, following Rory's lead with the buckles and whatnot. One little stroke of Martha's downy hair, and she closed the door as quietly as she could.

Rory did the same for Davy over on the passenger side, and pulled her keys out of her pocket at she walked over to Luke and Lorelai.

She was caught a little off guard when Lorelai pulled her in for another impromptu hug, muttering in her ear, "Careful kid, 'k?"

"Mmhmm," Rory mumbled into her mother's shoulder, "And don't eat all the pie while I'm gone."

Lorelai pulled away, mock innocence and shock gracing her features, "Moi?"

Luke chuckled at Lorelai's antics; Rory seized the opportunity to use her own puppy dog eyes on him as she yanked open her car door, "Luke, save me some?"

He grinned at her, "Will do."

"I, however, make no guarantees…" Lorelai called in a sing-song voice, though she wasn't sure if Rory had heard her over the closing of the door and starting of the car.

She had. Rory rolled down the window with a glare, "I'll be back."

And she did return quickly, less than fifteen minutes later, to the sounds of Lorelai whining in the kitchen, "Rory, is that you? Rory, get in here…"

Rory set down her keys, inching curiously towards the kitchen, "What?" She found both Luke and Lorelai seated at the table, both with their arms crossed, and the unopened pie decidedly on Luke's side of the table.

"He wouldn't let me have any until you got back," Lorelai whimpered, flailing her previously crossed arms and squirming in her seat.

"And," Luke interjected, "I told you if you whined anymore, she'd get the first piece." He held out a plate and fork to the highly amused Rory, "Rory?"

Rory accepted gleefully.

Lorelai's arms flew back across her chest in a huff, as she pouted, "Mean!"

Of course, she was back to her charming self as soon as Luke slid a plate in front of her.

They slowly made their way through the rest of the pie, with even Luke pulling his fair share of the weight, claiming at least it was a fruit pie, and not cheesecake or chocolate pudding… Their conversation started out about nothing in particular, something along the lines of finding out Rory's opinion on the celery-ish-vegetable-in-a-pie issue, but eventually drifted to rehashing of the night's events, reminiscing about old times with Sookie and Jackson, re-telling of tales they'd heard from relatives at the wake… Sookie's first attempt at baking at age 3 – lots of broken eggs on the floor… Jackson's infamous high school wrestling career…

It was somewhat healing for all of them. Though Luke hadn't exactly been a proponent of the photo boards and gushy story-telling, even he was cracking some smiles as he recalled some of the more humorous run-ins he'd had with Sookie in various kitchens over the past few years.

In time, Rory had to excuse herself for bed. She didn't say as much, but Luke and Lorelai both knew she was hoping for a good night's sleep as some sort of mental preparation for the day ahead… Probably not the worst plan in the world, they silently agreed. Plates were set in the sink, doors locked, lights turned off…

Upstairs in bed, Lorelai traced random doodles across the front of Luke's t-shirt, "That was a surprisingly good day. All things considered," she added, eyeing Luke in the dim moonlight.

"Could have been worse, yeah," Luke agreed. _Like tomorrow will be…_ Echoing his words from in the diner, he slid a hand to her hip, soothingly stroking the sliver of bare skin between her shorts and tank top, "Just have to get through tomorrow."

Lorelai's face fell, knowing he spoke the truth, though she tried to brush it off with her usual nonchalance, "Again, the downer! Did we not have this talk before? Today equals good day." Even through the darkness, Luke could make out the forced, toothy smile she flashed him.

"Ok," he acquiesced, yielding to her admirable attempts to keep the day as painless as possible.

She was quiet for so long, Luke had begun to think she'd drifted off to sleep. Just as he was debating resituating himself for his own sleeping, Lorelai whispered softly, "You know, you being here has made all of these days good-_er_ than they probably should have been."

Luke pulled her closer upon hearing that, murmuring into her neck, "So have you."

Lorelai pulled back with a smile, making sure to look him in the eye through the shadowy darkness. "Thank you," she said sincerely, "For everything."

And he kissed her.

For the first time in days, there were no tears. Just hands and lips, tongues and teeth, tangled limbs and tangled sheets.

No desperate clinginess, no fearful what-ifs lingering in the backs of their minds. They just showed each other, the best way they knew how, exactly how appreciative they were of everything the other had done, of everything the other simply _was_.

And even as they came crashing down from the heights of pleasure – the cue for Lorelai's tears, as of late – nothing. Just love.

The tears came later.

In the minutes – seconds, hours… she didn't know – after, all Lorelai could focus on was the fact that she finally had that elusive love she'd sought for so long… The kind she'd been so jealous of as she'd watched Sookie and Jackson get married while Christopher walked away from her… The kind that neither Sookie nor Jackson would ever get to experience again… She bit her lip, blinking in the dark.

Spooned up behind Lorelai, Luke was half asleep already when he felt her clutch the arm he'd had wrapped around her waist. "Luke?" Her voice shook with unshed tears, "Make me fall asleep now before I start thinking too hard and make this a not-good day."

"Uh…" Luke stuttered, tensing, not sure what he could possibly say or do… "You brushed your teeth tonight," he blurted out, "I saw you. I could taste it."

Lorelai couldn't help but burst out laughing, despite herself. "Yeah, minty fresh sex. Good stuff, huh?"

"No complaints…" _Mission accomplished…_

But she couldn't escape her thoughts completely. A few quiet moments later, "Luke…" She grabbed for his hand again.

"Don't think, don't think…" He hushed her, "Or think rhubarb. Ponder that a little more."

"Ok…" Lorelai giggled with a sniffle, "'Night"

"'Night"

And apparently it worked, both of them able to fall asleep and close the book on a good day.

The mood in the room was decidedly darker the next morning, the bright sunshine and chirping birds doing nothing to dissuade the fact that this was it. Funeral day….

Luke woke first. Or he thought he did. Lorelai was still facing away from him, but she had yet to stir, and her breathing was still deep. Sure that Lorelai was still sleeping, he carefully began to slide away from her, wanting to leave her peacefully sleeping as long as he could.

But Lorelai was wide awake. Feeling him start to get up, she quickly reached behind her, clasping his hand tightly without a word.

Eventually, they climbed out of bed, mechanically taking turns using the bathroom, dressing, halfheartedly eating bowls of cereal without even tasting them… Rory was up as well, operating in much the same mode. It all took very little effort, really, all three of them throwing on the same dreary black outfits they'd worn the night before. They made their way wordlessly to Rory's car – the one most aesthetically suited to a funeral procession. Luke drove, Rory curled up in the back seat, and Lorelai stared blankly out the window.

They were among the first to arrive at the funeral home, and Rory immediately scurried up to the caskets, having paid her respects already yesterday, and wanting to get her final farewell out of the way as quickly as possible.

Lorelai tensed when she saw Rory heading back towards the rows of seats. She was next… And she couldn't move. She couldn't do it, she couldn't go up there and just stare at them just lying there, her mind screamed. That would be it… They'd really and truly be dead. If she didn't go up there, she could still pretend, still squint from where she was standing and convince herself that the two people in the caskets just a few feet away from here weren't Sookie and Jackson. She couldn't do it. _She couldn't._

Lorelai jumped as she felt Luke's gentle touch on her arm. _She had to…_

Luke had planned on letting Lorelai go up by herself, allowing her some final alone time, but when she grasped his hand with her own cold, clammy one, he didn't ask any questions.

They approached Jackson slowly, Luke already knowing what awaited them, but well aware that Lorelai hadn't, and might not take things so well…

But with Jackson, she was fine. Lorelai carefully lowered herself to her knees in front of him, taking in the various garden tools, pictures of Davy and Martha… The same kilt he'd worn in his wedding. Tears streamed down her cheeks silently… But she was ok. She murmured her prayers and goodbyes, and turned wordlessly to Luke beside her.

She accepted the tissue he held out to her, accepted his hand as he helped her up to guide her the few shaky steps over to Sookie.

Lorelai stopped abruptly halfway there, horrified with what she saw.

Sookie's hair was curled, teased, and hairsprayed. Her makeup much too dark, lipstick a deep burgundy – fine for Lorelai, but not Sookie… She was dressed in some horrible gaudy flower print with big shoulder pads and sequins and bead…

Loud, hiccupping sobs followed as Lorelai collapsed against Luke with a wail, "Why is her hair like that? She never did her hair like that, ever. It should be in pigtails or something!"

Luke leapt into action, immediately wrapping his arms around her, trying to comfort her, quiet her, "Shh…" He glanced around nervously, apologizing with his eyes for her outburst.

But Lorelai wouldn't be contained. Her voice grew louder, more hysterical, as she fought her way out of Luke's embrace, "And her makeup? Did they _look_ at the pictures?"

"Lorelai, it's ok…" Luke reached for her again.

"No it's not!" She cried, "And they put her in some crazy dress that 80 year old grandmothers wear! She needs an apron!" She just kept yelling… And she could hear herself, and she knew she was crazy, she knew she was making a scene… But it just wasn't right – it wasn't Sookie…

Luke did his best to calm her frenzy, grabbing for her arms again, steering her down the side aisle and back towards the hallway, Rory on his heels.

Even more so as she was being dragged away, Lorelai knew she was definitely nuts, she'd completely lost it… The whispers and sympathetic stares from all the townspeople, all of whom knew Sookie's death would be hard on Lorelai – she was sure she'd just won someone a few bucks on bet of how long it would take her to break down…

She was already managing to force herself to calm down a little – wiping her face, breathing deeper, mumbling apologies to anyone they passed.

Once out of the main room, Luke smoothed her hair, his hands coming to rest on the sides of her face as he stared her in the eyes, "You alright?"

"Mom?" Rory begged, concerned, her own eyes shiny with tears at seeing her mother in such a state.

Lorelai sniffled, waving Luke and Rory away and wiping her eyes, "I'm fine. I'm fine."

"Lorel…" Luke started, knowing she certainly was _not_ fine.

"No, I'm sorry," Lorelai cut him off, embarrassed enough at her antics, and not wanting any more attention from anyone. "I'm ok. I'm fine." She wiped the last remnants of tears from her face for added emphasis, "Just gonna, uh, go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Luke and Rory shared a skeptical look.

"I'm fine," Lorelai insisted, eyes wide and determined.

Pointing towards the bathroom, Rory offered, "Do you want…"

"No, just stay here," Lorelai sighed, "I'm fine. I'll be right back."

And without another word, she was off to the bathroom as Luke and Rory were left to stare after her.

To say that Lorelai was surprised when she returned to them a few minutes later would have been a gross understatement.

"Mom, Dad…" She blinked, stunned at the sight of her parents standing alongside Rory and Luke, "What are you doing here?"

Emily responded with her patented eye-roll and condescending tone, "Lorelai, we knew them as well, of _course_ we're going to pay our respects."

"Ah yes," Richard chipped in, aloof, "Your mother and I had a function that conflicted with the wake last night, but we felt it important that we be at the funeral today."

"Gee, thanks guys," was Lorelai's response, dripping with sarcasm. Leave it to her parents to make even Sookie's funeral just another business meeting…

Though, to her credit, Emily caught the sarcasm, and rephrased, softening her tone for Lorelai's sake, "We know they were very dear friends of yours."

"Thanks…" Lorelai uttered, confused again, and a little touched at what appeared to be true sincerity from Emily.

"You're welcome Lorelai."

From then on, things progressed relatively painlessly. Relatively…

They all piled into their cars, following the funeral procession all of three or four blocks to the church. The ceremony went rather quickly, thankfully, with Luke spending much of it trying to avoid thinking too hard, choosing more often than not to distract himself by studying the intricate wood carvings of the pews, or flipping through the scattered hymnals. Richard and Emily maintained their cool, WASPy presence throughout most of the service, breaking the façade only to offer sporadic comfort to Rory, who wept unabashedly the entire time. Lorelai, oddly restrained after her emotional outburst earlier, just sat there, numb and hollow, as if in a trance.

And as hastily as everything else in the past week seemed to have moved, so did the funeral service. Before they knew it, they were back in the procession of cars, heading for the cemetery a few towns over, where Jackson's parents already owned a family plot, and would eventually be buried themselves.

There was a short graveside ceremony, attended mostly by family. A few words and a reading by a local pastor, individual roses for each family to place atop the coffins. It really was beautiful, Lorelai had to admit to herself, and it was a perfect day. Not a cloud in the sky, the slightest touch of a warm breeze, floral arrangements and landscaping alike in bloom. Fittingly peaceful…

She stood between Luke and Rory, each succeeding in maintaining their composure – it was almost over, they could begin to let go…

And as the Reverend spoke his final words, a lone bagpiper, in honor of the Melvilles' heritage, began a slow rendition of 'Amazing Grace.' He played first on the outskirts of the small crowd, then turned away, the melody softly fading out as he marched off over the slight hills and vales of the cemetery.

Wasted were the girls' efforts at keeping it together. With the poignant tune drifting away into the distance, they lost it. Though they despised bagpipes, and had thought they'd cried themselves dry already, tears were streaming down their pallid faces. Even Emily, next to Rory, dabbed with a tissue at her eyes beneath her oversized, overpriced, designer sunglasses.

Poor Luke, choking up himself, didn't even know who to play hero for. He stood frozen for a moment, unsteady and unsure. Thankfully, Richard and Emily ushered Rory away, leaving Luke alone with Lorelai.

Even then, with Lorelai facing away from him towards the graves, her arms folded tightly across her stomach as she hugged herself, her chin down against her chest while she sobbed, he didn't know whether to intrude. What would he say? What _could_ he say? Tentatively, he placed his hand on her shoulder, "You doin' ok?"

Not even turning to look at him, Lorelai lifted her chin, nodding bravely. It was a blatant lie, she knew it, he knew it. She tried to be noble, look fine, pretend it was all ok… But the tears just kept coming.

Luke stepped behind her, sliding his arms beneath hers to pull her by the waist to him. "Me either," he whispered in her ear, resting his chin on her shoulder.

Lorelai managed to snort out some semblance of a bitter laugh through her tears. _It was all so surreal…_ "This is it, you know?" she asked rhetorically after another moment of silence, "They get stuck in a hole and all of the sudden everything's supposed to go back to normal for everyone else. I find a new chef, you find somewhere else to get vegetables, and everything is hunky dory?"

Luke nodded, lifting a hand from her waist to wipe his eyes.

"It's so final," Lorelai continued with a defeated sigh, "Boom, they're dead, it's over, deal with it, move on. And now there's nothing even to do. We already did everything. We had the distractions for the past few days. Now there's nothing." Biting her lip as Luke remained silent, Lorelai's words came out in a stilted whisper, "I just… I can't leave yet."

"I know," Luke agreed numbly.

And they didn't leave, not for another few minutes anyway. As the rest of the mourners began to slowly meander their way back towards cars and limousines, Luke and Lorelai stood, holding each other in quiet contemplation as they stared at the two graves.

Lorelai's eyes eventually dried, and Luke's tight grasp on her waist loosened.

Resolving to move on, Lorelai closed her eyes and breathed deeply one last time before turning around in Luke's arms, "You ready?"

He nodded with a wan smile, "If you are."

She gave a half-grin in return, taking in his tear-streaked cheeks. Luke even laughed at she reached up to wipe his face dry, ignoring her own. So he gently returned the favor, cradling her face in his own hands.

As they began to walk away, hand in hand, towards the dispersed crowd and cars, Lorelai couldn't help but cast one last glance over her shoulder away from Luke. The graves were quickly disappearing from her sight as they rounded a small hill. Silly as it would have seemed to her at any other time, blinking back the last of her tears, Lorelai mouthed _Bye guys, we'll miss you_, in the direction of Sookie and Jackson. And despite her fairly significant lack of religious faith, she cast a teary glance up into the sunny sky, knowing that her friends would be just fine…

The next thing she knew, she and Luke were fast approaching the road where they'd parked, and Rory was walking up towards them, looking much better than she had back at the service.

Rory gave her mom the once over, hoping she was faring ok as well, before informing her cautiously, "Grandma and Grandpa are getting ready to leave. They're just going back to Hartford, so they want to say good bye."

"Ok," Lorelai was just about to follow Rory when she caught a glimpse of Colleen heading in their direction. Tugging on Luke's sleeve, she nodded in Colleen's direction, "Uh, I'll be right there, tell 'em to hang on a second Ror."

Rory nodded, having seen Colleen come into view, "Ok."

Luke stood rooted to the ground, not particularly wanting to make small talk with the elder Gilmores, but also not sure if Lorelai would want him with her or not, "Uh…"

"Stay with Rory," Lorelai directed quickly, in part due to her wanting to prove to herself that she _didn't_ always need Luke, in part due to her wanting Rory to have that same Luke-support if _she_ needed it, "In case my parents decide to ditch before I get over there. I'll be right over," she promised, reassuring him with her eyes.

Luke understood her wish to not leave the younger Lorelai alone, so he left her there as Colleen arrived, and headed over to follow Rory.

"Colleen…" Lorelai's head tilted sympathetically, "It was beautiful."

Jackson's sister smiled sincerely, looking very much relieved to have the funeral behind her, "Thanks. Lorelai, I want to thank you for all your help over the past few days…"

She'd had more to say, though perhaps because she wasn't quite sure how to say it, Lorelai took her silence as her own cue to cut in, "Oh, it's no problem," Lorelai assured her, "I was glad to…"

Not knowing how else to bring it up, Colleen but her off abruptly, "Lorelai, I need to talk to you."

"Ok…" There was no animosity in Colleen's declaration, but Lorelai was taken aback by her curtness nonetheless.

"I don't know that this is the most appropriate place or time to be doing this," Colleen admitted awkwardly, twisting a tissue in her hands and keeping her eyes downcast, "but I don't know what else to do. People are everywhere, and even after, I'm sure everyone will go back to the Inn, and you have to run the Inn…" Her gaze moving back up to meet Lorelai's, she added honestly, "And I hate lawyers offices."

Lorelai smirked at that, "Lawyers? Yeah, me too. And hell," she laughed, "Luke was married to one!"

Though she fancied herself somewhat amusing, her words elicited only a shadow of a smile from the obviously tense Colleen. Lorelai was immediately apologetic, though more confused than before, "Sorry…" She trailed off, unsure of the situation at hand, "I'm not sure where you're going with this…"

Colleen took a deep breath before launching into her explanation, trying to remain as unemotional as possible, "Obviously I've already had to go over wills and things like that, just to figure out what was supposed to happen, even for today."

"Right," Lorelai nodded, unable to argue such a fact, though still perplexed as to what it had to do with her, "Makes sense…"

"And I've talked with the lawyers they worked with when they drew up their wills," Colleen added, her voice obviously trying to lead Lorelai along.

But she still didn't get it. "Ok… Was I in them or something?" Lorelai asked, confused. "I mean, I knew I was in Sookie's before they got married, but I figured now they'd just leave stuff to each other, or the kids or something."

"That's true, they did," Colleen confirmed slowly, "Since it was both Jackson and Sookie, everything now goes into a trust fund for Martha and Davy." But she still didn't explain any further.

Still feeling something akin to what she felt when she'd made the mistake of taking calculus at business school some fifteen-odd years after leaving high school, Lorelai could only shrug her shoulders slightly, eyebrows raised in confusion, "So…"

One more deep breath for Colleen, before she spoke quickly and bluntly, "Lorelai, they wanted you to have the kids."

_Panic! Panic!_ Bright red flashing lights and warning sirens immediately went off in Lorelai's mind. Mindboggled, she literally staggered backwards, tripping over her own feet as she couldn't even begin to process the words she'd just heard uttered from Colleen's mouth.

"Whoa, whoa, what now?" she stuttered nervously after a moment of stunned silence, "I think I heard that wrong… Is this some weird joke that Sookie left for people to play on me in case this ever happened?" she demanded incredulously, "Her twisted way for her to haunt me with a joke, right?"

"That's what I thought…" Colleen muttered, in response more to Lorelai's reaction rather than her question. She was not exactly pleased that her brother hadn't thought to inform the poor woman that she was next in line for his kids… "The wills hadn't been updated since Martha was born, but they did talk with the lawyers after Davy. You can't actually will kids to someone," she informed Lorelai, her voice softening a bit, "but they made it clear they wanted you as their legal guardian."

Lorelai blinked hard, shaking her head as if she could just make the image of Colleen telling her this disappear like an Etch-a-Sketch drawing… She was still there. "Me?" she squeaked, "They never said…" She trailed off in disbelief, her heart practically pounding out of her chest… _She needed to sit down…_

"To us either," Colleen replied hurriedly, "But who actually thinks about that kind of stuff. It's never supposed to matter, right?" She shrugged good-naturedly, trying to offer any sense of ease she could to Lorelai at the moment.

It wasn't working. Shaking, Lorelai, flailed her arms behind her, searching for anything she could sit on, lean on… Breathing, breathing – it wasn't happening! Danger Will Robinson, she couldn't breathe… Her left hand encountered something hard, firm, and she wasted no time in resting her full weight on it, "Right…" Trying to process, she glanced down blankly at what she'd chosen as her support. "Jesus!" She jumped up, leaping away from the headstone, apparently having forgotten they were in a cemetery and most things of sitting height were not really meant for sitting…

Reaching out an arm to help Lorelai steady herself, Colleen apologized, "I'm sorry to throw this on you now…" She did feel horrible, seeing Lorelai in the state she was in… "But this is why I didn't want to do it with a million people around. There's gonna have to be legal custody proceedings no matter what, but we need to know your stance," she added reluctantly.

Her stance… Her _stance_? "Oh, I, uh, God…" _Must sit…_ Lorelai grabbed for Colleen's hand, needing a little help as she lowered herself to sit on the ground. It was bad enough having this thrown at her, but now she was expected to _do_ something? She had to _act_ on it? She was supposed to have an _opinion_ on it? _How could she…_ Holy… Holy… She couldn't even think! Holy _not prepared for any of this_, Batman…

"You're their _family_," Lorelai stated timidly when she finally regained the capacity for multi-syllabic words, "Why would I…"

"Lorelai, we're not blaming you," Colleen insisted as she sat down beside Lorelai, taking both her hands in her own, "We're not upset they wanted you. It makes sense, when you hear what their lawyer said they wanted for them. We just want to know what you think… We figured you didn't know, since you hadn't brought it up," She took in Lorelai's glassy-eyed blank stare into space, "I guess we were right…"

Lorelai didn't even hear most of Colleen's words… "_How_ does it make _sense_?" she cried, her voice involuntarily jumping up an octave.

"You _know_ Sookie had no close family to take them," urged Colleen, trying to calm Lorelai, "Jackson was the youngest – our parents are almost 80. They can't raise a newborn. Beau?" she scoffed, "Single male, not going to happen. Erin? She's single too, and there's no way her history with alcohol would ever work with kids. That leaves me. Let's be honest here," she spoke frankly at Lorelai, "I'll be 50 next year. All but one of my kids are already in college. My husband was laid off three months ago and prospects are pretty grim for anything else."

"I'm single too!" Lorelai protested, though she couldn't really argue with Colleen's facts, "And _my_ kid is in college!"

Colleen pulled up a few blades of grass, toying with them, wondering if she had gone about this the wrong way… But, in fairness to all involved, all she could do was be honest, "Look, Lorelai, I was skeptical at first too," she admitted reluctantly. "But they _weren't_ wrong. You're not even 40, you've got a successful business with a steady income, and you live in Stars Hollow. They _wanted_ their kids to be raised there," she insisted, "They _love_ that town, they love _you_. And they knew you've already raised a great kid." Colleen paused before adding, as an afterthought, "Rory has been amazing this week, please thank her for me if I don't see her again."

"Sure…" Lorelai mumbled. Sure, she could thank Rory. Rory was her kid. The one she was _supposed_ to have to deal with… Lifting her eyes to meet Colleen's for the first time since the bomb had been dropped, her face the picture of emotional turmoil and distress, Lorelai shook her head weakly, "I don't know what to do here…"

"You're not obligated to do anything, you know," Colleen pointed out gently, offering the out that perhaps Lorelai needed. "No, they're not biologically your responsibility. We'll figure it out if you say no." Glancing around for her own family, Colleen pulled herself to her feet, brushing away bits of grass from her dress before she spoke again. "You've got time. I'll be around for a while packing up the house anyway. Just…" she trailed off, trying to size up Lorelai as she remained stone-still on the ground. "I mean, think about it. I know it's huge, but…" She paused momentarily, before finishing softly, "They picked you."

All Lorelai could do was nod dumbly from her seat on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest and looking to all the world more like a lost, scared little girl than a mother to anyone.

Colleen let out a quick sigh. She'd done all she could… It would sort itself out at some point, right? Though she couldn't be sure if Lorelai was actually listening, she spoke one last time before leaving her there, "I think we're going to head back now. We'll see you at the Inn at some point?"

Lorelai simply nodded again.

With that, Colleen reluctantly left Lorelai sitting there, going back to join her own family near the limousines.

Lorelai, on the other hand, remained frozen on the ground, rocking herself ever so slightly back and forth as her mind raced.

She had no idea how long she sat there, though based on Emily's reaction when she finally did manage to meander over to her family in a daze, it was a while.

"Lorelai, it's incredibly rude to keep people wait…" Emily began, but uncharacteristically let her voice die out as she took in the peculiar expression on her daughter's face. "Lorelai?"

As if in a trance, Lorelai held up a single index finger to quiet her mother, all the while not letting her gaze drift from her father. She spoke up after a moment, her voice cracking slightly, "Dad?"

"Lorelai?" Richard echoed Lorelai's tone, wondering, as were Luke, Rory, and Emily, as to the reason for Lorelai's suddenly odd behavior.

"Do you know any good lawyers?" Lorelai asked, her voice unexpectedly curiously normal, "Family lawyers? Do they even have those?" she wondered aloud, "Like on 'Law and Order'?" Her voice grew louder as she continued, escalating in its crazed, giddy timbre with each word. "Or family law people? Or family counselors? Oh, god, I don't even know who the hell I need…" she laughed hysterically at herself, "Social workers? Custody people maybe?" Lorelai finished suddenly, sounding – and looking – practically insane, judging by the confused, concerned expressions on the faces of those around her.

Glancing around for any guidance from the others, and finding none, Richard spoke first, as technically, it had been him at which the questioning had been directed, "Lorelai, what are you talking about?"

"Well," Lorelai began slowly, plastering a wide, patronizing smile on her face, "Here's the thing. Seems that Colleen, Jackson's sister," she explained to Richard and Emily, "Has been dealing with all the lawyer stuff, and the wills. And they left me some things…" She trailed off, folding her shaking hands dramatically in front of her chest.

No one knew quite how to take her words at first. Though it wasn't long before a dubious expression slowly washed over Rory's face as she began mentally connecting the dots. Eyeing Lorelai, she asked warily, drawing out the words, "What things?"

"Yeah…" Lorelai nodded emphatically and trailed off, as if she was planning on pondering how best to put her news. But she didn't ponder. She just spat it out: "Martha and Davy."

**To be continued…**


	4. Chapter 4

**In a Flash**

**See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.**

**First off, apologies for taking so long. Time just got away from me since I _was_ actually working on the story, just not this particular part. I got ideas for future chapters and ran with them… Hopefully this chapter doesn't appear too neglected.**

**In any case, another sincere thank you to everyone who has left me reviews so far – your kind words are amazing, and it thrills me that people are enjoying my story so much. I mean, I _am_ writing it for you guys. If people weren't reading, I wouldn't be writing – _I_ already know what happens, lol, so I'm not writing for me! So thanks a bunch.**

**Oh, and let me know about length/wordiness on this chapter? For some reason it got super-long without much actually happening… Bad? Good? I can't tell…**

**Next… Well, apparently I'm more transparent than Saran Wrap. Oh well. I knew it wouldn't exactly be brain surgery to read between the lines and figure out that Lorelai would on the short-list to be an instant mom. But hopefully I can keep up the interest anyway – I've got some tricks up my sleeve that will hopefully make up for it…**

**Also, something that crossed my mind as I was sketching out some future dialogue – the Gilmores are very opinionated and sometimes less than PC on the show, be it about music, clothes, social issues, names, politics, whatever. So that's how I'm always going to write them. What I have them say as characters in my stories may or may not reflect my own opinions, but I just wanted to let you all know I'm not out to offend anybody with anything I write. Just take whatever it is with a grain of salt and focus on the big picture. It's all about trying to keep them in character :)**

For a split second, Lorelai's words hung in the balmy air of the late spring afternoon, as tangible an entity as the car next to them, or the tree a few yards beyond. As she stood there, still in her dumbfounded daze, she swore she could see Martha and Davy's names neatly printed in one of those cartoon-y word bubbles hovering in front of her.

Until the bubble burst.

Emily's reaction came first, her shrill refutation of Lorelai's claims ringing out over the gentle hills of the cemetery louder than a banshee, "You can't be serious!"

Rory, hardly believing that she could have possibly been right in her mental-dot-connecting, breathed a hushed "Oh my God…", her face frozen in an expression of stunned shock.

And as if he didn't quite grasp the reality of the notion Lorelai had just put forth, Richard eyed his daughter disapprovingly over the rim of his glasses and reprimanded her for what was surely one of her silly 'jokes' that he never seemed to understand, "Lorelai, this is hardly the time for such foolishness."

Lorelai shrugged, the gesture acting in part as explanation, as apology, and an indicator of the lingering stupor that still dictated her every action. "Colleen just told me," she added simply, not really caring at that point how anyone else took her words. All she cared about was trying to process herself…

As the reality of the words sank in for Rory, as much of a shock as they were, she knew that the blow would have been exponentially harder for Lorelai. She rushed to her mother's side, immediately setting out to offer any words of comfort or support she could, given that she was also having a little trouble standing for the time being, "Mom…"

But as usual, Emily also threw her unsolicited two cents in, cutting Rory off. "Well you certainly can't take them Lorelai," she declared, head held high, lips primly pursed between sentences. Emily quickly finished her diatribe in a huff, appearing utterly annoyed that such a preposterous notion dared to take up valuable time in her daily routine, "It's highly inappropriate. Not to mention _completely_ irresponsible."

Lorelai remained wordless, apparently unaffected by even Emily's words. Which unnerved Rory more than anything; her mom always matched her grandmother, biting word for biting word. "Mom, are you ok?" she begged softly.

"I'm fine," Lorelai asserted flatly, though her wavering voice betrayed her to everyone. Emily included.

Until that shaky reply from her daughter, Emily had assumed the absurd conversation would end then and there, cut and dry, just a bit of nonsense. She'd even begun a turn towards the car in an attempt to get back to her original plan of departing the cemetery. But that one little utterance had her whirling back around. A quick once over of Lorelai told her immediately that this was not shaping to be an open-and-shut case. Horrified, she let out another incredulous screech, "You're not actually _thinking_ about this are you? So help me Lorelai…"

Before the attack could go any further, Richard found the sense to intervene, quieting Emily and diplomatically rearticulating her outburst. "Surely a family member would be better suited to caring for the children, Lorelai," he chided, more than a hint of patronization tainting his words.

Lorelai shrugged yet again, almost apologetically, as she remained unconvincing in any attempts to appear as if she had any idea what the hell she was supposed to be feeling.

Which was still not lost on Emily. "Lorelai! This is insane!" she shrieked.

"Grandma…" Rory jumped in, trying valiantly to calm things down and give Lorelai a little breathing room.

Her efforts were in vain, as Emily tossed yet another punch, "You can't possibly take on two infants!"

"I know!" Lorelai exploded, finally having reached her limit. Did no one else realize that she could scarcely keep herself standing? Did her parents seriously not realize how huge this was? That she couldn't even breathe, never mind rationalize or process anything that had taken place over the past fifteen minutes? Or the past week, for that matter? "I don't know… I don't know…" she whimpered, any resolve she may have had momentarily fading as quickly as it had appeared. Burying her face in her hands, she wailed one final reluctant admission, "I don't know _what_ I'm doing…"

The rest of the group fell silent. Lorelai took the opportunity to try and compose herself. Taking a few deep breaths, she raised her head back up, forcing a bright smile. "I need to go home," she declared with false amiability, determined not to let Emily get to her any more than she already had. Spinning around purposefully, she addressed Luke and Rory curtly, "You guys ready?"

Luke, blown away by the scene as it unfolded before him and floored by the initial statement that had begotten it, had found it far easier to remain silent on the sidelines up to that point. With the spotlight suddenly on him, he was able to stammer only an oh-so eloquent, "Um…"

"Lorelai!" Emily admonished, unwilling to allow things to be left in such a manner.

"Mom, please," Lorelai pleaded, "I, I just… I need to think. Or not think," she corrected, the hint of hysteria from a few moments ago creeping back into her voice. "I don't know. I… We're going home, ok? I'll," she faltered, not really knowing what she could say – she didn't know what was going to happen once she walked away from that very spot and went on with her life… "I'll see you Friday." And she turned to leave.

She hadn't even taken a second step when she froze, realizing that, however unfortunately, she couldn't end things there. Purposely not turning back around to face him, lest he see the pains it took to ask a favor of him, Lorelai addressed her father haltingly, "Dad, if I need… some legal-type person… can I call you?"

Brow furrowed as he spoke, Richard replied slowly, "Well, I suppose…."

"Richard!" Emily gasped.

Facing her parents once again, Lorelai sent her mother a withering glare before thanking her father sincerely, "That's great dad, thanks." Grateful for the connection to legal advice, her second departing speech was tailored to be slightly more polite than the first, "I appreciate you guys coming here today, we'll see you for dinner on Friday. We're heading out." And with that, she took off towards Rory's car.

Rory scampered after her, still trying to figure out the necessary amount of damage control, "Mom?"

But at that point, already one verbal explosion behind her, Lorelai was working with a short fuse. "Rory," she snapped, whirling around to face her daughter, "Home now." Luke of course, bless his quiet loner heart, still hadn't said anything to incense her, so the demand she directed at him, while still a demand, managed to disguise itself as a soft question, "Luke?"

Luke, his mind reeling as it was, still knew enough not to argue with Lorelai in such a state. He mumbled a quick, "I'm comin'…" and jogged off after her.

Once Rory and Luke caught up to Lorelai at the car, they found her yanking frantically at the handle of the locked back door. "Can we open this please?" she cried, sounding more and more distraught.

"Mom, why?" Rory approached cautiously, gesturing to the back seat that Lorelai seemed to desperate to occupy. Her mother never sat in the back seat…

"Just sit up there," Lorelai ordered, waving Rory away to the front seat, "I need to think…"

"You can't just…" Rory protested, only to find herself faced with the slam of the back door. Luke had unlocked the car… But she was unwilling to let things remain where they stood. Dashing around to the driver's side of the car, she nudged Luke, urging him to just get in and drive, before she jumped into the back seat as well, addressing Lorelai sternly as Luke obliged and began the trek back to Stars Hollow. "Mom, talk to me!"

Cursing herself for not re-locking the other back door, Lorelai shifted away from Rory's prying eyes, pressing her forehead against the cool glass of the window. "Rory, please…" came her plaintive plea for a little peace and quiet.

But Rory babbled on, "Are you thinking of taking them? Are you gonna take them? What about Colleen, or Jackson's mom and dad?" For all her efforts to try and ward off Emily and Richard's comments, she'd stepped right into their role, demanding answers Lorelai was no where near ready to give.

"They're old," was Lorelai's stilted attempt at appeasing Rory.

"What?" Rory asked, the 'they' of Lorelai's words a little unclear. "Who?"

When she got no response, she tried again, "Mom?"

"Sookie wanted me," Lorelai whispered, though it may have been more a realization for here than a response to any of Rory's questions.

Taken aback by the apparent intimation in Lorelai's last statement, Rory's face contorted into soft confusion, "You're gonna do it?"

"I don't know…" Lorelai trailed off weakly, her resolve crumbling, "I think I have to…"

Until those words crossed Lorelai's lips, Luke had been trying to force himself to concentrate on traffic, driving, exits, anything but what was going to happen with Lorelai and those kids. But her quiet admission was something he couldn't ignore. His gaze darted up to the rearview mirror, searching out Lorelai's eyes for some sort of silent explanation. But it was no use. She remained focused somewhere out the window.

Only when Rory put forward a gentle, "I'll help. If you do…" did Lorelai turn to face the car's interior. And even then, it wasn't to look at Luke.

Lorelai rolled her eyes in Rory's direction before turning back to the window. She was getting way ahead of herself… "Rory, please…" she tried again, really just wanting quiet, if for nothing else to ease the pounding headache that was setting in.

But by that point, Rory was beyond simple offers of support. Her brain had gone into investigative reporter mode, any thought that crossed her mind flying out of her mouth in a verbal barrage of questions to Lorelai, "Where would they go? We only have two bedrooms. Would you move to Sookie's house? And Martha's only a month old! You'll have them until they're at least _eighteen_. We couldn't even pay for _me_ for school…"

Stung by the insinuation Rory's last statement held, Lorelai tore her eyes from the trees at the side of the road long enough to send a menacing glare across the seat of the car. "_So_ not the time," she warned harshly.

"Sorry…" Rory reluctantly apologized, knowing she'd crossed a line. Not that her questions were over by any means… "But what about work? You've got the whole Dragonfly to run, especially now without…"

That's when Lorelai hit the breaking point. She was emotionally maxed out. Fists clenched, eyes squeezed shut, she let it rip, "God, stop!"

The shriek took Luke by surprise; he barely caught himself before slamming on the brakes out of reflex.

And Rory, having been yelled at in such a strong manner fewer times in her life than she had fingers on her left hand, shrank as far away from Lorelai as she possibly could in the tiny car.

No one spoke a word for the remainder of the drive.

When they finally reached the Gilmore driveway, Luke parked behind the Jeep, and the three just sat there.

It was Rory who broke first, muttering something about the bathroom as she climbed out of the car to head inside.

And then there were two.

Luke could certainly tell that Lorelai, lost in her thoughts, hadn't even really noticed that she was home, and would probably not be making a move to get out of the car any time soon. So he pocketed the keys, made sure her door was unlocked, got out, and made his way to the door she'd plastered herself up against.

With a soft knock on the window to tear her from her gaze, Luke carefully pulled the door open slowly.

Now, he'd been expecting to have to help her up from her seat, possibly even carry her into the house. He hadn't expected her to suddenly spring to life, launching at him, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face against his shoulder.

Not that he was complaining.

She clung to him, just standing there in the driveway for longer than either of them knew. Luke stroked her hair, rubbed her back soothingly; she breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of him as she tried to will away the craziness in her head.

At some point, Luke was feeling brave, and whispered in her ear, "You ok?"

He got a muffled, "Mmmmph" in return from somewhere in the depths of his suit jacket.

"Lorelai…" he began again cautiously, pulling away from her just enough to coax her to look him in the eye.

Lorelai knew immediately where he was going with that 'Lorelai.' And she wanted to talk to him, she really did. "Luke…" But she just couldn't talk yet. "You were _in_ the car, right?" she asked, gesturing behind her with disdain, "I can't do this now… I can't even think…"

Luke acquiesced, nodding silently as he pulled her back to him and continued to rub her back. _He_ wanted to talk things over, but he knew pushing her any further would only serve to get her angry with him as well.

And as suddenly as she'd come back to life, leaping out of the car, Lorelai clammed back up. Luke literally felt her stiffen in his arms, and she pulled away not long after. Without even making eye contact, she stammered out a hollow, "I'm gonna… I'm just gonna go lie down…"

"Oh." Hard as he tried, Luke couldn't hide the hurt in his voice at her rejection. "I'll go…" he choked out, floundering for some sort of excuse, "…check on the diner…"

"'K…" Lorelai's face crumpled when she heard poor Luke's pained words. She never mean for him to feel pushed away. Stiff, confused, and detached as she was feeling at the moment, she knew she had to throw him some sort of rope… "Come back later?" she managed to force out.

That caught Luke off guard, "Uh, yeah, sure." Did she want him there or not? He had no idea, but being in no position to say no, he agreed tentatively, "I'll come back later…" He got no further reaction from Lorelai, so, dismayed, he turned away, beginning his lonely walk to the diner.

Lorelai felt a tug in her chest watching his retreating form – she wasn't doing a very good job at keeping herself together _or_ in easing Luke's obvious uncertainty. Pushing thoughts of Sookie and Jackson, Davy and Martha from her mind as best she could, she mustered up the little bit of determination that she could and dashed across the lawn after him. She grabbed his hand impetuously and pulled him in for a kiss, the only thing she could think to do to somehow reassure him that, messed up as she was at the moment, she still needed him no matter what.

When they finally parted, she gazed up at him wide-eyed, "See you later?"

Though he still felt uneasy about leaving her, Luke nodded resolutely, "You got it."

And that was that, Luke walked away towards the diner, Lorelai trudged upstairs to her room. She had no idea what time it was – it was still light out, that was all she knew – but she kicked off her heels and collapsed onto the bed anyway.

As she lay there, staring up at that one pesky crack in the ceiling, Colleen's words echoed over and over in her head…

Lorelai, they wanted _you_ to have the kids…

Lorelai, they wanted you to have the _kids_…

Lorelai, they _wanted_ you to have the kids…

And those words were what lulled her to sleep.

When Luke returned a few hours later – a few tortuous hours of pacing around the diner and his apartment, wondering exactly when Lorelai had meant 'later' to be – the house was quiet. A dim glow from Rory's window told him she was probably in bed reading, but the still darkness of the rest of the house left him wondering about Lorelai. Letting himself in, he squinted in the low light. She wasn't in the kitchen… She wasn't on the couch…

He crept up the stairs to her bedroom, trying to make enough noise so as to not sneak up on her if she was awake, but trying to keep quiet enough that he wouldn't rouse her if she'd managed to fall asleep.

As it turned out, it was door number two. His eyes having adjusted to the dark, Luke could just make out her slumbering form in the dim moonlight. Lorelai lay sprawled out atop the covers, still fully clothed in her funeral garb.

Of course he'd hoped that she'd have been awake so they could at least begin to discuss… everything… But he was glad to at least see her getting the peaceful sleep she certainly needed after the past few days.

Shedding his shoes and jeans, he slipped carefully into bed next to her, folding the top blanket over her. With a soft kiss pressed to her temple, Luke settled down to sleep.

They could talk tomorrow.

Unfortunately, tomorrow didn't go exactly as planned. Luke woke early, knowing he had to get back to the diner, back to his regular schedule. He'd had to rely on Cesar quite a bit more than he'd have liked in the past few days, and it wasn't fair to him if Luke didn't open when he was perfectly capable of doing so.

But of course, despite her early bedtime the night before, Lorelai was still dead to the world, and he didn't have the heart to wake her. So he did the only think he knew to do. Yet another gentle kiss pressed to her forehead, the coffee pot full and ready to brew at a moment's notice, even a plateful of pancakes and bacon awaiting her in the microwave.

He even fed Rory, who he ran into down in the kitchen, sending her on her way back to her job at the paper fully caffeinated. Though she was running late, meaning she didn't have the time to attack Luke with the full-blown torrent of questions Lorelai had had to face in the car the day before, there were a few awkward moments when Rory had tried to finagle out of him his stance on 'getting the kids.'

Luke had stammered, Luke had stuttered, Luke had evaded. He'd filled her travel mug with coffee and not-so-subtly reminded her she was going to be late for work. Luckily, his tactics were largely successful and he'd been able to evade having to share his feelings with Rory before even speaking to Lorelai, but even Luke couldn't avoid the mess of questions and emotions that Rory's prodding had stirred up in him again.

He had to sit down with Lorelai and talk to her.

But he also had to get to work…

Reluctantly, he scribbled a quick note to Lorelai, informing her of the breakfast in the microwave and instructing her to come find him at the diner as soon as she was ready.

Tossing the note on the kitchen table, he cast one last longing glance up the stairs towards Lorelai's room, and exited the house.

* * *

Upstairs, Lorelai craned her neck in bed, lying perfectly still as she waited for those tell-tale clomps of Luke's heavy boots down the porch steps. Guilt had begun to creep in even before she heard Luke leave. How could she just ignore him like that? The last time she'd feigned sleep out of avoidance, other than when Rory was trying to get her up at some ungodly hour of the morning, was probably somewhere around the age of 13, when she still thought she could somehow sleep her way through stuffy family obligations.

She hadn't _intended _to avoid Luke… It just… happened.

What else was she supposed to do? Seeing Luke or Rory would mean talking about… well, about everything. And she honestly had no clue what she would say.

How could she take on two kids? Hell, not even two kids – two babies. A newborn. And Davy wasn't even twenty months. How? _How_?

It was the same question that had haunted her all night. In sleep, or when she'd awakened in a cold sweat, it was still there…

Lorelai's mind had been running in circles, chasing its own tail and getting absolutely nowhere, since Colleen's words had first sunk in back in the cemetery.

Take the kids? Hell, she'd had a meltdown last month when she thought she was going to be stuck with another _one_ of her _own_. But_ two_? That weren't even hers? Babysitting she could do. And all other things temporary.

Taking Martie and Davy was so huge. And _permanent_…

And Rory hadn't been wrong in the car yesterday – she had no room for a little boy and girl in her house, even if she kicked Rory out of her room. And Davy – what the hell did you do to raise a boy? And the Inn was still new… Sure it pulled in enough for her to get by, and to help Rory out a little, but kids were expensive. Diapers, doctor visits, school, college…

"Guh," she moaned, pulling a pillow over her face. Vicious cycle. She always ended up in the same spot, driving herself crazy about coming up with the funds for the kids' college tuition when she hadn't even managed to figure out the next five minutes of her _own_ life…

_Breakfast_, she decided as she cast the pillow off to the side and pulled herself to a sitting position. _And coffee…_ Coffee would help clear her head.

Or so she'd managed to convince herself.

In practice, not so much.

Focusing on the promise of coffee had successfully gotten her out of bed, down the stairs, and into the kitchen without dwelling on the Martha/Davy situation. And the note from Luke… Another worthy distraction - his sweet little gesture of leaving her pancakes for breakfast had her grinning to herself, yet again, at how amazing Luke had been over the past few days.

But as Lorelai stood in front of the microwave, waiting for her breakfast to heat up and nothing but the tortuous countdown of little green numbers for her to focus on, everything came flooding back. Sure, it started with a little trickle – _hadn't Sookie still been breast-feeding part-time? How's _that_ gonna work? _– but the deluge still hit as she sat down at the kitchen table. The same questions, the same uncertainty, the same vicious cycle, the same _What the hell do I do?_

At some point, she'd worked herself up into so much of a frenzy, the few bites of re-heated pancake that she'd already managed to choke down were threatening to find their way back up. Tearing herself from her thoughts, Lorelai eyed the congealing syrup and let out a sickened groan. She shoved the plate away.

Eyes squeezed tightly closed, hands clasped over her stomach, she was moderately successful in overcoming the ordeal of the nerves-slash-nasty old pancakes combo. But nothing was helping to ease her mind.

How could she take the kids?

_How_ could she take the kids?

It was an unwanted mantra, forcing its way through her thoughts endlessly, and she had no idea how to deal with it. She could honestly say, in all of her thirty-seven years, she'd never once thought she was crazy.

Well, ok, sure, she'd thought she was crazy. And so did everyone else. But not _crazy._

Now she was beginning to wonder.

Seriously, how many times could two phrases, or permutations of two phrases, run through her mind before she started banging her head against a wall and pulling her hair out?

What the fuck was she supposed to do here?

How could she take those kids?

What the _hell _was she supposed to do?

How on…

"Oh God," Lorelai yelped quietly, cutting off her own train of thought. "Oh God," she panted. She was literally panting. She couldn't catch her breath. And hand to her chest confirmed that her heart was racing as well…

_It doesn't matter if I take them…_ Lorelai realized in her anxiety-stricken stupor, _I'm having a fucking heart attack right now. I'm gonna kick the bucket too, and someone else'll have to take them… I'm insane, I'm going insane…_

She did retain enough coherence, however, to know that she wasn't going insane. Or at least not yet. She also knew that if she didn't force herself to somehow get a grip, she probably _would_ go insane…

Clenching her hands into fists, she forced herself to breathe deeply. Calm Lorelai, _breathe_ Lorelai…

Baby steps, she told herself, baby steps when dealing with the babies. And first things first…

So Sookie and Jackson wanted her to take the kids. Fine. That was their prerogative. But wasn't it also hers to say no? Could she really, honestly, deal with two little kids anyway?

She'd barely managed with one kid way back when, and that was perfect little Rory, the kid who could do no wrong. Rory had made it easy. And it was all so long ago anyway… Lorelai was so far removed from the baby lifestyle, it had really been difficult trying to figure out the whole diaper issue again the first time she'd watched Davy after he'd been born.

She didn't want more kids – not her own, not anyone else's. Right?

Lorelai was desperately trying to convince herself, but was fighting a losing battle…

If she was going to be honest with herself, yes, it was true – she'd entertained the possibility of more kids from time to time… For all the panicked denial only a month ago when the thought of an impending pregnancy was terror-inducing, it was only the timing that had scared her. Somewhere in the back of her flighty, over-caffeinated mind, there was always that nagging desire for the whole package.

Even as she heard herself think those words, Lorelai cringed. She almost hated herself for wanting that, for succumbing to all those silly societal expectations for a female, like Rory had written about for some paper or another at some point. For so many years, everything was independence. Super Mom, Super Lorelai. And only Lorelai. Well, and Rory. But technically she was Lorelai too, in more ways than one. She was different. And she wasn't a guy. For twenty years Lorelai had prided herself on being able to get along just fine, no guys, just Rory.

But then every once in a while… Certain things… The whole Max fiasco. Chris getting Sherry pregnant and running off to be by her side.

Yeah, that was a big one, she sighed as she abandoned the pancakes for good. Wandering aimlessly towards the living room, she pulled her arms tight around her chest, recalling that talk in the diner once upon a time. That Chris/Sherry deal had been one of the first times she'd ever allowed herself to admit that she did want the whole package. And not even just to herself, to_ Luke_ no less. That's karma for ya there, braindanger, Lorelai chastised herself silently.

But she _did_ still want it. Maybe not now, not when things with Luke had been so shaky, but her biological clock still had a few years left, no? Enough at least to drag Luke, kicking and screaming, if need be, out of jam hands mode, towards some sort of discussion, and get him to at least think about more?

But that was before. Now… Now the stakes were completely different. But Luke still had to be a big consideration here, didn't he? Never mind what he would be to those kids, but what he was going to end up being to her. If he didn't stick around for her, what he was to Davy and Martha would really be irrelevant… He'd be ok with them, right? In some capacity? He _had_ been downright adorable with the babies over the past few days… And even those kids from 'Fiddler on the Roof'…

But what about with _her_ with the kids?

What if she _did_ say yes?

What if?

Spying some of Rory's baby pictures scattered on the mantle as she headed across the room, Lorelai knew she was attacking this decision the wrong way. She couldn't let it be all about panicking, how to pay for this, how to handle future broken limbs…

It had to be more than that – there was more than that to _any _kids. She'd struggled through with Rory, and did she remember the individual times when she'd been a little late in covering the phone bill? No. She remembered the jokes, the laughs, the trips to the circus that ended with the poor kid puking all over the place…

Gently tracing Rory's chubby little face and pumpkin costume, Lorelai's face softened into a wistful half-smile. She remembered all the Halloweens, all the Christmases, all the ill-fated attempts to hard-boil eggs for Easter… She remembered all the good stuff. She remembered all of the little things with Rory that Sookie and Jackson would never get to have with their kids…

Overwhelmed at such a depressing thought, Lorelai felt her eyes well up, her view of little pumpkin Rory fading quickly into a teary orange blur.

And before she could stop the emotional tidal wave from washing over her, she found herself over at the closet near the door, shoving aside Max boxes and Dean boxes and Jess boxes and Jason boxes as the tears streaked down her cheeks. It took a few minutes, but she eventually found what she was looking for, yanking out a large carton full of albums, smaller boxes, mementos, and stray photos.

A Rory and Lorelai box.

Amidst everything else going on, she knew she could at least take comfort in the memories in that carton…

Making her way to the couch, she flopped down, unceremoniously dumping the contents of the box out on the cushion next to her. The little t-shirt onesie and mix tape she'd showed Sookie once upon a time… The elaborate, and largely empty, baby book that had been a gift from her parents for Rory… The notebook with bright purple pages full of her scribbles that she'd _actually_ used as a baby book for Rory… An old pacifier, the rubber now hard and cracked… The tiny little bracelet Rory had worn in the hospital nursery… Rory's New Kids on the Block lunchbox… Scores of pictures, some of which were even stashed _in_ the lunchbox...

Pulling a stack of them from the ghastly neon green plastic box, Lorelai smiled as she began flipping through the photos. Most were ones she'd taken, with just Rory, or Rory and an adorable little Lane, grinning back up at her. There were also a few of her, either from when Rory had usurped her camera or the Rory's own ill-fated photographer phase – blurry shots of Lorelai, minus her left side or top half of her head, pictures of Rory's books… Mia must have also taken quite a few, as a number of them displayed the two Lorelais together, smiling brightly, matching blue eyes sparkling.

Lorelai almost laughed aloud when she reached one particular one – her and a five- or six-year-old Rory, decked out in full-on oversized tie-dye t-shirts tied in knots at their waists, leggings, neon slouch socks, clunky high top sneakers, and gigantic scrunchies holding ponytails at awkward angles high atop their heads. No, no, not another Halloween… That was just Rory, thinking it was the coolest thing in the world to look just like Mommy. If only she'd known how _not_-cool Mommy had really looked, Lorelai smirked to herself.

She quickly scanned through the next few pictures, hoping to find another fashion disaster that _didn't_ include her, one she could mock Rory for endlessly without incriminating herself as well.

_Wait…_ She paused suddenly, something catching her eye, but not sure she'd actually seen what she thought she had… Flipping back a few pictures, she zeroed in on a shot of Rory with Christopher, tilting her head contemplatively. It posed an age combination she didn't often come across in pictures of Rory with her father. The few she had, it was either a tiny little infant Rory with a seventeen-year-old Chris looking exceedingly uncomfortable around her, or something from just the past five years or so, Rory looking pretty much as she did now, give or take a few inches on the hair style.

But this one… This was that one Christmas that she couldn't place exactly… Rory had been maybe seven or eight, and Christopher had unexpectedly shown up for apple tarts with the Gilmore clan. It had definitely been a first for him, showing up out of the blue from California to share a holiday 'with his girls,' as he'd put it so charmingly way back then. To say that Lorelai had been floored and annoyed beyond belief by his waltzing back into their lives as if everything had always been peachy-keen was an understatement. But that wasn't what she remembered most about that Christmas. What she recalled best was captured perfectly by the snapshot she now held.

Rory, all dolled up in some green velvet and lace deal, complete with shiny patent leather mary janes – all Emily's present to Rory that day, was half curled up on one of the settees in the living room. Christopher, looking to all the world like he was just a doting dad, squatted next to her, sporting a wide smile. Rory, angel that she was, appeared desperately trying to look happy, but a couple other tell-tale signs in the photo told otherwise. Lying abandoned on the end table behind Chris was a Barbie. Still securely in her hot pink box, it was the gift that Christopher had been sure little Rory would just adore… In Rory's lap, however, was some paperback book, her pudgy finger patiently wedged inside to hold her place as she ruefully suffered through the photo-taking that had so rudely distracted her from her reading.

Oh yes, Lorelai remembered that Christmas. That had been the year that had found Rory plowing her way through the endless shelves of "Sweet Valley Twins" and "The Baby-Sitters' Club" at the Stars Hollow bookstores. Funds were low, so she hadn't owned many herself, but Mia had kept a few on hand at the Inn, and the library had a small collection. Which took Rory all of a month to get through. So all she'd asked Santa for that year was for those stupid books. The new ones, the old ones, anything to fill the holes in her collection. And Lorelai had come through – with a little bonus from Mia, she'd been able to at least get the newest few books in each series, one of which was probably the book Rory was already halfway through in the picture.

And then Christopher had waltzed in with that goddamned Barbie.

Never, never over the course of Rory's short life to that point, had Lorelai felt more validated in her decisions than she had that Christmas. The velvet wasn't Rory, the Barbie wasn't Rory, the fancy silk couch wasn't Rory, Hartford wasn't Rory – Emily, Christopher, and Richard were not _Rory_.

And now, more than a decade later, those same feelings were hitting home again. Since she'd seen that little pink line in the girls' bathroom in tenth grade, every decision she'd made since then, she'd forced herself to think of the baby's best interests. Rory's interests. Not getting an abortion, not marrying Christopher, moving out… All for Rory. Did she, Lorelai Gilmore, child of the privileged Hartford elite really want to be living in a tool shack and scrubbing toilets? Not particularly. But it was what she felt she could best offer her daughter.

From day one, Lorelai had made it all about Rory, and no one else. Someone had to do that for Davy and Martha.

But was she really the one to do it?

She just wasn't sure…

So much would change. All those things in her life that she'd have to give up, sacrifice, or tailor to accommodate little kids… But there was also those sweet little moments she'd get to experience all over again, first steps, scribbled artwork, sticky little hugs for no reason…

For the rest of the day, Lorelai puttered around the house, mulling, pondering, debating…

She just didn't know what to do.

* * *

It was some hours later when Rory dragged herself into the diner, flopping down on a stool at the counter. She'd had to spend much of the day catching up on work she'd missed for the funeral, and while she was thrilled that she'd been able to distract herself from thinking too much about – well, about anything, really – it had made for a long day. And Luke's packed the one-two punch of coffee and possibly dinner too. Though her underlying motives for stopping at the diner revealed a third punch – an opportunity to get the first recap of any talking he and her mother might have done…

The endless stream of work at the paper hadn't allowed for any phone calls to Lorelai for kid-status-updates, and being that it had been over twenty-four hours since the subject was first broached, Rory was dying to get a little perspective from anyone. "Hey Luke," she greeted brightly when she caught sight of him back in the kitchen, trying not to let her apprehension over the day's possible developments show.

"Uh, hey," Luke turned around, replying slowly, a little perplexed by Rory's presence. "Coffee, I assume?" Or not perplexed by _Rory_, per se, but by the fact that she wasn't Lorelai. If he'd been expecting in Gilmore to come begging for caffeine over the course of that particular day, it wasn't necessarily Rory. There were very obviously some things that Lorelai Gilmore needed to go over with him, but as he'd told the Lorelai Gilmore sitting in front of him earlier that day, _she_ wasn't the particular Lorelai Gilmore he needed to talk to.

"Do you _know_ who my mother is?" Rory quipped nervously. "Yes, please." She'd known Luke long enough to know his mood-of-the-moment was something less than genial; she just couldn't be sure if it was specific knowledge he might have gained about a certain situation over the course of the day that was bringing on the mood, or a _lack_ of knowledge that was keeping him on edge.

Luke just nodded, pulling a mug from beneath the counter, "Right."

But Rory didn't drink the coffee Luke poured. Instead, she spun the mug around, toying with the handle as she toyed with how to broach the subject. "Uh, speaking of…" she began, her voice uncharacteristically high and bright, "Have you…" Her brilliant segue quickly collapsed into more apprehensive nerves, "Did you talk… to mom?"

"Nah," Luke sighed, "I was gonna go over with lunch for her, but it busy, and without Lane around…" In truth it had been a slow day; he knew Lorelai probably needed a little space after the news from yesterday. And he'd tried to give her that by not bothering her at all. But he was reaching the end of his rope – waiting was torture. "I could bring over dinner," he offered slowly, hoping that if he headed over there, Lorelai would help clear up some questions in his mind as to what was going to happen…

"Ooh, chili fries," Rory clasped her hands together in over-exaggerated glee. Martha and Davy questions could wait if there was the promise of chili fries.

Luke rolled his eyes at that, but scribbled it down on his order pad anyway.

Catching the intent of Luke's writing the order down right away, Rory clarified, "Now? Ish? 'Cause I can wait and then just drive you over so you don't have to bring the truck or walk." He obviously wanted to get to Lorelai as quickly as she did…

Luke confirmed awkwardly, "Uh, sure," feeling slightly embarrassed at having appeared so anxious.

"'K," Rory agreed, returning to toying with her mug halfheartedly.

So for the next ten or fifteen minutes, Rory fidgeted on her stool, Luke tinkered around in the kitchen, both wanting to talk to Lorelai, but neither really sure what they wanted, or expected, to hear…

In any case, they were soon pulling up to the Gilmore house, Rory's little car stocked with dinner provisions.

Eager to finally really talk to Lorelai, Rory grabbed the pie Luke had brought, jumped out of the car, flew up the front steps and sent the front door flying open in a flourish as she called out, "Hey Mom, we've got dinner…" But her exuberant voice trailed off as she rounded the corner into the living room…

Lorelai was curled up on the couch, as she had been for much of the day. Not that that in and of itself was something Rory hadn't been expecting – she knew Lorelai had been planning on taking one more day to digest everything before going back to the Inn to deal with everything that would have to be addressed there. So lazing around on the couch was fine.

Rory just hadn't anticipated the veritable nest of photo albums, baby clothes, pictures frames, and god know what else that Lorelai had burrowed herself into as she sat there on the sofa. Or the teary eyes and almost… _guilty_… expression that her mother wore as she finally craned her neck to acknowledge that there were now actual witnesses to her little emotional disaster area.

With Rory just gaping silently in the doorway, Lorelai knew it was her move. She forced a weak, sheepish smile and waved her hand in a tentative peace offering.

"Mom…" Rory whispered, stunned, recognizing a few of her old stuffed animals, embarrassing naked baby pictures, and tiny jumpers fashioned of old t-shirts among the array of items scattered around Lorelai.

Behind Rory, Luke had just made his way into the house. He'd lagged behind, trying to juggle three bags of food, not to mention the tray of take-out coffee cups, as he tugged the door closed after him. But turning around to face Lorelai, he too stopped dead in his tracks, jaw dropped slightly in disbelief as he muttered, "Jeez…" at the sight in front of him. He couldn't have been sure what any of it meant, the pictures, the other stuff… But it sure as hell made him a lot less comfortable than he had been not five seconds earlier.

The deafening silence that followed echoed in Lorelai's ears. Feeling more and more like she'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar, she sprang into action, shoving things into unorganized piles for no particular reason and spouting awkward, unfinished apologies and explanations along the way, "Uh, I just…"

Watching Lorelai's unprovoked flurry of activity, the increased fluster, and the new round of tears threatening to spill down what looked to be already well-tear-streaked cheeks, Rory knew. The pictures, the guilt-ridden face… It was all adding up.

And she _knew_.

"You're gonna take them, aren't you?" She asserted softly, abandoning the pie she'd been clutching and rounding the corner of the couch.

Lorelai froze at the words, half bent over in the midst of her impromptu organizing. Her knuckles went white as she gripped the small pink frame with a picture of a two-year-old Rory wearing what looked to be an entire box's worth of macaroni and cheese. _It was now or never…_

Straightening herself back up to her full 5'9", her eyes met Rory's questioning gaze for only a split second before she squeezed them closed again, willing emotions away so she could get it all over with. And that's how she did it – hair falling stringy in her face, lower lip held captive by her teeth and nerves, arms hanging limply at her side even as she still held the photo, unwilling to look anyone in the eye…

Lorelai nodded.

Even as she braced herself, wincing at the reactions to come, there was nothing. She heard silence from Luke, Rory sucked in a quick breath, and then nothing. Nothing. It was torture – worse than when she'd had to announce her pregnancy to her parents way back when. At least then she'd known what she was up against – disappointment, anger, disbelief... Now… Now, she just didn't know…

Lorelai's fears weren't exactly assuaged even as sound made its way back into the Gilmore living room. Rory's eventual noncommittal "Oh my God…" of quiet disbelief served only to heighten her mother's anxiety – a fact which initially escaped the dumbfounded Rory. But as Lorelai's momentarily poised apprehension began to fade, and the crying began anew, her soft sobs finally penetrated Rory's stupor.

Rory blinked, forcing herself, at last, to really _see_ Lorelai. She'd collapsed back onto the couch, tears streaming down her face as she sat amidst the haphazard piles of memories. Heart breaking for her mom, so obviously tormented by the decision she'd had to make, Rory launched herself into Lorelai's arms. Apologies, words of comfort, and 'I love you's followed, pouring out of Rory's mouth as she tried in vain to calm Lorelai, even as her own sniffles threatened.

Something akin to a gasp-hiccup hybrid escaped from Lorelai's throat upon the impact with Rory. Rocking her daughter like that, faces buried in each others hair as they cried together, she knew she could do it again. It would all work…

It was a few moments later when the girls finally broke apart, each a little calmer and more level-headed than when Lorelai had first dropped the bomb.

It was then, opening her eyes as she released Rory, that Lorelai finally re-registered on Luke, who still hovered in the doorway, taken aback and left essentially speechless by what had played out since he'd entered the house. Which Lorelai had figured might be the case – he couldn't have seen any of this coming, not so soon… She took a deep breath, wiping her face, and addressed him cautiously, hesitantly, "Luke, hey…"

Rory may have appeared to come off the whole thing as accepting so far, but Luke? He'd heard the admission too, but said nothing. And somewhere in the back of her mind, Lorelai knew that how Luke took this news was as important to her as Rory's reaction, if not more… Rory would be off at school, graduating, getting some hotshot job somewhere… Whether Lorelai took those kids or not wouldn't be a big deal to her in the end; her future was somewhere else. But Luke was Lorelai's future, at least in her mind… He _had_ to be ok with this…

Hearing his own name jerked Luke back into some sort of awareness. Still in shock, he stumbled through the motions he supposed would be expected of him, leaning over the couch to give Lorelai the obligatory kiss. But, his mind racing over the implications of what had been just the slightest of head nods, he couldn't even focus on her, and ended up dropping a kiss numbly on Lorelai's forehead. Pulling away, he absently waved the bags of food, mumbling any words he could manage, "Burgers. I'll… Kitchen…"

Bewildered, Lorelai gaped in the direction Luke had gone, barely able to stutter out a "'K…" _What was that? _Maybe she'd been expecting a little too much when she'd tilted her mouth up to his face, hoping for a soft comforting kiss… But still, she'd wanted _some_ sort of reaction from him. Even a negative one, one of his classic rants or something, would have at least let her gauge where he stood.

But before she could dwell any longer on the possible underlying implications of Luke's non-reaction, Rory drew her out of her daze, waving a hand in front of her face, "Mom?"

Lorelai snapped her head back to focus on Rory, "Huh?"

Situating herself Indian-style to face Lorelai, Rory spoke slowly, the weight of Lorelai's decision weighing on her words. "This is big," she stated solemnly, "You're taking them."

"I have to," Lorelai sighed, the slightest air of annoyance lacing her words. So maybe she'd been wrong in thinking Rory's embrace had meant she was accepting of the situation…

Rory's eyes went wide in protest, misunderstanding and believing that Lorelai thought she was somehow required by law to take on the kids, "Mom, no…"

Lorelai's head tilted to the side as her expression softened once again. Rory was just trying to protect her… "Babe, I know Colleen would take 'em in a heartbeat if I say no, but I can't do that," she explained frankly.

While Rory tried to absorb that statement, Lorelai piped up again, trying to lighten the mod as best she could, "Besides, Sookie would come back and haunt me for the rest of my life if I didn't do what she wanted. And, hi? She's a _cook_! Scary, ghostly butcher knives, anyone?"

"You're nuts," Rory snorted a soft laugh as she shook her head, glad at least that they could already feel comfortable joking about Sookie no longer being around.

The smile on Lorelai's face faded ever so slightly as she recalled her mental status from earlier that day – Rory wasn't that far off the mark… "Believe me," she rolled her eyes warily, "I have become _very_ aware of that fact more than once today."

Rory smirked in return, oblivious to any seriousness Lorelai's words may have held, "Just today?"

Lorelai's mouth dropped open as she feigned shock, "Careful you," she warned, wagging her finger in Rory's face, "I might try and make this a trade-in deal."

"Ouch…" Rory yelped, recoiling back against the arm of the couch, her hands covering her heart in deference to her mock pain.

Lorelai grinned broadly, deliberately goading Rory further, "Two for one?"

But Rory sat back up without a matching smile, the gravity of the conversation's undercurrent again evident on her face, "Mom…"

"I have to take 'em kid," Lorelai's shoulders slumped in resignation as her own expression reverted to somber acceptance.

"But the Dragonfly, Luke, you – you just got rid of me," Rory sputtered, still not able to fully grasp Lorelai's reasoning. "What about your no-strings, free-wheeling, single woman status?"

Before continuing on with the vein of conversation that had marked the phone call the last time they'd discussed something along those lines, Rory paused. She sent a conspiratorial glance toward the kitchen, knowing that her mom had yet to send Luke the newsflash about the previous month's reproductive crisis. Turning back to Lorelai, she whispered accusingly, "_You_ were the one that didn't want _any_ kids a month ago. Do you _remember_ the apple-induced panic attack? What about…" A menacing glare from Lorelai's end of the couch put a stop to that train of thought before she could finish her sentence.

Revising her protest to something slightly more diplomatic, Rory finished insistently, her voice once again at its normal timbre, "This is so _permanent_ – and not where you are. Have you _really_ thought about this?"

"Things change Rory," Lorelai snapped nastily, indignant over that fact that Rory thought she'd take something like two children so lightly. "You think I don't get that? I got that when I was 16. _You_ were not where I was then either," she barked, "_You_ were not prom and chem lab and the bangles' tour or getting my license."

"But I didn't just get dropped in your lap out of nowhere!" Rory cried in protest, "You were pregnant, you didn't have a choice, I was coming no matter what!"

Lorelai scoffed at that, her face twisted in incredulity over Rory's blatant lapse in logic, "Umm, call me Sophie, 'cause I did - I _had_ a choice," she pointed out wryly. "_The_ choice if you wanna go all Planned Parenthood on me. I had more choices than I _ever_ wanted to deal with before I could even drive." She paused, taking a deep breath, eyeing Rory's slightly shell-shocked expression before toning down her diatribe a few notches. In a softer tone, she spoke sincerely, "But bottom line, you were my responsibility, I kept you. I _had_ to. I couldn't listen to what Chris wanted, or my parents, or _his_ parents… It had to be about you."

"What about what _you_ wanted?" Rory pressed, still not sure that her mother had thoroughly thought things through, at that moment, or twenty years ago.

"What I really wanted was for Christopher to pull out like he said he was going to!" Lorelai shrieked, caring not an iota that Luke was probably hearing every word from in the kitchen.

Rory squeezed her eyes closed at those words, grimacing at the very unwanted mental picture and cursing inwardly for bringing it upon herself.

"You asked," Lorelai spat in a huff.

"Yeah, and I'm kinda regretting it," Rory spat back with equal vitriol.

Lorelai sneered as she asked pointedly, "Like I was _kinda_ regretting the lack of the Trojan man back in '84?"

Taking offense to Lorelai's harsh tone, Rory just crossed her arms in front of her chest, setting her jaw and sending her mother a withering glare.

At that, Lorelai dropped her head to her palms, running her hands through her tangled hair. Things were not going how she'd planned… "Look, I'm sorry, I don't want to do it like this…" she apologized reluctantly. Looking back up at Rory, she continued on from her last point, despite Rory's still skeptical expression, "Ror, that's my point – there _is_ no point in that, the regretting. It's over. Do I wish like hell that Sookie had been able to convince me to let her stay home that night? Of course!" she wailed, admitting aloud for the first time that, irrational as it was, she felt horrible about pushing Sookie so hard that night. But that wasn't the point of the conversation at hand…

She pushed those thoughts away before they could do anymore damage to her weary psyche, "But it didn't happen. And now her kids have to go somewhere."

Aghast, Rory's arms flew back away from her chest as she leaned towards Lorelai, her last few words registering in her mind, "You're taking them because you feel _guilty_?"

"Nooooooooh-wuh," Lorelai droned with a roll of her eyes, flopping dramatically backwards in exasperation over Rory's jumping to conclusions yet again. Pulling herself back up to a sitting position after a moment, she leveled with Rory, "I'm just saying, I wish things were different and that I didn't have to make this choice at all. But they're not. Just like they weren't when you showed up on the radar."

Rory seemed to accept that, at least momentarily, as she reassured Lorelai, "Mom, I'm behind you whatever you do." When Lorelai's only response was a grateful smile, Rory took the opportunity to dig a little more, to make sure of things, if only for herself and not Lorelai. "But why do you think it has to be _you_? You said Colleen would take them. She's their _aunt_," she insisted.

Rory knew the protest Lorelai was forming before the words even made it to her lips. She just waved her hand, cutting her mother off for clarification purposes, "And yes, I know you're amazing Auntie Lorelai, super babysitter, but she's their _real_ aunt."

Lorelai pursed her lips thoughtfully, trying desperately to figure out how she could get her point across. Movies. It always came back to movies in the Gilmore house… "Would you look at me the same if Morgan Freeman was putzing around with me in the Jeep right now?" She stared Rory down with wide eyes, daring her to come up with a retort for that.

But Rory's brow furrowed; the Morgan Freeman had left her veritably befuddled, "What?"

"Hello, Miss Daisy?" Lorelai reminded Rory, astonished by the fact that her reference wasn't immediately understood. "That's how old Colleen and Gary will be when they hit their 20s. Older than my parents are now," Lorelai added for emphasis.

The emphasis worked.

Rory just sat there, wordlessly dumbstruck as she began to process the Miss Daisy idea. She couldn't even _begin_ to fathom having a parental figure older than her grandparents. Hell, she couldn't even imagine skipping _one_ generation and having her grandparents as parents… She really did have no answer for Lorelai on that one…

And Lorelai could sense that she was finally starting to get her stance across to Rory. In an effort to drive the idea home, she continued, sans Morgan Freeman, "And, yes, as much as I fancy myself an immortal, eternally cool and 'with it' wonder woman, I too," she bemoaned melodramatically, "Will, sadly, be a number I don't even want to think about – say nothing!" Lorelai squealed mid-sentence. She'd caught an evil glimmer in Rory's eye as soon as she'd alluded to her own age…

But satisfied that her empty threat had kept any future-age-related pronouncements from escaping Rory's mouth, she tried to get back to her initial point. "It'll…"

Rory was smirking again…

"Seriously, turn off the mental calculator you've got going," Lorelai demanded, trying her best to stifle her own giggles and appear stern and foreboding.

Rory raised her hands in mock defeat, "Hey, I may be at Yale, but I still can't count _that_ high…"

Lorelai squeaked out a wounded gasp before sending a pillow flying at Rory's head. "Two for one trade-in, I swear!"

"Fine, fine," Rory acquiesced, still laughing. "You are Lorelai Gilmore, forever twenty-nine. Forget the fact that in less than a decade I'll be there too – we're just so magical and amazing that we defy time in this house."

Lorelai grinned triumphantly, "Much better." Taking on a more serious tone, she reverted back to what she'd been trying to say earlier, "But you know what I mean. Whatever number my age will be… _whenever_," she dragged out begrudgingly, "It'll still be a lower number than Colleen. Those kids deserve more than that. And, to be honest, so do she and Gary."

"What about _you_!" Rory demanded, still unable to get past the fact that Lorelai didn't seem to be taking herself into account at all, "Are you really thinking about this?"

Lorelai sank back into the couch in exasperation. She was getting nowhere with this… "Rory…"

Rory cut Lorelai off quietly, hissing accusingly, "What about _Luke_?" She gestured over her shoulder towards the kitchen with her thumb, "I _know_ you haven't even talked to him. And you've already made your decision? How does _that_ work?"

Another deep sigh from Lorelai… Placing her hands on her daughter's knees at some sort of symbolic attempt at physical restraint, she gave it one last shot, "Ror, I appreciate you all concerned and panicked and being all reporter-like and getting every angle. And hey, you know what?" Lorelai smiled, allowing her speech to get a little side-tracked as she realized the blindsiding potential with where she was headed. A little payback for the age thing, if you will… "You are being so thorough and detail-oriented and everything, I'm sure you'd be _great_ with kids." Sitting back, she added nonchalantly, "I should just give 'em to you. Solve all my problems."

_That_ caught Rory off-guard. "Eh?" she stammered, it being one of the few times in her life when she honestly wasn't sure Lorelai was actually kidding or not.

Stifling a laugh at the deer-in-the-headlights look, Lorelai good-naturedly decided _not_ to give Rory a heart attack that particular day – child protective services and whatnot. They'd probably frown on the killing of your own kid. And she figured now that she'd made the decision to take Martha and Davy, it might be a good idea to make sure she actually _could_ get them.

Shaking her head, she brushed off her previous comments with a grin, "No, whatever. Joke."

Once Rory had breathed a sigh of relief, Lorelai admitted that Rory's accusations about Luke were true, "Yes, Luke and I are due for a big ol' honkin' powwow about all this. I know that. And we _will_ talk," she insisted, as much for building up her own confidence as Rory's. "Dust poofs and spinning baseball caps and whatever else happens." Lorelai cringed inwardly even as she heard the words exit her own mouth; she really didn't want to think about what the 'whatever else' could entail.

Forcing herself to trust in the logic that had led to her making up her mind in the first place, she pushed aside any possible Luke-related ramifications and focused once again on her explanation of that logic for Rory, "But I had to do this before I talked to him. Or you. Or anybody," she corrected herself. "It has to be about Martha and Davy. And _only_ them." Clasping her hands together in front of her chest, Lorelai laid it all out there for Rory, laid out the one reason that would ensure she could never turn those kids away, "I always, always, _always_ put you first," she insisted, imploring Rory to understand. "I have to do that for them too."

And Rory finally _got_ it.

Under normal circumstances, Martha and Davy would have hardly been a blip on Lorelai's radar. Sookie's kids, sure, but still just kids she saw in passing, heard silly anecdotes about in the kitchen of the Inn. But now… She was already making sacrifices for them, putting them on that same prestigious pedestal that had been reserved so long for her only daughter, the single most important thing and sole focus in her life for the past two decades. To Rory, that just solidified that Lorelai was, in fact, the perfect person to watch out for those kids for years to come.

Through watery eyes, she gazed at her mother in awe and admiration, her voice escaping as the barest of whispers, "Then they're lucky to get you."

All the air in Lorelai's lungs rushed from her body in one shuddering breath as her hands flew up to her cheeks and her eyes grew misty for the thousandth time in the past thirty-six hours. "Yeah?" Fighting a smile she wasn't yet completely sure was warranted, her meek question came out in the shakiest of voices; she'd wanted – _needed _– to have Rory's support, but she still couldn't quite believe that things were starting to fall into place…

"I _am_ the authority on the subject…" Rory confirmed with a sniffle, crawling across the couch to Lorelai.

Lorelai leaned in too, pulling Rory tightly to her, "Thanks babe." _It_ _would be fine. They would _all_ be fine_, that much she knew at that moment.

Rory was a little more dubious, wondering in her own mind how exactly things were going to work out. Grasping Lorelai's shoulders, she pushed her back to arms length. Her face soft and sympathetic, she promised Lorelai sincerely, "I'll help however I can…"

"I know sweets. And there _is_ a ton I've still gotta figure out…" Lorelai conceded as she shifted sideways on the couch. Settling down cozied up next to Rory, arm around her shoulders, she stared off into space of the stairwell to the second floor pensively before posing the question, "Would it be wrong to turn the bathtub into a crib? Because, I swear that's the only place they'll fit. And work…" Lorelai continued unabated, giggling along with Rory beside her at her own absurdity, and trying not to think of the fact that as silly as they sounded, these were some serious issues she _was_ actually going to have to deal with, "Think a Gymboree theme would work if we renovate the 'Fly? Osh-Kosh curtains in my office?"

With a smirk, Rory shook her head with a snort, declining to dignify her mother's questions with a real answer. "Decision, decisions," she taunted instead. "But," she added thoughtfully, after a slight pause, "No point in thinking on an empty stomach."

"True dat," Lorelai agreed with a vehement nod, breaking into ghetto-speak for no particular reason whatsoever. Regardless, she made no move towards the food in the kitchen. Emotional exhaustion prevailed; even her grumbling stomach wasn't enough to pull her from the thoughts still racing around in her mind.

Surprised by Lorelai's apparent passing up of Luke's food and coffee, Rory pulled out the big guns. "I made Luke bring chili fries," she sang teasingly.

_That _got someone's attention… Lorelai cocked her head towards Rory, breaking into an appreciative grin. "And that, my friend, is precisely what makes keeping you worth it," she declared, pressing a kiss to Rory's temple before pulling herself to her feet.

"Glad to be of service," Rory grinned, grabbing Lorelai's hand.

Dragging Rory up off the couch, Lorelai set off for the kitchen. One talk down, one to go… But first, "Lu-uke, fri-ies!" she called, scampering past the stairs and the front door.

She skidded to a dead halt when she caught sight of the bags of food, abandoned on the counter, with no other sign of a flannel-clad fry purveyor for miles. Shaken by his sudden absence, she barely managed the weak "Luke?" she croaked out. _No no no no no, this wasn't happening…_

Panic creeping up on her, Lorelai anxiously peered into Rory's room, the bathroom, the porch… Anywhere Luke might have ducked out to…

But he was gone. He was _gone_.

By the time Lorelai re-entered the house from her search of the back porch, Rory had followed her into the kitchen and begun digging through the piles of food in search of the chili fries. Oblivious to the situation materializing around her, seeing only the open back door, she merely assumed that both Luke and Lorelai had foregone the food and relocated outside for round two of 'The Talk.'

But when Lorelai burst in through the door, having heard Rory's rustling through the bags, with a desperate, breathless, "Luke?" Rory was clued in to something otherwise.

Lorelai's stricken expression, the increasingly obvious lack of Luke, the realization of how much he may have heard and how much it may have affected him… Rory met her mother's panicked gaze sympathetically, offering helplessly, "About your little powwow…"

Crestfallen to find it was only Rory in the kitchen, Lorelai let out a slow, shaky breath of defeat. Luke had heard everything, and he'd hightailed it right out of there… As Rory had less than subtly brought to light, she needed to find him. She needed to talk to him… What else could she do?

With a weak laugh, Lorelai resorted to her tried and true fallback – humor. "I'm getting my moccasins Tonto," she quipped feebly. But even as she was still uttering the words, the fearful anxiety of not knowing where Luke stood on anything took over, her face falling. With one last look of despair back at Rory, Lorelai shoved her feet into her shoes and headed for the door. "I'll be back."

Knowing exactly what Luke's absence so suddenly after hearing her mother's decision to take Martha and Davy could mean, Rory chased after Lorelai, catching her on the porch, "Mom?"

Lorelai wavered, temporarily suspending her sense of pressing urgency to hear Rory out, "Hm?"

Fiddling with her fingers for a moment before speaking, Rory carefully chose her words. "He probably just had to get back to work," she rationalized unconvincingly, knowing that Lorelai wouldn't believe it, but hoping that she could find some solace in the slim possibility that it was the truth.

And she was right, Lorelai didn't believe it. Not for a second. She knew at least as well as Rory what Luke's departure could mean… But she didn't want to go there… She had to find Luke first…

At Lorelai's frozen silence, Rory offered one final statement of comfort. "I'll be here," she promised. _In case the worst happens_, she added silently to herself.

A nearly imperceptible smile of thanks flickered across Lorelai's face before resignation set back in.

_She had to get to Luke_.

So Lorelai set off across the lawn into the night, hoping for the best, all the while trying valiantly to prepare herself for the worst…

**To be continued…**


	5. Chapter 5

**In a Flash**

**See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.**

**Apologies for taking so long – life happens. It ain't the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer any more kiddos.**

**Anyway… Guess you guys had some mixed feelings on that last chapter. But I've had the plot for this entire story mapped out for a while, so there's not much I can do. I can't please everyone, but if this doesn't go how you would have liked, just know that one chapter does not a whole story make ;)**

**Either way, you've all been amazing with the reviews once again, especially with the kicks in the butt as it got longer and longer without an update – thank you so, so much. Feedback is always wonderful to get, even if it's just you calling me crazy for how I'm writing things.**

**And thanks a million to my super-duper new beta readers – I hope they know how much they've helped :)**

Luke fought furiously with the green scrubby thing, but the week-old cheese from the lasagna he'd made yielded not a millimeter from its stronghold on the edge of the baking pan. Still he scrubbed and scrubbed, determined to keep his mind focused on the menial task of freeing his dishes from the likes of sour milk and crusty oatmeal.

Anything was better than dwelling on what had driven him to his kitchen sink in the first place.

It had taken a few moments for the full impact of what Lorelai had let on back in her living room to hit, but once it had…

She was going to take Sookie and Jackson's kids. _Whoa_.

That was pretty much the extent of his train of thought as he'd sat anxiously in the Lorelais' kitchen not too long ago. He'd sat there, that one thought racing through his mind as he waited for Lorelai to come explain herself. But she hadn't come.

Luke had no idea how long he'd actually waited for her – maybe an hour, maybe seven-point-three-eight seconds. All he knew was that those soft yellow and cream walls had never made him feel so claustrophobic, nor the wafting scent of French fries and coffee so suffocated.

He'd had to leave. Fresh air, open space, familiar surroundings, dishes in desperate need of washing after having been neglected in the week he'd spent staying with Lorelai…

It was all supposed to be an escape from the multitude of questions racing about in his head. But even as his hand slipped, and he cursed himself for splashing some sort of questionable-looking substance up onto his flannel, he knew he wasn't escaping very well.

He just couldn't fathom what any of this was going to mean for him. Or, more importantly, for _them_. How could she not say anything to him beforehand? Hadn't she babbled on at some point about wanting a middle? Were kids not the middle? Even if they were someone else's?

To be fair, Luke reminded himself, he couldn't really let himself be angry or upset over the fact that Lorelai was going to become the kids' guardian. As crazy as she could be, the bottom line was that, overall, Lorelai amounted to an amazing mother. With their own parents gone, those kids couldn't possibly do any better; despite the completely unorthodox life and relationship they'd had, Lorelai had raised an amazing kid in Rory, and Martha and Davy would be lucky to have a life half as great as the one Lorelai had given her own daughter.

So for that in and of itself, Luke couldn't harbor any negative feelings toward Lorelai or that facet of the situation. She was essentially going to be a mother to those kids.

But what about a father?

Sure, Rory had survived without much in the way of a father figure, but she was a girl, she got that whole mother-daughter bonding thing. Martha would probably be fine – some sort of hybrid of Sookie's, Jackson's, and Lorelai's personalities, _God help us all_, he cringed inwardly. But the boy? Luke knew from personal experience that even grown men were often at a loss in the Gilmore house; he couldn't imagine Davy growing up with all that estrogen around. The poor kid was going to need some sort of male influence, and run-ins with Kirk around town were certainly not going to cut it.

Still scrubbing away his frustrations, Luke let his mind wander to his own childhood. He thought he'd turned out okay, even with his mother gone when he was so young; he'd been a little boy growing up fine with his dad, his idol. He was pretty much raised by the time his father had died – it had hurt, sure, but he was old enough that there were no permanent scars. Liz… Well, it hadn't been easy for her without a mother, and it sure as hell was reflected in mishaps over the course of her life. Even if you wanted to call her normal – which he didn't – being settled down with TJ now, he didn't think it was quite fair to Davy if it was going to take almost forty years for him to finally be well-adjusted.

Not that Luke felt he was prepared to be anyone's father. Or even father-figure. Not even close.

But wasn't Lorelai at least _thinking_ about some of these things? _Shouldn't_ she be? If she was going to be their guardian, didn't she _need_ to be thinking about things like that? And if she wasn't, he could have made her think about them, if she'd had the consideration to at least mention something in passing to him before she went and made up her mind about this whole fiasco.

Scuzzy water splashed higher and higher as pots and pans bore the brunt of Luke's heightened emotions. No, he couldn't be upset with Lorelai over taking the kids, but he sure as hell could be a little annoyed, angry, hurt, confused, or all of the above over the fact that she'd ignored him and whatever role he might have in her life. Sure, the kids were left to her, and her alone. Fine. So in legal-ese, Lorelai owed Luke nothing, or even Rory for that matter, but you'd think she would have at least consulted with _one_ of them before making that kind of decision… That really was Luke's only consolation – Lorelai obviously hadn't even discussed things with Rory ahead of time, so he wasn't the only one left out.

Still, he couldn't help but wonder, as he moved on to a bowl of moldy yogurt, what kind of a relationship did Lorelai think they were going to have down the road if she didn't give him a second thought when the ramifications of her decision were going to be around for at least another eighteen ye…

Luke's train of thought came to a crashing halt when he heard the door to the apartment fly open behind him. He froze, knowing exactly who it was, but not knowing what to say or how to handle whatever words she was inevitably going to throw at him. He settled on a perfunctory "Hey," not even turning around to face her. His soapy hands gripped the edge of the counter as he physically braced himself. Against what he wasn't quite sure; at that point he had no idea what to expect from the woman he'd thought he'd known so well…

And yet another testament to the fact that maybe he didn't know Lorelai as well as he'd thought was the deafening silence that radiated from behind him.

Out of instinct more than anything, Luke threw a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure that Lorelai hadn't stopped breathing and keeled over for some reason, or that he hadn't been mistaken about who his intruder was and he was actually getting robbed at gunpoint. But the glance immediately became a double-take.

If he'd had to pick a scenario that would play out upon her finding him, it would have had him being the one falling apart, ranting about this, demanding answers about that, with Lorelai calmly meeting him question for question with the rational answers he'd hoped she would have had worked out already.

But never did he anticipate this…

Lorelai stood in front of the open doorway gaping at him. Tears streamed freely down her cheeks as her gaze darted from Luke to the sink in disbelief. When it finally registered in her mind that she was actually seeing Luke wash dishes, she staggered backwards slightly, inadvertently nudging the door closed and wearing an expression as hurt as if she'd just been punched in the stomach.

For Luke, the crying was once again the trigger for him to drop everything else and comfort her. His frustrations melted away, and any anger was forgotten as he rushed to dry his hands and get to her side. Lorelai in pain would always take priority over the maelstrom in his head, especially if he felt he had anything to do with causing that pain. Not that he knew for sure that he did…

In the split second it took Luke to reach for a dishtowel and wipe off his hands, Lorelai's knees had gone weak. By the time he'd made it over to her, she was reduced to a curled-up heap of gasping sobs against the back of the door.

"Hey, hey…" Luke's words may have been a repeat of what he'd uttered just a moment before, but the tone was anything but. Dropping to his knees beside her, he reached out awkwardly to her, his mind still reeling and not quite understanding that he and his obsessive compulsive need to wash dishes were the cause of the tears he yearned to stop.

Though at that moment, distraught as she may have been over the apparent trivial reason for Luke's desertion, Lorelai needed a comforting embrace more than anything in the world, she shrugged his hand away defiantly. Choking on sobs, she slid herself a few feet down the wall, desperate to keep distance between them.

Which came as a bit of a surprise to Luke; he was mind-boggled. She'd run to him, but was pushing him away? "Lorelai, what…?" he spluttered awkwardly.

"You just leave?" Lorelai whispered the words bitingly into her knees, not daring to dignify him by looking him in the eyes. "I make one of the most…" She faltered as a hiccup caught in her throat, her voice shaky, "I… I tell you I'm taking those kids, and you just leave? To wash your dishes?" Biting her lip for a moment to ward off further tears, she continued, still staring at her knees, "I didn't realize dish-washing was such a pressing priority now," she spat bitterly.

"I had to think," Luke offered softly, trying to reach out to her. It was the truth, though even to him it seemed somewhat lacking, given how things were playing out …

But with the somewhat unstable mindset Lorelai was in at that moment, to her, Luke _thinking_ could only mean that he was _thinking about leaving_. The last time he'd needed to _think_ it had led to one of the lowest points in her life… She sobbed harder, unable to formulate any coherent response.

Luke was at a loss. He wanted nothing more than to figure out what was running through her head, to figure her out, to be able to comfort her, soothe her… And figure _himself_, and whatever was going to happen with those kid, out, for that matter… "God, Lorelai," he murmured, attempting to pull her to him once again.

Despite her best efforts to fight him off, the latest onslaught of tears was too much for Lorelai. She surrendered to emotion as Luke cradled her against him, unable to stop herself. And as always, Luke's comforting embrace calmed her down, the hiccupping sobs and gasps for breath soon quieting to sporadic sniffles as Luke shushed her.

But with the calm came lucidity for Lorelai – Luke had had to think. _Think_. And he'd bolted when she'd needed him the most…

She stiffened against him, choking out a phlegm-y, "No" of protest as she pushed Luke away. She refused to let herself get sucked in by Sweet Comforting Luke. _He'd left._ "No," she stated more firmly, scrambling to her feet, "Don't…"

In a flurry of activity, she was at once up, wiping her face with her sleeves, and yanking at the door, in front of which Luke was still inconveniently sitting. To which she paid no mind; she just kicked and shoved at him as she continued her desperate attempts to exit his apartment, "Luke, just move…"

For a moment, Luke just sat there staring at her, not even bothering to fend off the light blows that her sneaker-clad left foot was dealing him. For the life of him, he could not figure out where she was coming from in this little breakdown. He hadn't sat around in her kitchen to twiddle his thumbs, but was that necessarily a crime?

When he realized she was making no progress with opening the door, but also showing no signs of giving up on her incessant tugging at the doorknob, he leapt to stand up as well. "Where are you…?" Luke's question of mild protest trailed off as he focused instead on reining Lorelai in before she could get the door open. Reaching for her arms, he quickly gathered her hands in his, "What are you…" His confused words faded yet again as Lorelai managed to wrestle herself out of his grasp and he was compelled to grab at her wrists. Exerting more pressure than he had the first time, he was able to subdue Lorelai into a tenuous surrender.

Still crying, and still struggling weakly against Luke's tight grip, Lorelai swiped at her damp cheeks with her shoulder. "I have to go," she whimpered softly.

Luke's heart broke a little at the hitch in her voice, but he couldn't let things remain as they were. His voice gentler than his hold on her, he tried his best to reason with Lorelai, "You can't…"

"You did!" she snapped accusingly, the escalating emotion of her outburst proving enough to wrench her arms away from Luke in a flourish. "I mean, you are, right? Leaving?" She sniffled, forcing herself to look Luke in the eye for the first time since he'd mumbled something about hamburgers back in her living room. "I didn't…" Lorelai's resolve began to crumble; her gaze dropped as she folded her arms tightly across her stomach. "I knew… I knew you might, but I didn't think…" She bit her lip, willing herself not to succumb to tears, and reality, yet again, "I'm sorry. I've gotta…"

And without another word, she was back at the door, shoving at Luke and determined to make it out of the building without any further tears for him to witness.

With Luke standing rather than sitting, Lorelai actually did have the leverage to be successful with the door this time. She'd made it halfway out the door when Luke sprang into action, unwilling to let the conversation, if it could be called that, end there. In one swift motion, his hands had grasped her waist and whirled her back into the apartment before her brain and muscles could even form a unified front to put up a fight.

His back securely against the once-again-closed door, Luke rested his palms carefully on Lorelai's cheeks, willing her eyes to meet his, "You are not leaving here now."

Lorelai pressed her lips together and sucked in a sharp breath at the contact, unable to stop herself from leaning into his soft touch. "Luke, don't," she protested, even as her eyes slipped closed, Luke's thumbs tenderly tracing her cheekbones. _But he'd left… _"Don't…" Her eyes flew open with newfound resolve. She continued sternly, pushing Luke's hands away, "Don't prolong this. I'll send Rory over with your stuff at some point."

Luke's jaw dropped, "My stuff?" To say he was flabbergasted would have been a gross understatement. Any lingering confusion over what Martha and Davy were going to mean for him was instantly pushed aside by the utter bewilderment over Lorelai's words, "What in God's name are you…"

A sigh of defeat cut him off. With her arms crossed in front of her chest, Lorelai fought to keep her composure, mentally willing Luke to just let it drop and not force her to say the words…

But Luke needed his explanation, "Lorel…" He trailed off as Lorelai once again lifted her gaze to his in what he could only read as resignation.

"You obviously want no part in anything to do with those kids," Lorelai conceded in defeat, "And I now, by extension, _am_ them. So…" She shrugged slightly, shoulders slumped in melancholy acceptance, "Gimme a call in twenty years."

Aghast at the insinuation held in Lorelai's words, Luke couldn't even begin to formulate an articulate thought. Never in a _million years_ would he have expected even Lorelai to make the mental leap to him leaving her for good.

But with Lorelai's eyes again focused sadly on the doorknob behind him, he knew he had to muster up some sort of reassurance for her. Stumbling over his first few tries, all he could do was go straight to the point, "Lo… I… You are _the_ most important thing in the world to me. I am _not_ leaving you," he insisted, imploring her to _hear_ him, "Not over this."

Lorelai numbly reiterated her point in a hollow voice, "You _did_ leave."

Luke's eyes involuntarily went wide at her blatant refusal to listen to what he was trying to say. "I left your _house_," he clarified slowly, drawing out his final word to leave no room for any further wild misinterpretations.

Lorelai just snorted softly and rolled her still-red eyes, a barely audible "Duh…" escaping out under her breath.

"To _think_," Luke repeated adamantly, practically pleading with her.

"Right," with a strangled laugh, Lorelai agreed, strategically revising Luke's statement, "Like last time. About how completely messed up this all is and how best to plan a graceful exit strategy." She glared at him, "You're _thinking_."

Frustrated to no end, Luke's arms flew in the air as an emphatic rush of words exploded from his mouth, "I am not thinking about leaving you!"

"Then what Luke?" Lorelai wailed, emotions spilling over yet again as she had no idea what to believe, "You can't just leave like that!"

His nostrils flaring in the beginnings of anger, Luke could barely believe Lorelai had the gall to be making demands – _he_ was the bad guy in this situation? After _she_'d left him out of everything? How the hell else was he supposed to handle any of it? "What was I supposed to do?" he demanded harshly, finished with trying to placate her, "What _am_ I supposed to do?"

"Anything!" Lorelai cried right back at him, "God, I don't even care! Yell at me, tell me I'm out of my mind, that you think I'm crazy that you hate kids and that you can't stand to look at me anymore. Tell me I can't take them because you love kids so freakin' much that _you_ want to take them yourself. Tell me you'll be there. Tell me you won't. I don't even care what you say. Just don't _leave_."

That hit Luke in the gut. _Tell me this, tell me that…_ Setting his jaw and crossing his arms in front of his chest, he eyed Lorelai skeptically for a moment. "You want me to talk to you." He spoke wryly, his words more of an observation than a true question.

"Yes!" Lorelai exclaimed, exasperated at Luke's cryptic response.

Still stone-faced, Luke challenged Lorelai pointedly, "Like you did."

Caught off-guard, Lorelai's face twisted in confusion, "What?" She'd been expecting excuses or apologies or… Anything but some sort of veiled intimation of _something_…

And then came Luke's explanation, "You're a goddamned hypocrite."

He might as well have slapped her across the face; Lorelai flinched at the sting of the accusation. A weak rebuff of "Luke…" slipped breathily from her lips as she recoiled away from him.

But it wasn't over yet. Lorelai's plaintive uttering of his name did nothing to slow Luke's tirade. "You needed time. Fine. You needed space. Fine." He began pacing as he spoke, punctuating each angry march with a _'fine'_. "I respected that. So I gave you space, I gave you time. Fine. I hated it but I did it. Fine. And you took your space and time and you made your choice. Fine. You just obviously don't respect me as enough to give me the same courtesy."

Lorelai let out a shaky "What?" as she tried to grasp, in her frazzled state, what Luke was getting at.

Hearing that, Luke put the pacing on hold for a split second, just long enough to turn to Lorelai with a venomous glare and a stern finger shaking, "You want me to tell you how I'm feeling now? I don't owe you that." And then he was back to the pacing, adding arm-waving for emphasis, "Why would I? Since that funeral, you've said maybe two words to me, Lorelai. I've had _no_ idea what's going through your head, about you, those kids, what it means to us, _nothing_. And now you're here yelling at _me_?"

His rant winding down, Luke's pacing slowed to an anxious foot shuffle. He didn't, however, turn to face Lorelai, as he was already deep in thought tying to mentally prepare himself for whatever screechy diatribe she was going to let loose on him – _the kids were left to her, he could barely stand the kids when they were babysitting, why should he have a say?_

But Lorelai couldn't do that, for nothing she could have yelled back, if she could formulate words, would have held any water.

Luke was absolutely, positively, one hundred and ten percent right. Everything he'd said was true; he owed her nothing, she'd treated him horribly. Maybe she hadn't _gotten_ it right away, but he was right. Hell, he was probably being generous when he said 'two words.' That same guilt she'd felt hiding under her covers, pretending to be asleep, washed over her tenfold, every single one of Luke's accusations driving home the inescapable fact that, kids' best interests or not, she'd been wretched to him.

She stood silent, trembling slightly as her eyes grew shiny. Her crestfallen face was the picture of shame.

As before, the deafening silence caught Luke off-guard. Focusing once again on Lorelai, taking in the sight of her cowering before him, he had the gut-wrenching inkling he might have gone too far…

His face softening ever so slightly, he approached her cautiously. The edge off his voice, Luke chose his phrasing carefully, "I'm not a big talker. We both know that," he began. "But this?" He waved his hand at the distance between them as his gaze pleaded with Lorelai to appreciate his reasoning, "This needs talking. You didn't seem to think so, but…" He stopped, hesitating for a moment; he wasn't really 'fine' with that, but… "Fine. You wanted to think on your own, fine. But it's a two-way street here, Lorelai." With a deep breath for good measure, Luke reached out and gently tilted Lorelai's chin upwards so her eyes met his, "I'm gonna need a little time to process too."

The tears threatened once more, "I know, I know…" Lorelai admitted with a whimper, trailing off as she collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table. "I can expl…" she started weakly, "I should have… But…" She just didn't know what to say to him… "Didn't you hear what I said to Rory?"

Confused, Luke squinted slightly in her direction, "What?"

Lorelai attempted a shaky clarification, "Why I couldn't talk to anyone?"

But for Luke, a clarification it was not. "What?" he shook his head, still baffled.

"When did you leave?" Lorelai demanded quickly, growing increasingly antsy the longer Luke had to go without hearing all of her side of things.

Stupefied by the line of questioning, Luke eyed Lorelai incredulously, "I didn't exactly look at my watch…"

She rephrased, "How _much_ did you hear?" punctuating it with a residual sniffle.

"Hear of what?" Luke cried, Lorelai's ambiguity doing nothing to calm him.

"Me and Rory," Lorelai pressed urgently, trying to will Luke to understand.

"I dunno," Luke said, launching hastily into his recap of what had happened, "You said you're takin' 'em, you two were cryin' again, I went in the kitchen, you _didn't_ come in the kitchen, and I went nuts just sittin' there by myself, so I came back here. Now I'm goin' a little nuts here also," he added, gesturing to himself, having involuntarily resurrecting his pacing.

Lorelai's jaw dropped; for whatever reason, she'd been sure that he _must_ have overheard _something_ of her explanation to Rory, "You didn't hear _anything_?"

"Hear what?" Luke demanded in exasperation for what seemed like the millionth time, though perhaps a little too harshly, "What the hell was I supposed to hear?"

Taking a second to wipe her eyes and face, Lorelai cleared her throat and tried to regain whatever composure she could. With a deep breath, she forced herself to look Luke squarely in the eye, rethinking her strategy, "When you let Jess come here, did you discuss or consult with anyone?"

His brow furrowed, Luke slowed his feet, "What does Jess have to do with anything?"

Lorelai wisely kept her mouth shut, choosing rather to use a shrug of her shoulders and a knowing arch of her eyebrow to help Luke figure it out for himself.

Realizing what she was driving at, and unwilling to let her go where she was going, Luke corrected her defensively, "No, no… _We_ weren't together then."

"I know," Lorelai replied, surprisingly calm, "But what if we were?" Pulling her feet up to the seat of the chair, she hugged her knees to her chest and continued making her case, "If we had been where we are now, would you still have taken him, no questions asked? 'He's family, it's what you do,' right?" she quoted roughly, desperately hoping it got her point across.

Luke began his protest immediately, "No, I don't…" But he faltered quickly; in all honesty, he really couldn't say whether or not he'd consult with Lorelai first if that same phone call from Liz had come a week ago rather than years ago.

Emotional as she may have been, Lorelai still pounced expertly on Luke's indecision. "See?" she cried triumphantly, "It's the same." Catching a look of warning from Luke, she toned down her reaction a bit, beginning again more diplomatically, "Luke, you and Rory… You are my _life_. But I can't think about _me_ here," she explained softly. "Or _you_, and what you are to me. Or Rory."

At that, Lorelai paused, pursing her lips as she rethought her previous statement, "Well, okay, yes. _Rory_," she emphasized, "But that's my point. I've always done everything putting her first, 'cause she's my kid. And Martha and Davy…" She shrugged, not really knowing what more she could say, "What's best for them, you know? I know they're not my _family_ family, like Jess was yours, but still… It's their best interests, just them – I had to figure out what was best for them. If_ I_ was best for them," she stressed. "It's me or Colleen…"

At that point, drained of any further logic, and unsure of whether it had made any difference at all in Luke's eyes, Lorelai began tossing out any random reasoning she possibly could, "She's older, and far away, and they don't know her as well as me, and…"

Luke cut her off gently as he dragged a second chair as close to her as he possibly could. "We could have done all that together," he reminded her, only the slightest touch of a soft reprimand hiding in his words as he sat down beside her. As much as he wasn't a parent, he _did_ understand the basis for the sentiment as she'd expressed it. And he _did_ see how hard the decision must have been for her, but that was just all the _more_ reason for her to open up and let him to help…

Which Lorelai _did_ know…

Her heart ached at the desperation in Luke's voice. "I know, I know," she wailed, burying her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry… God I _know_ I should have talked to you. Maybe I did this all wrong," she admitted, tears slipping down her cheeks as she brought her gaze back up to meet Luke's, "Maybe I did screw up. But I…" She sniffled, "This is where I need Sookie, you know? She's the buffer. I'm supposed to have her around to help me figure out what to do when I can't talk to Rory or you. She's the one I talk to _about _you. She's supposed to tell me how this is all going to affect you. And me," she added, "And you _and_ me. How much I should tell you. An extra, non-daughter, my-age, female perspective…"

Choking on her words, Lorelai fought to stay calm, "I'm sor…" But she was fighting a losing battle. With a hiccupping gasp, she managed a gravelly "I miss her," before slumping against Luke, whatever lingering animosity there may have been between them taking a backseat to the grief she had yet to really yield to.

Over the course of the past two days, Lorelai's subconscious had managed to compartmentalize, somehow keeping Martha and Davy completely separate from Sookie and Jackson's deaths. One had nothing to do with the other, somehow… With the madness of organizing flowers, food, and funerals for the first few days, there hadn't been time for anyone to truly deal with the sudden absence of Sookie and Jackson. And just when all the craziness had passed to the point when Lorelai might normally have been able to take a little time to process, she'd been completely blindsided. From then on, it was, in her mind, the completely independent issue of whether or not to take in those kids.

Not until right then, when she'd tried to explain everything – needing Sookie to bounce ideas off – to Luke did it really hit that the two couldn't be separated; Sookie and Jackson and Davy and Martha were all one thing. One big, messy, emotional _thing_. And for all the tears she'd shed in the past week, past day, past ten minutes, there had yet to be tears for that one thing.

Which was something Luke hadn't really been able to realize until that moment either. He knew, for as hard as the deaths had hit him, that they would be that much harder for Lorelai to deal with. He knew, for as confusing as the prospect of Lorelai getting Martha and Davy was for him, the kid situation would be exponentially more difficult for her to deal with. And she'd had the weight of the decision itself to deal with – something he, as much as he may have wanted to, didn't have to deal with. For all that, he hadn't really been able to grasp _how much_ harder all of it would be on Lorelai.

But as she collapsed into tears against him for the umpteenth time, he was starting to get an inkling of that _how much_. Self-doubt crept in; was he absolutely horrible for trying to make the situation about him, even the little that he had? Mentally berating himself for being anything less than one hundred percent unconditionally supportive of Lorelai, he wrapped his arms around her, sliding her onto his lap as she sobbed and threw her arms around his neck.

Holding her tightly to him as her body shook and the collar of his shirt grew damp with her tears, Luke stroked her hair, rocking her slightly, his own eyes even growing a bit misty at times.

Seconds, minutes, hours later – however long it took for the fears, the grief, the acceptance, the tears, to dissipate – Lorelai finally broke the silence, her voice nearly lost somewhere in the tangle of her hair, her arms, Luke's neck, and his flannel shirt. Somberly, she murmured, "I have to take them."

"I know," Luke admitted, though that remained essentially the _only_ thing about the whole situation that he knew…

Sitting up straighter, Lorelai pulled away from him. "And you hate kids," she stated, focusing first somewhere past Luke's shoulder, then woefully raising her gaze to meet his.

Saddened by the fact that he must have somehow unwittingly led Lorelai to believe that he harbored some undying animosity towards children that outweighed his feelings for her, Luke sighed dejectedly. "I don't _hate_ kids. And it doesn't matter anyway," he tried to reassure her, "Even if I _did_ hate kids, I love you. And they're going to be part of your life. Doesn't mean I'm going anywhere."

"You can, you know. Go, I mean," Lorelai offered softly, her head dropping down as she focused intently on chipping away old nail polish "I'm not gonna make y…"

With Lorelai obviously not as convinced as she needed to be, Luke interjected, stilling her nervous hands with his own. "I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere," he declared insistently.

Hearing those words, Lorelai's eyes fell closed as she wished that, somehow, everything could be less complicated…

"I'm not a fan of your parents either," Luke continued, undaunted, "I'm still here. All you drink is coffee, which I _do_ hate."

At that, Lorelai had to giggle in spite of herself.

When she raised her head back up and offered him a wan smile, Luke was glad that he'd been able to elicit some sort of positive reaction from her. "Still here," he urged gently, taking advantage of having re-gained eye contact. "If you gain four hundred pounds, or get disfiguring burns, or shave your head, or get god-awful tattoos, or have both legs and an arm amputated, I'm still here. If it was you pregnant with our own kid, I'd still be here. If you and Michel decide you want to turn the Inn into an orphanage for every kid in all of Connecticut. New England. Whatever!" he exclaimed, "Still here!" Taking one final deep breath to regroup, Luke laid it all out there, reiterating his point with all he had, "Lorelai, I'm here. If you're still you, I'm still here. The rest… doesn't matter, we'll deal with it. Nothing here changes. We are where we are. You're just going to have two kids at home."

Lorelai let out a shuddery breath, all at once overwhelmed by Luke's unconditional declaration. It was more than she could have hoped for, given the situation. Awash in emotion, it was all she could do to even nod in acknowledgement of Luke's words.

Which wasn't quite enough for him to go on. A 'Thanks, Luke, good to know' maybe. Or even a 'Swell, sounds super' would have made things a little clearer in his mind. But being that Lorelai had already been all over the board in terms of actions, reaction, Luke honestly couldn't tell what that little nod had meant. Had he gone too far? Crossed some line? Upset her even more?

When he caught sight of more shiny, damp streaks appearing on Lorelai's cheeks, he panicked, "Hey… what…" he rambled, a hint of frenzy in his voice indicating how little he knew about where his monologue had left him standing.

"No, no, Luke. Good tears," Lorelai managed to choke out, smiling gratefully through a sniffle in an effort to calm him down. But the smile faded as reality sunk back in and she was able to see how absolutely insane she must seem in Luke's eyes. It was getting hard enough for her to keep track of her own emotions, never mind poor Luke trying to play catch-up. She tilted her head sympathetically, "God Luke, I'm so sorry, I don't… I'm _so_ sorry," she stressed. "Things are so crazy, I think it all made me a little Anne Heche too," she confessed sheepishly.

"It's ok," Luke admitted, "I know." If 'Anne Heche' meant what he thought it meant, he could certainly sympathize.

Lorelai's red-rimmed eyes shone with appreciation, "I know you do, and…" Not knowing any better way to express that sentiment, she threw her arms around Luke's neck, pulling him into a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear, "We'll figure this out. Together, I promise."

Over Lorelai's shoulder, Luke let out a muted "Mmhmm," of agreement.

Releasing Luke and leaning back slightly, Lorelai looked him directly in the eye, and proceeded to kiss him with everything she had. After pulling away breathless, she laid her head on his shoulder, "I love you too."

And that was that. To them, at that moment, the issue needed no further discussion; they were there for each other and that was all that mattered. They remained in their embrace, Lorelai still on Luke's lap, Luke casually rubbing Lorelai's arm or running his fingers through her hair. They probably would have stayed as such even longer, had Luke not begun to lose feeling in the leg on which Lorelai was perched. But even then, they needed no words. Luke just carefully slid himself and Lorelai off the chair and led her over to his bed.

Without hesitation Lorelai kicked off her shoes and slid under the covers beside him, tucking herself as tightly against him as she possibly could.

Luke had yelled. He'd yelled, he'd cursed, he'd tried to ignore her, he'd physically restrained her, but in the end Lorelai wouldn't have it any other way. Somehow, through all that, Luke had managed to calm her down, straighten her out, have everything make sense, and make her fall in love with him all over again. As long as Luke could do things like that for her, everything would be fine.

"Everything will be fine," she murmured sleepily to herself as she dozed off.

Next to her, Luke could just barely make out her tired whisper. But even as he drifted towards sleep beside her, the reality of what had transpired since Lorelai had showed up slowly sank in. No questions answered, no issues clarified – not his issues or questions anyway. His initial doubts and worries just began weighing on his mind anew...

He could only hope Lorelai's words would prove to be true.

The next morning, Lorelai awoke in the soft morning sunlight to find Luke already gone, likely down in the diner. Pulling herself to a sitting position, she let her mind wander, doing a quick review of the previous night.

She was taking the kids.

And she and Luke were ok.

_She and Luke were ok._

Really, those were the only two things she could come up with. But that was all she needed. Well, aside from the fact that she knew that, as a result of taking Davy and Martha, there were a hell of a lot of things she _needed_ to do…

Reluctantly, she dragged herself out of bed, knowing, at the very least, she had to get in touch with Colleen and begin to figure out how everything was going to work. Finding her sneakers, she shoved them on her feet and headed downstairs.

A quick scan of the diner allowed her to locate an exceedingly busy Luke. Which was fine – any heavy-duty one-on-one time, even there in the diner, was, at least as of late, apt to start the waterworks flowing. So she offered him a hurried wave and a weak smile of appreciation from across the room, and slipped out.

Much of the short trip home Lorelai spent in a daze, musing over what the hell it all was that had happened over the past forty-eight hours. When she finally reached the house, she hadn't even made it to the front steps when the front door burst open and she was met by an overly concerned-looking Rory, "Mom…"

"Hey babe."

"You're early," Rory noted cautiously, unable to gauge her mother's expression, "Or late, depending on how you want to look at it I guess…"

"Yup." Lorelai's face remained a closed book as she trudged wearily up the porch stairs.

Rory looked on inquisitively as Lorelai brushed past her and proceeded to flop unceremoniously on the wicker sofa. She gave it about twenty seconds before submitting to curiosity, "So?"

Barely blinking, Lorelai repeated, "So."

"So…" echoed Rory, wondering whether or not it was a good thing that Lorelai seemed to be drawing her into that silly third-grade game of just repeating everything someone else says…

This time she didn't get any response, as Lorelai just gazed off pensively into space.

Kneeling on the bench next to Lorelai, and trying again, Rory prodded a little more in an attempt to draw her mom out of her stupor, "So, fill in the blanks?"

"Hm?" Lorelai murmured distractedly, her mind obviously a million miles away.

"You ran out of here last night to…" Rory paused with a slight frown, not knowing how to phrase diplomatically the fact that Lorelai had essentially run out to find Luke and make sure he hadn't bailed. Because if that was the case, she doubted her mother would want to hear it spelled out for her. "Well, you ran out of here last night," she began again, "And now you're just getting back now. I could fill in the blanks myself," Rory waggled her eyebrows at that, hoping the insinuation might elicit a characteristic 'Dirty!', "under normal circumstances, but…" She trailed off when the 'dirty' didn't come.

Still making it impossible for Rory to discern whether this was a Happy Mom or a Devastated Mom she was dealing with, Lorelai replied placidly, "He just needed a little space."

Rory cringed – space could be a bad thing. "How much space?" she questioned timidly.

The underlying fear in Rory's voice was what finally drew Lorelai out of her contemplative daze, "No, no," she reassured Rory soothingly, "Not, 'Hey I need a continent between us space.' Just like an hour of space. Or time," she corrected herself awkwardly. "Whatever. We're ok. We're fine."

"Oh Mom," Rory sighed in relief, breaking out into a wide smile and embracing Lorelai, "I'm so glad."

"Me too," Lorelai grinned as she released her daughter.

Sitting back on her heels, Rory tilted her head pensively, still not quite able to see how Luke fit into the puzzle of Martha and Davy and Lorelai. "So he's okay with taking them?"

"Well _he_'s not," Lorelai clarified jokingly, playing off Rory's semantics.

With a roll of her eyes at the lame quip, Rory let Lorelai know she required a real answer, "Mo-om…"

Only the slightest hint of defensiveness could be heard when Lorelai repeated, "Well, he's _not_."

"I know that, but _you_ are," Rory reminded her pointedly, unwilling to let Lorelai's evasive tactics go unnoticed. "So he might as well be."

Lorelai hesitated for only a fraction of a second, then just shrugged in response, not really knowing what to say, and not really wanting to admit to herself that she really _didn't_ have an answer to Rory's question.

Concerned over that very same lack of answer, Rory piped up nervously, "Are things not as fine as you said?"

"No, no, Rory, we are fine," Lorelai assured her daughter, exuding the confidence that at that very moment seemed to be slipping away from her. "We're fine. Nothing's changing, he's Luke and I'm me," she explained, "I've just got the bonus Davy and Martha thing going now."

"But…" Rory began in protest. She knew there had to be more to a situation like this than _that_.

Lorelai's confirmation was a bland, "That's all."

Rory was at a loss, "Well, is going to…" What _would_ Luke do now that her mom was getting two more kids? "Is he going to move in here or anything?" she wondered aloud, asking herself as much as she was asking Lorelai.

"I…" Barely having started to formulate a response, Lorelai snapped her mouth back shut. _Move in_. Huh. In all the messiness of the day before, she hadn't even stopped to think about how something like that would work. Surely the kids would be living with her, but Luke? "I don't know…" she confessed meekly.

"Well is he going to help?" Rory quizzed next, reasoning that her mother must have at least discussed that much with Luke, "Like, is he going to do anything for them?"

And Lorelai completely clammed up. She had no idea how to answer that. No freakin' clue. And she really did not like that fact.

She also really didn't like Rory staring her down with big puppy dog eyes while she tried to process her own lack of answers.

So with a quick gesture to Rory's work outfit, Lorelai gave her a nudge with her foot, reminding her of the time, "Hey, you're late." She was met with a skeptic eyebrow raise. "Um, and I guess I've got calls to make," she added, which actually was the truth. Tons of calls, "Gilmores and lawyers and Melvilles…"

"Oh my!" Rory gasped with a mocking smile.

It was Lorelai's turn to give a weak eye roll, though she embellished hers by gracefully sticking her tongue out at Rory as well, "Funny girl. Now shoo."

"I'm going, I'm going…" Rory drawled, gathering herself up from her seat. She wasn't brain-dead; she knew well enough from some of her faux pas over the past day or so that if she pushed much further, she'd once again be incurring a wrath worse than any wicked witch could dish out. So she kept her mouth shut, scampered inside to grab her bags for work, and dashed down the steps towards her car, leaving Lorelai to deal with the underlying reasons for the non-answer on her own, "Bye Mom!"

"Bye sweets." Lorelai smiled brightly, offering Rory a wave as she backed her little sedan down the driveway. But no sooner than Rory had rounded the corner past Babette's did the façade of serene confidence fade.

_Was_ Luke going to move in? _Would_ he help with Martha and Davy? What _was_ going to happen?

Coming off their conversation, if it could be called that – perhaps argument, sob-fest, or mutual meltdown would be a better fit – the night before, she had been so sure that everything would work out fine, that they were right back on track.

But now that she'd faced a little interrogation from Rory, Lorelai realized that they hadn't really gotten anywhere. Sure, Luke had reassured her that he wasn't going anywhere, but that never should have been an issue in the first place. That was just her rampant insecurity over keeping the male around when kids were involved rearing its ugly head.

Come to think of it, maybe that insecurity hadn't been quelled quite as much as she'd thought last night either, Lorelai conceded to herself. She trusted Luke one hundred percent when he said he wasn't going anywhere. But other than an ill-fated year or so with Jess, he'd never had to deal with any kids before. Could he really say for sure that nothing would change? That he'd be able to handle it?

But then again, there was Rory's question to think about. What the hell was it that Luke would even be dealing with?

Even before the accident, there had been no talk of moving in together. Lorelai's shelf and TV at Luke's were about as close as they'd come to that discussion, and even though Luke had spent every night with her since Sookie and Jackson died, would it have stayed that way if she hadn't been saddled with the kids?

Lorelai stared out over the front lawn, absent-mindedly chipping away at the nail polish she'd started in on the night before. In the past she'd usually stayed with Luke, it being easier for him to get to the diner in the mornings. But over the past week, she'd just grown so accustomed to him being there, in her bed, in her house, being there for her. And she could have so easily pictured them falling into that routine on a more permanent basis. But now… Instant parents? Or instant Auntie Lorelai anyway…

_Nothing here changes_. What did that really mean? Nothing changes from the status quo pre-accident? Pre-kids? Now?

The longer Lorelai sat there on the porch, the more unsure she grew over what exactly Luke had meant…

But, she supposed reluctantly, he could be dealt with later, when she saw him that night. In the meantime, there were plenty of other tasks she now faced that were more pressing.

With a defeated sigh, she slowly made her way inside the house, mentally trying to prepare herself for the talk she'd have to have with Colleen. Or worse yet, she shuddered, the call she'd have to make to her father to get the whole legal process underway. Nothing like blatant parental disapproval over the phone to get your morning started the right way.

**To be continued…**


	6. Chapter 6

**In a Flash**

**See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.**

**This may sound broken-record-ish, but sorry for the delay between chapters. I want _so_ much to be able to get this written and out to readers as quickly as possible, but sometimes life just won't let it happen. For those of you who have stuck around, I can't thank you enough for your kind reviews :)**

**And another big thank you to my betas, llanoestacado and sosmitten, for helping out again :)**

The phone call that Lorelai made that morning to her father's office was just the beginning… The beginning in the sense that the first flake of snow to fall eventually becomes part of an avalanche, or a tiny wave out at sea might actually be a devastating tsunami by the time it reaches shore.

Calling Richard had, unbeknownst to Lorelai ahead of time, been the easy part. Her initial stalling and inability to complete his entire phone number when dialing had apparently wasted just enough time, such that when she finally _did _muster up the courage to place the call, she was graciously informed by his secretary that he had just begun a meeting with a client. However, he had conveniently anticipated her call and left a contact number for an old Yale acquaintance, a specialist in family law.

Simple enough, right? Call the lawyer – see what the next step was? So Lorelai had thought.

To be fair, dialing that second number of the day wasn't nearly as hard, given that the prospect of relaying a life-altering decision to a parental unit was not an issue for that particular phone call. But no sooner had Lorelai outlined the basics of her situation to the lawyer was she inundated with a million next steps: interviews to evaluate if Lorelai was fit to take on the children; a home visit to make sure the kids wouldn't be living in a cardboard shack on the side of the town dump; meetings to figure out trust funds and whether or not Lorelai would have access to any of the kids' inheritances in order to support the two extra people in the household. And those were just the legal-type issues…

Wandering from the living room into the kitchen, Lorelai only half-paid attention to the lawyer, his voice fading to a dull murmur in her ear. Holy crap, she had a lot to do…

She quickly grabbed a random receipt from the table and began scribbling an impromptu 'to-do' list on the back. But even as the lawyer rattled off everything that would have to be attended to, and she obediently scribbled down the endless list of inane tasks and forms and consultations and paperwork, a million more random questions flooded Lorelai's mind…

She only had a Jeep – car seats wouldn't work in there. And even if all of Sookie and Jackson's crap was left to her by way of the kids, their family-friendly vehicle was just another casualty of the whole mess – did she have to buy a car? And where were the kids going to sleep? Rory was home for the summer, so they couldn't even get stuck in her room… Never mind a car, did she have to move? What about all their stuff? Did she have to go pack it all up or something? Would Colleen do that? Where would the kids stay once things were packed but not yet moved to Lorelai's? Were they allergic to things? Where was Martha in the schedule of infant immunizations? Who was their pediatrician anyway? Could she even put them on her health insurance right away? How long would an actual adoption take? Was Martha old enough to leave with a babysitter all day, or was she going to have to take even more time off from the Inn? Hell, could she even afford a sitter? Didn't Davy need potty-training at some point in the near future? How old was Rory when she'd gotten around to that? How often was she going to have to make trips to keep the kids in touch with their Melville grandparents and the rest of the clan? Should she dig out any of Rory's old baby junk? Martha was only a month old; Sookie couldn't have had that much girly stuff bought yet…

Repeated prompts of "Miss Gilmore? Miss Gilmore?" in Lorelai's ear finally brought her back from her frantic list-making. She probably should be paying more attention than she was…

Lorelai managed to keep herself focused on the legal minutiae for the duration of the conversation, and even retained some of the information being thrown out at her.

What she did know for sure was the fact that things were getting underway very quickly – maybe even a little more quickly than she was comfortable with. The lawyer had requested a meeting that very morning – to expedite the process in the interest of the children, of course.

So before she knew it, Lorelai was showered, dressed, and on her way out of town towards Hartford.

But driving through Stars Hollow, past Sookie's street, Lorelai knew she couldn't just make this all about the lawyers. She hadn't even told Colleen what she'd decided. She owed her that much, she supposed.

So she looped the Jeep back around the square, and pulled up at Sookie's pla – well, ok, Sookie's _old_ place…

Lorelai slowly made her way up onto the porch, pausing momentarily before ringing the doorbell. Telling Rory and Luke hadn't exactly gone over as well as possible; would breaking the news to a blood relative of the kids you were planning on adopting even though said blood relative was perfectly capable of keeping said kids in the family really go any better? Third time's a charm? Maybe?

She sighed, giving up on trying to convince herself that any of this process would be a walk in the park. Plus, the longer she waited, the later she was going to be meeting the stupid lawyer in Hartford.

So she stabbed at the bell with her finger, anxiously smoothing her skirt as she waited for Colleen.

It was a scarce few seconds before Lorelai could hear the literal pitter-patter of little feet scampering towards the door, along with Davy-sized squeal as the door opened, revealing Colleen scooping up the little boy with her free hand.

"Lorelai," Colleen exclaimed, her face registering slight surprise at seeing who her visitor was. Readjusting Davy, who was still squirming, she reached for the screen door and welcomed Lorelai in, "Come in."

Lorelai forced a broad grin as she walked in, trying valiantly to quell the awkward feelings bubbling in her stomach. "Hey Colleen," she greeted, and offered a small wave to Davy, "Hey sweetie."

The three moved further into the living room, Davy wiggling desperately in Colleen's arms, his little face growing red in frustration. With an apologetic shrug, Colleen turned to Lorelai, "Someone's getting a little cranky here. There's coffee in the kitchen if you want. Let me just put him down for a nap for a bit. I'll be right there, ok?"

Lorelai nodded dumbly as Colleen headed off towards the stairs with Davy. With nothing to do but wait, she found herself at a loss, her motions towards the kitchen stilted as she took in her surroundings. The last time she'd really been in the house, other than a focused beeline to Jackson's office to grab some papers and photos once or twice, was the night of the accident… Sitting on that couch, playing with those toys, getting the news on the phone in that kitchen…

She took a deep, shuddery breath; it was a lot to deal with…

Coffee. Colleen had mentioned coffee. At least that was something mundane and normal to focus on. She was just heading towards the cabinet of mugs when Colleen joined her in the kitchen, clearing her throat ever so slightly to make her presence known.

Soft as it was, Lorelai startled nervously at the sound. Bashful, she turned to face Colleen with a small, sheepish smile.

Colleen did return the smile, though she remained silent, likely understanding the weight of the reason for Lorelai's unexpected visit to the house.

The air was thick and heavy between the two women, weighing down on Lorelai as she abandoned her still-empty mug on the counter beside her. When realization set in that Colleen was just waiting, that it was her move, she squeezed her eyes tightly shut for a split second. They flew back open as her next words left her mouth in a hurried revelation, "I'm gonna do it."

Colleen nodded, still silent, still waiting for Lorelai to get out the words she needed to.

As she grasped the counter for much-needed support, Lorelai tried to gauge Colleen's reaction. Her memories of their last conversation were a bit fuzzy to say the least, given the blow she'd been dealt there in the cemetery; could the Melville family – would _any_ family, really – be completely comfortable with a veritable stranger, an outsider, jumping in out of nowhere to take over the raising of their relatives?

As much thought as she'd put into arriving at her decision, it hadn't really crossed Lorelai's mind until that very moment that there was a distinct possibility that things might not be so cut-and-dried as they might have seemed. She could only imagine what Emily's and Richard's reactions would have been had Lorelai kicked the bucket at some point and left them to find out that Rory was being shipped to Sookie, or Mia, or Babette, or _someone_, rather than to a family member. With a hesitant wince in Colleen's direction, she amended cautiously, "As long as it's really ok with everyone in your family, I'll do it."

"We're _fine_ with it Lorelai," Colleen insisted in return, making her way to sit in front of her own coffee mug at the table. "If _you_ are," she added, noting Lorelai's muted demeanor and her white-knuckled death grip on the counter.

Lorelai _wanted_ to be convinced, on both counts, she really did… "I…" She started again, aiming not only to convince Colleen, but herself. "I am," she resolved forcefully. "I mean, yeah…" Lorelai shrugged, not sure if she should be revealing to Colleen that she did have some reservations, "I'll have to get used to it…" She admitted, "But me? I have an adjustment period to go through every time I buy a new toaster or try a new shampoo. So that's nothing new."

Across the room, Colleen just sat there. She seemed to be studying Lorelai, her face, her nervous hands… The scrutiny further amplified Lorelai's nerves as she squirmed under Colleen's intense gaze.

After another ponderous moment, Colleen dropped her eyes down to the mug her hands were fiddling with and addressed Lorelai softly, "Are you really sure about this? We can work it out if…"

Lorelai just shook her head adamantly, cutting Colleen off, "This is what they wanted. I can't _not_ do it."

Colleen nodded, seemingly satisfied with Lorelai's answer, but still not offering anything else in the way of conversation.

Growing ever more uncomfortable in the kitchen, Lorelai took the opportunity to wander back to the living room, eager for a change of subject and scenery. "How are things going around here?" she asked, gesturing to the smattering of half-packed boxes of knick-knacks from around the room.

The focus suddenly off the custody issue, and back to the larger picture of why any of this was going on in the first place, Colleen immediately softened. "They're going," she sighed, the toll the ordeal was taking on her clear in her weary face, "I just kind of put the blinders on and go 24/7. No point in dragging it out, you know?"

"I guess…" Lorelai conceded, though she couldn't help but be envious of Colleen's apparent ability to keep those blinders on. She'd had hers firmly secured in those first few days, up to the wake, really. But since then, Lorelai knew, Luke and Rory were the only things keeping her sane through the whole mess.

Colleen kept talking, explaining how this particular lamp, or that particular table, were of sentimental value, and that one family member or another had requested said lamp or table. But Lorelai wasn't really listening; she'd spied Martha's little bouncy recliner rocker perched in the corner, away from the mess of the boxes and packing.

She couldn't help but smile at the sight of the little girl as she moved closer to her. Martha had apparently just recently discovered she had hands, complete with fingers, and was busily trying to get all of them into her mouth at once.

And as quickly as the smile had spread across her face, a lump grew in Lorelai's throat, standing there, staring wistfully down at little Martie. _This was hers now…_

Overwhelmed, she didn't even really register anything Colleen was saying behind her until she caught a waver of hesitation in her voice.

"Barring any big problems or anything, I'll hopefully be done in the next few days. Well, unless…" Colleen trailed off, gesturing vaguely at the other end of the house.

The insinuation didn't sink in right away; Lorelai was still working on swallowing that lump and the threat of tears that accompanied it. Distracted, she eventually tore her gaze from Martha, a questioning "Hm?" sent instead in Colleen's direction.

"I guess technically," Colleen began haltingly, "With everything left to the kids, if you become their guardian, the house will be yours too. I don't know if it's bigger than yours, or…" Her voice petering out awkwardly was enough for Lorelai to catch the underlying message that time.

"Oh God, I didn't even think…" Lorelai's hand flew up to cover her mouth, her jaw having dropped in surprise. Something else not yet solidified completely in her brain – taking the kids probably would mean getting everything… "All this is theirs…" And the house… She'd thought she might get stuck with stuff, but somehow the house had never even occurred to her. "It's bigger, but…" She stumbled over the words, barely able to wrap her mind around the slim possibility that she would move into the kids' house rather than vice versa. No, not a chance. Not when she could barely stand in the living room for ten minutes without breaking down. "I don't think I could…" she protested feebly.

"That's fine, it's fine," Colleen jumped in readily. "It was just something that hit me," she admitted, "That's something for the lawyers to figure out I suppose…"

Lorelai nodded in agreement, "Yeah actually, I'm, uh, on my way to see one now. I'll be finding out that kind of stuff I guess... How it all works…" Her voice faded out as she listened to the words she was saying – _would_ her lawyer really know how all this was supposed to work? Wasn't a scenario like this pretty obscure? Or was dealing with a situation as devastating as this just a day-to-day, commonplace task for them, Lorelai wondered darkly.

"That's good," Colleen commented as she went right back to her previous task of wrapping figurines, small lamps, and such in newspaper and loading them into boxes. "I guess I'll let the firm handling the wills and estate know too," she added as an afterthought, pausing her wrapping and looking back up at Lorelai, "Then they'll work things out between them?" She didn't bother waiting for Lorelai's response before she went back to the boxes.

Lorelai's head cocked slightly, "Sounds right…" she drew out her words with an air of confusion. Colleen's detached behavior was leaving her a little perplexed. But not sure it was her place to call her on it, Lorelai pushed aside the feeling of unease and began her farewell, "Colleen, I should get going, but…" Screw it. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but there was a distant aloofness about Colleen, and the only reason she could think of to explain it would be some sort of lingering bitterness or animosity over the fact that Sookie and Jackson had chosen her over family. Lorelai's confrontational side overcame her initial inhibitions as she paused, faced Colleen and demanded, "Are you all _really_ ok with this? With me?"

Colleen just shrugged, "We never saw them much anyway."

Well that wasn't the direction Lorelai had taken the situation in her head. One second she thought she was going to be at risk for some last minute custody battle, and now she was sounding more like just a convenient place to offload the kids so no one in the family had to be bothered by them.

The incredulous look on Lorelai's face after that initial reply must have clued Colleen into the fact that Lorelai was more than a little confused by the apparent motivations of the Melville family, for she quickly amended her words, "Ok, that sounded a little wrong. I just mean things will be that much more status quo, for us, if you do take them." She explained further, in earnest, "It's not that we're trying to dump them on you – I love my brother and I love his kids – I just…"

Lorelai would certainly never call herself an amateur psychologist, but Colleen's explanation seemed to her to be just a tad bit like denial. Pot, meet kettle, though really, she chastised herself in her head – who hadn't been back to the Inn since the accident? Who drove herself into such a frenzy trying to organize funerals so she didn't actually have to think about why she was actually doing all the organizing? She had to admit, she did understand what Colleen was trying to get at. Maybe it wasn't denial exactly, but it sure as hell was easier just to not have to think about things sometimes. Distance could be a good thing in situations like that, she supposed. "I think I get it actually," she acknowledged with a reluctant smile.

Taking in Lorelai's words, Colleen went back to answering the initial question; "I _do_ think my parents were a little upset by it initially," she admitted with a sigh, "They figure 'do everything the traditional way,' keep it in the family, you know? But we've discussed it, and you know they're actually closer to you than they'd be to us if we took them back to Vermont. So…" She paused before amending her presumptuous statement, "Under the assumption you'll let the kids visit them…"

Lorelai nodded vehemently, "Of course! "Oh my God, of course, any of you whenever…" Even if she was legally becoming the one in charge of Martha and Davy, she'd have never felt that gave her the right to deny them contact with their grandparents. Especially since the only replacement she would have to offer in that department anyway would be Richard and Emily. And hell, if she could trade them in for the Melvilles to be her own parents, half the time she'd probably jump at the chance, so she certainly wasn't going to keep the kids from their own family.

Colleen smiled. "Good. And obviously you're all on the guest list for any Melville thing too," she assured Lorelai.

Lorelai forced a weak smile as Colleen continued, "Really, it's you that's taking the brunt of this. Just say the word – there's no pressure."

"No, I'm…" Lorelai began her response haltingly as she spied Martha out of the corner of her eye. The baby was growing fussy, her chubby little face growing red with agitation. Lorelai's heart gave a little flutter, and she couldn't help but gravitate towards the little girl as she continued making her point to Colleen, "I've thought about it a lot. A _lot _a lot," she emphasized as she scooped up Martha. "Hey you," she cooed softly, "What's up? Huh? What's the matter? What's up little girl? Yeah, you're happy now," Lorelai giggled in spite of herself as Martha's whimpers faded.

Satisfied that Martha's tears were being held at bay, Lorelai, still holding the baby, turned back to Colleen. "I think it's what's best for them," she stated simply, "And I think Sookie probably knew that."

"Yeah, she probably did," Colleen conceded with a smile at the sight of Lorelai and Martha.

Despite everything, Lorelai couldn't help but still feel a little antsy under the weight of Colleen's gaze – she still just couldn't force herself be one hundred percent comfortable with everything. Her own gaze shifted nervously, until, out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a clock that still hung on the wall. "Crap, I'm gonna be late. Guess I'd better go get this thing underway," Lorelai shrugged, almost apologetically, shifting Martha in her arms, "I'll let you know how it goes." When Colleen didn't immediately respond, Lorelai piped up again, only to trail off helplessly, "Or the lawyers may just call you too. I don't really know…"

Colleen nodded and reached for Martha, "That's fine. We'll be here."

"Uh, ok," Lorelai stuttered, mentally smacking herself for her complete lack of eloquence in handling the whole situation. She just couldn't figure out how to act or what to say. Really, what was she supposed to go on here?

She didn't have a chance to ponder further how she could improve upon her rapport with Colleen; she really did have to get out of there lest she risk being late for the meeting with her lawyer. That probably wouldn't be the best first impression one could leave as a prospective guardian… So Lorelai said her goodbye to the one person she was having the easiest time conversing with, "Bye baby girl." She ran her finger over the silky soft skin of one of Martha's little tiny fists, gave a half-hearted wave to Colleen, and made her way out the door.

The remainder of Lorelai's day passed as one big blurry haze of meetings, lengthy discussions, taking care of this, finding out about that… More lawyers, and social workers, and accountants, and judges, bank accounts, the house, the kids, their stuff, cars…

Everything was happening so quickly, and those were just the things she actually remembered. There were likely a million other tasks and meetings she was forgetting about completely. Not to mention the fact that she still had the Inn to deal with – guests had started reappearing just after the funerals, and Michel had been doing a fairly good job of keeping things organized in her absence, but it wasn't fair of her to ask that much of him. Not when there were obviously going to have to be significant adjustments to the kitchen staff and produce supply end of things.

Add to that the fact that, as she had just been blindsided with today, Sookie and Jackson had apparently had it written into their wills that upon their deaths, there was to be some sort of memorial _something_ added to the Dragonfly. Whatever that meant. Apparently since the Inn was so new, and they were obviously thinking it wouldn't be an issue for a number of decades, they hadn't spelled out what that something was supposed to be, exactly. Sure, it was a nice thought, and Lorelai probably would have done something small anyway, but the lawyer handling their estate seemed to have it stuck in his head that they had intended a whole new wing be added on.

Which, Lorelai admitted, was probably right in line with Sookie's overblown and animated schemes, and she herself wouldn't be completely against expanding the Inn under normal circumstances, but _now_? Now it just added dealing with Tom and a whole team of carpenters to the list, in addition to the lawyers, accountants, social workers, and whatnot. She had no idea how she was going to keep track of everything that was going to be thrown at her in the next few days.

One thing she did know, as she finally pulled the Jeep into the driveway and trudged up the porch steps, was that she couldn't even crawl into bed to crash yet. Somewhere in the mess of a day that it had been, she recalled being informed that in order to take custody of the kids and proceed with an adoption, she'd have to be 'checked out.' Background checks and fingerprinting all that, yes, but also a home visit to make sure she wasn't just going to toss them in a cardboard box in the back of a broom closet somewhere.

And of course, said social worker was scheduled to appear tomorrow. Meaning there was a hell of a lot to do make herself, and her house, look even halfway decent for raising two small children.

At least, Lorelai smirked to herself sleepily, adding a wing or something to the Dragonfly would buy her a little extra time figuring out the whole living arrangement thing that the social worker would be investigating. If she could manage to convince this person that Tom, the only contractor in town, would be tied up at the Inn for a few months, she could just make like she was planning on putting an addition on her own house once Tom was free again. At least having future plans in the works would mean that the State of Connecticut wouldn't frown on her quite so much for having to keep both kids in her own bedroom.

Yet another thing she knew she had to talk to Luke about, she lamented as she eyed him sleeping soundly in her bed. Lest she wake him up and have to have that conversation right now, Lorelai quickly shed her clothes a grabbed a pair of his old boxers and a tank top and then slipped back out into the hallway.

She couldn't help but cringe as she made her way over to the bathroom. Not because she was heading to the bathroom… Well, ok, she was going there to clean it, so yes, in part she was cringing because she was facing the task of cleaning the bathroom at one-thirty in the morning, but the rest of that cringe was owing to the fact that she knew she and Luke were way overdue for much more of a talk than they'd had the night before. They needed to have The Talk about The Future. Future… Big scary f-word.

Sure, in the immediate sense, all she could do was a little furniture rearranging and wedge a crib and a bassinette into her room – Rory was still home for a couple more months this summer, and Lorelai vowed to disrupt her own daughter's life as little as possible, so there would be no room sharing there. Besides, Martha was still tiny, and probably waking up a lot during the night, so it only made sense to have her close by. And hell, at that point, might as well make it a party of four and stick Davy in there too.

But would it be four?

Lorelai liked to think that, disregarding the accident and impromptu kid inheritance, she and Luke were heading down the path to something more permanent. Marriage, a kid of their own maybe?

Not that their own kid was on the list anymore, in the near future anyway, that was for sure – not with two ready-made ones entering the scene. But if they had had one at some point, would they have moved? Added on? Because whatever the plan would have been, it was going to need to be fast-forwarded to right now. Lorelai was pretty sure she could convince a social worker that kids in her room was temporary while work on the Inn was being completed, but that would only work for a few months max. After that, there'd have to be a real plan. Which meant talking to Luke and figuring out where they were going from here…

"Ugh," she grumbled aloud, fighting with a particularly stubborn stain. She could deal with Luke later. He was sleeping, and she still had a lot of cleaning to do…

* * *

Down the hall, Luke blinked in the soft light filtering in from the hallway through the barely-open door. He wasn't quite sure what had drawn him from the depths of sleep, and now that he was awake, he still couldn't be sure what exactly was going on. Disoriented, he fumbled around behind him for Lorelai. Nothing but sheets.

With a gravelly sigh, he flipped on a bedside lamp and squinted at the fuzzy alarm clock beside him. 2:08. Where the hell was Lorelai?

He lay still for a moment, craning his neck to peer down the dimly lit hallway. Sure enough, he could just make out the faintest of rustlings coming from the bathroom. Convinced it was just another of Lorelai's late night pee runs after downing way too much coffee before going to bed, Luke just turned off the small lamp next to him. Rolling over to face away from the bright hallway, he let his eyes flutter closed as he awaited Lorelai's return.

2:24. That was the next thing Luke saw. He'd drifted back off to sleep, unable to keep his eyes open for the few minutes he'd thought it'd take Lorelai to get back to bed. But she still wasn't there.

Luke turned the light back on, and after giving his eyes a moment to adjust a bit, he drew his gaze to Lorelai's side of the bed. His sleepy floundering when he'd first woken up a few moments ago had confirmed that Lorelai wasn't in the bed; his slightly more coherent visual assessment of the scene and its barely mussed pillow told him that Lorelai hadn't been to bed at all yet.

What the hell? Luke sat up, straining to hear the quiet noises he'd heard from the bathroom. Yes, he verified in his mind, she was still in there… Was she sick? Throwing up all over the place or something? It was the only explanation Luke could come up with for her having been in the bathroom for so long in the middle of the night. The way she ate, it probably should have been a far more regular occurrence than it was.

But if she was sick, she wouldn't need a lecture on eating habits – she'd probably want a little help more than anything. If that was the case, Luke surmised, he'd better investigate and see if there was anything he could do.

So he dragged himself slowly from the bed and crept down the hallway as quietly as he could.

But as Luke reached the bathroom and glanced inside, it was quickly confirmed that Lorelai puking up a lung was not the current state of affairs. She was _cleaning_, he realized. Sponges, sprays, toilet brushes, everything. Again, what the hell?

Luke leaned groggily against the doorframe, watching Lorelai for a few moments before he gave into curiosity and confusion. "How long have you been here?" he spoke up gently.

Even though Lorelai had had her back to him, busily cleaning away, when Luke spoke, he'd figured she must have heard him coming – the floors in the old house weren't exactly squeak-proof, nor was the bathroom door that he'd had to open further in order to see her. But her mind must have been a million miles away, for she practically jumped a foot in the air when he'd finally said something.

Her hand flew to her chest, and the sponge she'd been scrubbing with went flying somewhere in the direction of the bathtub. After a few deep breaths, she turned, sheepish and red-faced, to face him, "Hey…"

"It's two in the morning," Luke stated flatly, rubbing his eyes as they adjusted to the harsh bright light. "You never clean, especially not at two in the morning."

Lorelai shrugged, and Luke was half-convinced he saw a flash of apologetic guilt cross her face before she averted her gaze from his to recover her projectile sponge. "I talked to the lawyer today," she explained tentatively, still not meeting his eyes, "and there's a social worker coming here tomorrow, and stuff has to be clean, and…"

"Already?" There was little that Luke could do to mask his surprise – was it not just last night that she'd told him she was going to go through with this… this… _kid_ thing? Was there no adjustment period? You decide to adopt your dead friends' kids and the next day you're already meeting lawyers and cleaning the bathroom for the social worker? No time to get used to the idea?

Or perhaps Lorelai was fully acclimated already, and he was just the one left back in the dust. Because her response to his squeaky 'Already?' was just to turn back away from him and go right back to scrubbing the floor with a nonchalant, "Might as well get them settled, right?" tossed out over her shoulder.

"Yeah, sure…" Luke mumbled in involuntary agreement. Sure, get Martha and Davy settled… Never mind that he was feeling very, very _un_settled. He knew they hadn't discussed much of anything yesterday, but he figured there would still be time to go over the details. But then again, he reminded himself as he watched Lorelai keep cleaning away, there was probably still time. The social worker, or whatever, was coming, but that was probably just a scheduling issue at… wherever it was that social workers came from. And technically it probably was good that Lorelai had met with a lawyer already, he reasoned. Legal issues could take forever… The kids probably wouldn't be going anywhere for a while. They had time… They _would_ talk…

Lorelai interrupted Luke's attempts to convince himself that he was comfortable with the status quo when she halted her cleaning abruptly and whirled around and gave him a curious once over, "Is this keeping you up?"

Luke practically had to stop himself from laughing right to her face. Of all the things that could have kept him from sleeping in recent nights – accidents, hospitals, funerals, the bomb Lorelai had dropped the night before – Lorelai finally showing a tendency towards household cleanliness was the last thing that would keep him awake. Not that it wasn't out of the ordinary, but relative to other goings-on, it wasn't his biggest concern. He shook his head with a slight snort of amusement, "No, not what I'm used to seeing, but it's not keeping me up."

Apparently convinced enough, Lorelai went back to cleaning.

And Luke just stood there, wondering how late into the night she could possibly keep up the housekeeper-on-crack routine, what with the frantic scrubbing and rinsing, and the scrubbing and the rinsing… Actually, he realized, coupled with the prospect of 'getting the kids' becoming a concrete entity, the specter of Lorelai and Mr. Clean continuing their affair of sorts at two in the morning was rather unnerving – too much out of the ordinary, too fast, especially considering his sleepy state. "Lorelai, come to bed," he eventually urged softly.

Lorelai jumped slightly again, as if not expecting Luke to have still been there in the doorway. She protested, "But I…"

"I don't think the bathroom has to be spotless," Luke rationalized, trying his best to persuade her. "If it does, you can get it tomorrow."

Lorelai let out a slow, lengthy sigh, which Luke took as a sign that she didn't need much more convincing and that he was probably on the verge of winning her over. "Come on," he urged, "They'd probably rather see a half-cleaned bathroom than you as a walking zombie."

"I guess…" Lorelai drawled with a forlorn glance at the half-cleaned tub.

Luke knew he had her; "Come on," he repeated gently.

"Fine, you win," Lorelai exclaimed, sneering jokingly at Luke as she pulled herself to her feet. "But you're gonna be the one helping me finish tomorrow morning if I oversleep." She tossed the still soapy sponge into the bathtub, and detoured to the sink with a "Lemme just…" as she began a quick washing of her hands.

As Lorelai rinsed the remainder of the cleaning products from her hands, Luke couldn't help but poke a little fun at the situation as he stood leaning against the doorframe, "This has gotta be a first, right? Cleaning at 2 am? Or, well, cleaning?" he teased.

That just earned him a tongue stuck out at him and a withering glare as Lorelai dried her hands and brushed past him towards the bedroom. "Shut up," she snapped playfully. "You really think I don't want to be sleeping like most normal human beings? I barely even know there's a 2 that's not in the middle of the afternoon. Normally I have better things to be doing in the middle of the night," was Lorelai's initial rebuff, which she conveniently punctuated with a yawn.

But when Luke cozied up behind her as she rifled through her dresser drawers, she stopped the task at hand and amended her previous statement. "Or better _people_ to be doing," she corrected with a suggestive glance over her shoulder.

Not one to ignore that cue, Luke grinned and pulled her backwards flush against him, his hands immediately tracing tantalizing patterns over Lorelai's stomach and his lips brushing her bare shoulder. "But of course."

"Mmm," Lorelai sighed breathily as Luke's hands drifted higher under her shirt and his mouth continued its path up her neck. "Soooo tempting my friend," she murmured, placing her hands over his, "But I _so_ need sleep. And so do you. And these clothes are now gross from bathroom cleaning." And she was back to digging through clothes.

"Right…" Luke muttered dejectedly. So much for that little glimmer of their normal life. For a split second there, it had been back to how it was before. Before Sookie and Jackson, before the kids, before lawyers and social workers and bathroom cleaning products. That silly 'doing people' comment? That was _Lorelai_, and any other time it would have led to silly, goofy, carefree, fun sex. Something they hadn't seen since prior to the accident. But apparently, they still weren't quite back to that yet. He had to wonder how much, if any, of their life together would ever return to what he considered normal. Sex notwithstanding, it would be really nice to get back to normal as best they could, at least in his mind.

But the kids… Would things _ever_ be normal? In any case, Luke figured as he watched Lorelai yank her now-slightly-grungy shirt over her head, their night wasn't going to end on a 'normal' note. So he might as well go all out with the killing of the mood and try and eke a little more information abut the kid thing out of Lorelai. Slipping back into bed, he broached the subject haltingly, "So how'd the, uh, lawyer thing go?"

"Ugh. Madness," Lorelai groaned. Seemingly oblivious to Luke's discomfort with the topic at hand, she rambled on absent-mindedly as she dug through a pile of clothes for clean pajamas, "All these steps and meetings and formalities… It's crazy. They're trying to get everything done quickly, just to get it all settled and everything…"

Quickly… The one word reverberated in Luke's ears. _Quickly?_ What the hell did that mean? "How quickly?" he inquired hesitantly. Not that quickly or not quickly made any difference in the long run, but it could definitely affect the speed at which he'd have to be able to acclimate to the whole situation.

"The adoption won't be finalized yet," Lorelai responded, her voice muffled as she pulled a t-shirt over her head, "But Martha and Davy should be all moved in sometime next week, supposedly…"

"Wow…" _Next week?_ Next week was soon. He was taken aback by the implications, the changes that would inevitably occur. So much so that he barely heard Lorelai's "I know," of agreement as she climbed over him into bed.

Or halfway over him. What finally drew him out of his stupor over 'next week' was the fact that Lorelai had neglected to complete her task of making it to her side of the bed and had flopped down mid-maneuver, remaining half-draped over him, her head resting on his chest. Momentarily pushing questions about 'next week' from his mind, he poked her side, "You're gonna keep going right?"

When he then felt Lorelai smile against his chest and mumble a muted "Mmph, too tired," Luke had to crack a grin in spite of himself. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad. _Different_ wasn't necessarily _bad_…

As he remained quiet, despite having initially protested over her flopping on him, Luke reveled in the feeling of comfortable familiarity that having Lorelai draped over him elicited.

Lorelai had obviously been expecting Luke to play along and playfully shove her off of him, for as his silence persisted, she lifted her face from where it had been smushed against his chest to peer at him inquisitively.

With those big blue eyes focused on his, all Luke could think was that she must be able to read his own so clearly; she must know how unsettled the thought of 'quickly' was making him, never mind the fact that he had no idea where he stood in the scheme of 'quickly' and whatever would follow 'quickly.' But, he reminded himself, it was all technically her thing. Did he really have any right to be uneasy with 'quickly'? Just last night he'd been the one babbling on and on about how he was always going to be there, always going to be supportive… And, as evidenced by the fact that she was already driving herself nuts enough to be cleaning behind the toilet at 2 in the morning, Lorelai didn't need him laying all of his insecurities and questions on her. Not right now…

As far as 'quickly' and whatever Lorelai might have designated his role to be, he'd have to cross that bridge when he came to it. In the meantime, there was always Alka-Seltzer for those flip-flops in his stomach…

"I love you."

Those words drew Luke back out of his head; Lorelai had folded her hands under her chin and was gazing up at him, those big blue eyes wide with what he could only discern to be appreciation. _Appreciation_. Yep, supportive Luke would have to be it…

"Me too," he murmured, forgoing all thoughts of pushing her off him, all thoughts of 'quickly', and pulling her even closer to him – if it was even humanly possible. "Me too."

* * *

Staying up so late had taken a toll on Lorelai, and when he'd gotten up to head to the diner, Luke had apparently turned off the alarm with the intent of letting her sleep in a bit. So she was already behind her intended cleaning schedule when she made her way into the kitchen the next morning.

"Yo Ror!" Lorelai called into Rory's room as she headed towards the refrigerator. "You up?"

"Yeah," Lorelai heard Rory grumble from behind her closed door. "I'm coming,I'm coming," Rory muttered, her early-morning griping growing louder as she opened the door and emerged from her room. "I have to leave soo-" She stopped mid-sentence when she stepped into the kitchen, obviously not prepared for the sight of Lorelai on her knees in front of the refrigerator, "_What_ are you doing?"

Not even bothering to turn around as she addressed Rory, Lorelai continued with her 'open-sniff-dump' inventory of take-out containers and Tupperware as she said, "Well those damn scrubbing bubbles didn't magically show up last night after Luke convinced me to sleep, so here I am."

Rory's response was a befuddled "Huh?"

"Right, right," Lorelai nodded after a short pause to take in Rory's confused state, "You were zonked out when I got in yesterday." With a shrug she turned back to the fridge. "Social worker coming today," she clarified nonchalantly.

"Why?" Rory cocked her head, her brain obviously not quite processing at full speed given the morning hour.

From somewhere behind an old pizza box, Lorelai's terse reply could be heard, "Lawyer said so."

"Why already?" Rory wondered aloud as she crept closer to her mother to examine what exactly was coming out of their refrigerator.

"Kids coming next week," Lorelai replied in the midst of a grimace at some fuzzy salsa. "Blech."

Rory smirked as the salsa got tossed along with some equally fuzzy sour cream. "So you're against complete sentences now?"

"No, sorry," Lorelai apologized sheepishly as she finally sat back on her heels and turned to Rory. "Ok, so I told Colleen yesterday, called Dad, found a lawyer, had a zillion meetings," she explained hurriedly, "And now there's a social worker from the Department of Family Services coming today."

"Wow," Rory gasped quietly, obviously on the same page as Luke had been concerning the rate at which things were progressing.

Lorelai nodded readily in agreement, _Wow_, "I know."

But before Lorelai could get to any sort of expansion on her explanation of the situation, Rory's brain caught up with a few a Lorelai's previous words, thus eliciting a barrage of questions for Lorelai, "Wait, so Grandpa knows? Does Grandma? What'd she say?"

Lorelai grinned wickedly, "Ah, precisely why I wanted to talk to you before you left this morning."

Rory immediately caught that look and squinted at Lorelai skeptically, "Do I hear a foreboding musical score in the background?"

"Uh, you brought that on yourself by bringing up my mother, my friend," Lorelai chuckled.

"But you said Grandpa firs…" Rory started to protest, but thought better of it given her opponent. "Whatever. So what is it that is so important to talk to me about that it's second only to cleaning out the fridge?"

"Ok, well, exhibit A," Lorelai gestured to the growing pile of inedible food behind her, "I have to clean. And exhibit B…." She trailed off – the situation was pretty self-explanatory in her mind. But she continued when all Rory gave her was an expectant shrug, "Uh, let's just leave it at there's an extra two small human beings moving in next week and I have to do a zillion and three things –"

"A zillion and _three_?" Rory's eyebrow flew up.

Lorelai shot back with a grin, "A zillion and four seemed like too much, no?"

Rory conceded, "Of course, my mistake," with a laugh and a roll of her eyes.

"So yeah, a zillion and _three_ things to do," Lorelai repeated. "So I, sadly, regrettably," she drew out, playing it up melodramatically, "can't make it to Friday dinner tonight."

"And Grandma doesn't know," Rory confirmed darkly.

Lorelai shook her head, leaning back into the fridge, "Not if Dad's secretary knows what's good for her and kept her mouth shut."

"You know that's going to be the first thing they ask," Rory pointed out as she folded her arms across her chest.

Lorelai winced guiltily, "I know…"

Rory feigned shock, "So you're sending me, your sweet little one and only offspring to break that news?"

"Yes?" Lorelai squeaked, batting her eyes innocently.

"You _know_ Grandma hates the idea of this…" Rory warned, not that it would make much difference.

Lorelai retreated from the depths of the fridge once again. "I know, I know," she admitted. "But I also know Emily. She'll ask you, get her answer, go back to normal for your sake, and just find another opportunity to ream me out over it." She added a sarcastic eyeroll to punctuate her last comment, and followed it up with a muttered, "Just like every other time…"

Fortunately for Lorelai, Rory was weakening. With a frustrated sigh, she let out one last plaintive whine, "I really have to do this?"

"Please sweets?" Lorelai pleaded, throwing in some whining of her own. "I honestly can't make it tonight either way. And hey, look at it this way," she grinned, "I already got my chance to announce the socially unacceptable baby-getting situation to them when you came onto the scene. Here's _your_ chance."

"Baby _getting_?"

Lorelai stuck her tongue out at Rory's mocking of her word choice, "Well it's not quite the same as having you, now is it? But you _get_ kids from both deals."

After giving Lorelai one last wary once-over, Rory dropped her arms to her side in exasperation. "This is _so_ going on the list," she groused.

"I know," Lorelai cried, breaking into a wide smile, "I owe ya."

"Yeah, yeah…" Rory brushed off Lorelai's words, choosing to cash in on that shaky promise sooner rather than later. "Here, owe me this," she said as she headed to her room to gather her bags for work, "Have Luke bring some pie here for when I get home? I'll need it after Grandma."

Lorelai grabbed for another questionable take-out container as she laughed at Rory's demand. Opening the Styrofoam box, she wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Umm, there's pie in here…"

Inside her room, Rory unintentionally mimicked her mother's facial expression at the thought of any pie that had been hiding amongst the leftovers. "Let me rephrase," she began patronizingly as she reappeared in the kitchen, "Have Luke bring some pie that's not older than Davy here for when I get home?"

"Yes Ma'am," Lorelai offered in mock salute.

"I gotta go," Rory giggled. And heading towards the front door, she made sure to remind Lorelai over her shoulder, "You owe me…"

"Twenty-six hours of labor," Lorelai shouted after Rory, "You owe _me_!"

Rory's reply echoed from the front hallway, "Uh huh, whatever…"

And Lorelai expected that to be the last of Rory for the morning, but not five seconds later did she hear the quick clicking of Rory's heels as she scurried back to the kitchen.

"Wait, you said Davy and Martha are coming next _week_?" Rory exclaimed, apparently only now catching on to the fact that it wasn't just the social worker who would be showing up a little earlier than she might have expected.

Lorelai nodded in somber confirmation, "Yeah…"

"Wow," Rory breathed, echoing her own sentiment from earlier in the conversation.

"Yeah, that seems to be the consensus," Lorelai replied, a little more bitterly than she'd meant to. It'd have been nice if Rory was a little more supportive in her reaction, but she knew it wasn't fair of her to ask that much from her daughter. It was all as much of an adjustment to her as it was to anyone.

Rory's brow furrowed at Lorelai's comment, "Consensus? Luke?"

Her shoulders slumping as she deflated with a sigh, Lorelai admitted, "Yeah, last night he was just as enthusiastic as you." He hadn't said as much, but she knew…

"No, Mom, it's… fine…" Rory forced out quickly, sensing some possible unease on her mother's part concerning the Luke/kids front. "It's great," she rephrased to sound a little more convincing. "It just seems… soon," she added stiltedly.

Lorelai's face crumpled in defeat – she knew as well as Rory and Luke that this was all happening way too fast, but… "What else can I do?" she asked rhetorically, "Where else are they gonna go? They can't exactly check into the Holiday Inn."

Rory apparently had no answers. All she offered was a halfhearted, "I guess," before grabbing her bags one final time. "I gotta go. See you after dinner… _If_ I survive," she added through playfully narrowed eyes. And then she was off.

"Bye Hun," Lorelai called after her, a weak smile gracing her face. Bless that angel Rory. Without the sense of impending doom she'd have been feeling were she the one still faced with the task of breaking the news to Emily, maybe she could get some of the stuff in the house straightened up. And the stuff in her head, for that matter…

Once Rory left, and Lorelai was able to fully throw herself into cleaning mode, she actually did make a fair dent in the straightening up of the house. She didn't dare confront the precarious piles of books in Rory's room, and every single closet was in full danger of bursting open and releasing an avalanche of junk, but other than that, she was actually pretty proud of herself for making things presentable in such a short time.

Even when the social worker had arrived later that afternoon, that whole process was a lot less painful than she'd anticipated. Fifteen minutes or so of showing her around the house and a little small talk – about her job, plans for the house, and raising Rory – was apparently enough to prove to Connecticut that she could keep children alive and well until they could vote.

Before she knew it, she'd been given the proverbial stamp of approval, the social worker was on her way, and Lorelai was yet again left to her own devices. Had she been a little more ambitious, she might have used the next few hours to attack the overflowing closets so she could call the cleaning job finished once and for all, but, after all, she'd never been one for going the extra mile with respect to tidiness. Closets could wait.

Rather she decided it might be a good time to start looking at the whole ordeal from a numbers perspective. There had been enough speak of wills, trust funds, and all that the day before for Lorelai to have a rough idea of what money would be coming from where and for what. She figured her personal budgeting over the past year or so had made her somewhat of a slacker, what with only her own eating and spending and whatnot to worry about. Having Rory away at school on her parents' tab had taken away the one other person she'd ever had to think about when dealing with finances – having two extra bodies around would take some getting used to for her wallet, especially considering those little bodies went through about a zillion diapers a day, hardly a cost she'd had to worry about with Rory or herself in recent years. Never mind the fact that she couldn't keep them in her bedroom forever… And then there was the whole Inn renovation that she now had to deal with…

So with an initial sigh and a pack of double-stuf oreos, Lorelai ensconced herself in bank statements and budgets for the rest of the evening, pausing only to toss some tater-tots in the oven once dinner time rolled around.

So engrossed was she in her work that when the phone rang, she nearly fell off the chair she'd been perched on at the kitchen table. But as she reached for the handset and glanced at the clock on the microwave, Lorelai's lips curled into a knowing smile. Rory would have probably just left Hartford, meaning Emily's schedule would be free and clear as of right about now. _Bombs away…_ "And here we go," she muttered just before stabbing the 'on' button. "Hello?"

She'd barely gotten the word out when Emily's shrill voice rang out over the line, "Lorelai Gilmore, this is not something…"

"Mom, hi," Lorelai chirped brightly, cutting Emily off, "I'm great, how are you?"

Not to be deterred, Emily wasted no time in getting to further chastising, "Lorelai, this isn't funny."

Lorelai sighed, "It wasn't _meant_ to be."

"Tonight your father and I," Emily continued haughtily, "had the privilege of hearing from your daughter that she will no longer be an only child in your household."

"Mom…"

Typical Emily-style condescending bluntness followed: "Lorelai, have you given this any thought at all?"

"No, Mother," Lorelai broke in, her voice laced with the sarcasm she so often she to resort to when dealing with her parents, "I figured I'd wait to do all my thinking until they're away at college. I figure the tuition bills will be the wake up call, maybe _then_ I realize this was all a horrible idea. Yes, of course I've thought about this!" she cried in exasperation.

"Then how could you possibly be doing this?" Emily exclaimed in utter disbelief.

"You know what?" Lorelai snapped venomously, sick of the same old routine. "I don't have to justify myself to you."

Apparently taken aback by her daughter's biting tone, Emily's own response was only marginally less sharp, "Lorel…"

That response was ignored. "But I will say this," Lorelai stated flatly, "I don't know if you have my old high chair, or the one Rory used there, or both, or what, but if you don't, you might want to get two. Lugging them with me every week doesn't really make sense." She proceeded no further – Emily would know exactly what that meant, and she could take from it whatever she damn well pleased.

Emily Gilmore was not one to lose her composure often, but her spluttered response of "You're not bringing those children to dinners?" told Lorelai she'd hit home with her previous words.

So she just hit harder, "Well, they're _family_ dinners right?" she demanded. "I mean that family obligation crap is what got me roped into them in the first place. And from now on, Martha and Davy are basically gonna be my family whether _you_ like it or not. Sookie asked me to raise her kids, so I am. From now on, we're a package deal. You want me, you get all three," Lorelai declared pointedly before adding, "Your call."

Only silence could be heard coming from the Hartford end of the phone call.

Lorelai pursed her lips smugly as she readjusted the phone on her shoulder, "I figured."

After another few beats of silence, begrudgingly Emily muttered, "I'll see what we have in the basement."

It was Lorelai's turn to be taken aback. "Oh…" she stammered, confused, "Okay…"

Without further fanfare, Emily uttered an abrupt "Goodbye Lorelai," and hung up.

"Bye…" Lorelai mumbled at the dial tone, still not quite believing her mother's apparent one-eighty. Nothing she'd ever said before in her life had gotten through to Emily that quickly. Had she really just agreed, however hesitantly, to be accepting of Davy and Martha?

As she got up from the table to return the phone to its base, she still found herself shaking her head in disbelief. After the outburst at the cemetery, and well, everything else in Emily's track record, the last thing Lorelai had expected was for her to be so quick to say she'd hunt down highchairs to accommodate the kids every Friday. She figured it'd take at least a few weeks of wearing her down before she'd even let them come to dinners, followed by months, maybe even years, of Emily and Richard fully ignoring them even when they did show up with Lorelai and Rory.

She must have had some sort of ulterior motive, no? Lorelai wondered. Maybe Rory would have some insight once she got home; she'd been the one to witness the initial reaction in person, after all.

But, Lorelai realized, as she absentmindedly began gathering up the paper work still scattered over the kitchen table, she'd never made any progress in her life trying to figure Emily and her motivations for doing anything. Another effort to do so would be just as futile, and the last thing she needed was one more thing to worry about and add to the permanent migraine she had a feeling would be setting in soon.

Adoption details and trying to make sense of her new make-shift family, as it were, whomever she was counting as part of it or not, was going to be trying enough over the next week. She'd just have to deal with things as they came… Emily, Martha, Davy… _Luke_…

Oh yeah, the migraine was definitely setting in.

**To be continued…**


	7. Chapter 7

**In a Flash**

**See part 1 for description, disclaimer, pairing, etc.**

**Look everyone, another chapter, and less than 6 months after the last one! I'm doing my best to keep moving on this, but I make no promises as far as how fast future updates will appear. But there _will _be updates – I have no intentions of dropping this story, no matter how busy I get at times – we're just getting to the good stuff :)**

**And thanks so much for the reviews on the last chapter.**

**Of course, another big thank you to my betas, _sosmitten_ and _llanoestacado_ – everything you read here is better because of their help.**

* * *

Lorelai's conversation with her mother on Friday night may have caused her migraine, but the warp speed at which things began progressing over the weekend didn't allow her to pay much attention to it.

Saturday had begun with an early call from her lawyer; apparently everything was kosher and moving along swimmingly. Monday, as he had informed her, would be some official paper-signing and some final meetings to go over details, but once those small chores were completed, Lorelai was to expect the transfer of custody on Tuesday. Colleen had apparently told the lawyers and realtors that she was dealing with that she'd have things wrapped up at the house by then as well, so the timing was perfect. By Tuesday night, the kids would be living at the Crap Shack and Colleen would be on her way back to her own family in Vermont – on her way back to her own normal life. Whereas Lorelai and _her_ life… Well… Yeah. Different story.

In the interest of staying on schedule, Colleen's kids came down from Vermont to help her out over the weekend. One of her daughters showed up around noon with a carful of toys to unload on Lorelai. And, she'd explained to Lorelai and Rory, the rest of the toys, and all sorts of extra clothes and other things would follow over the course of the afternoon and the next few days.

It rattled Lorelai at first, though she had to admit, it was logical of Colleen to want to get the unnecessary stuff out of the way. It was just the first concrete evidence that the kids would be there in a matter of days. And given that it was the weekend and there wasn't much she could do in the way of official paperwork and proceedings, it only made sense to start making headway on all of the unpacking and rearranging of stuff that she'd have to do.

Luckily, Rory had no plans with Logan or any other Yale people made for the day, so Lorelai recruited her to help.

Yanking open a box to reveal an assortment of stubby, plastic kitchenware playset pieces, Lorelai frowned. Holding up a handful of them, she turned to Rory, "Hey, does all this crap strike you as really depressing?"

Rory glanced up from across the room where she was busy weeding through garbage bag upon garbage bag of fuzzy, plush toys. "_This_?" she questioned skeptically.

"Yeah," Lorelai nodded emphatically, dropping the utensils with a flourish. She flopped down on the couch, missing Rory's confusion, "This."

"How does a big smiling baseball qualify as depressing?" Rory asked quizzically, tossing said baseball in Lorelai's general direction. "Or Care Bears," she added as she produced a handful of the furry playthings from one of the garbage bags. Pulling yet another one out, she looked thoughtfully at the plush scowl on its face, "Except for Grumpy Bear, maybe." She shrugged, nonplussed, "Depressing doesn't really go with the territory of baby stuff."

Lorelai just glared incredulously at her daughter, her eyes darting between the half-unpacked toys and Rory's clueless expression. Given the underlying reason for all of the cheery stuffed animals now gracing her living room, how could Rory think it was anything _but_ mind-numbingly depressing?

With realization dawning on her face as she followed Lorelai's gaze and looked around the room again, Rory conceded, "Well, yeah, the situation is kind of a downer, but… the stuff?"

"I know the story behind every single one of your toys," Lorelai sighed as Rory took a seat next to her. "All the books? Your reading level had passed mine by the time you were seven," she reasoned, trying to explain where she was coming from. "Colonel Clucker? The only stuffed animal I could afford that your moody little two-year old self wasn't afraid of."

Rory snorted, "What was I afraid of?"

"Um, hello?" Lorelai cried, jokingly aghast that Rory wasn't remembering something so highly mockable from her childhood. "Ernie and Bert, apparently."

"And I was right!" Rory exclaimed, though whether or not she actually remembered her childhood fear, Lorelai couldn't tell. "You saw the evil Bert website!"

Lorelai giggled in response, though she quickly fell silent as the gravity of the situation weighed down upon her once again. Turning to Rory, she laid it out as plainly as she could. "I know all the stories behind all your old toys. Every little stain, rip, tear," she began. "This stuff?" she held up the same plastic kitchen set, "Nothing." What happens when Martie's nine, cleaning out all her old clothes to make room for some horrible tween wardrobe and wants to know why she owns an apron, size 6 months?" Lorelai didn't even miss a beat, answering her own question pointedly, "Because your mom got it for you before she died. Or hey Davy," she chirped, "All your disturbing fuzzy plush fruits and vegetables? From your _dad_. Before he _died_." Lorelai's diatribe grew more and more animated, with more and more emphasis on chosen words as more and more examples came to mind. "The blocks?" She pointed across the room to Davy's wide variety of both wooden and plastic building toys, "Dad again, before he _died_. The kid-sized plastic kitchen? Mom, before she _died_."

"Ok, ok… I get it, I get it," Rory said, urging Lorelai to stop. And suddenly looking rather melancholy, she reached for a fuzzy red arm that was sticking out of the bag she'd been grabbing Care Bears from only a moment ago. Regarding the googley-eyed smile staring back at her, Rory weakly tossed the toy to Lorelai in defeat, "Who knew even Elmo could be depressing?"

That question Lorelai chose not to answer. As much as she'd tried to make it a joke to get Rory to understand, the sight of all the toys, all the stuffed animals, all the _everything_, that Sookie and Jackson had bought their kids with the intent of getting to watch them play with them, grow up with them, and eventually grow out of them – it really was sickeningly depressing. She almost couldn't bear to look at them at all anymore.

"We need new toys," Lorelai declared suddenly, leaping off the couch with a gleeful clap of her hands.

"What?" Rory asked, her face scrunched up in confusion.

"Shopping!" Lorelai cried as she grabbed Rory's hands and pulled her up off the couch.

"Okay!" Rory's wide grin matched Lorelai's as she bounced happily alongside her, caught up in the sudden enthusiasm. It lasted only a second or two; Lorelai could see the rational side of her daughter catching up to her. The excited 'okay' was soon followed up with a perplexed, "Wait, what?"

Of course, Lorelai had her answer ready and waiting. "Toys!" she exclaimed, still grasping Rory's hands.

"Okay…" Rory drew the word out slowly, her skepticism evident.

"You need clothes and shoes on," Lorelai directed, hurriedly shoving the still pajama-clad Rory toward her room. "Quick, you change, and meet me at Luke's. He's gotta come too," she added with a wicked grin.

Rory scoffed, "Luke won't come."

Not one to let her parade get rained on, especially when it was helping her ignore the harsh reality behind those toys, Lorelai insisted, "I'm getting a head start – by the time you get there, he'll be dragging _me_ to the store."

Rory shook her head with a weak smile, and offered a mild admonition as she gestured at the toys strewn about the living room, "Mom, this is crazy…"

"Oh, come on," Lorelai pleaded, "We need those stupid plastic stopping-of-the-finger-putting-in-the-electrical-outlet plug-y things anyway. And other Davy-proofing stuff," she added, adamant in her decision to go shopping and to go shopping now.

It was convincing enough; Lorelai immediately recognized the sigh of defeat Rory let out as she headed to her closet.

Even as she pulled clothes out in order to get dressed and go along with Lorelai's ad hoc shopping scheme, Rory tried unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh of disbelief. "I love how toys are the priority over safety measures," she snickered.

Lorelai was already halfway to the front door by the end of Rory's sentence, but that didn't mean she didn't catch the whole thing. Skidding to an awkward stop on the slippery wood floor, she pulled a quick u-turn to poke her nose back in Rory's room. "Not a priority," she clarified with a smirk, "Just a bonus."

* * *

Across town, Luke sat in the nearly-empty diner, elbow on the counter and chin propped up in his palm. Normally a slow shift that Caesar covered on his own, Luke was handling that day's lunch hour with Lane, as he still owed Caesar time off after he had kept things running during the funeral planning-stages. But, for whatever reason, even fewer people than normal had showed up, and Lane was off with a walkman at one of the corner tables, painstakingly critiquing a tape of the band's last performance with one of her bandmates.

Which left Luke to his own devices. Not even Kirk had surfaced to distract him, which was proving to be a dangerous thing. Various scenes from the previous few days flashed through his mind over and over, accompanied by that persistent nagging voice that insisted upon reminding him that he still really had no idea what the deal was with Lorelai getting Sookie's kids

He'd fully intended to confront her about everything last night – he'd have brought home burgers for her and Rory, conveniently forgetting the requisite fries. Rory, obedient, sweet girl that she was, not to mention as much of a glutton for fried potatoes as her mother, would have yielded to his request that she be the one to go pick up more from the diner. She'd have run into Lane, they'd have gotten distracted by one thing or another, and he and Lorelai would have had some serious one-on-one time to discuss everything. Everything – hash out every little detail of how things were going to work, who was who to those kids, who would be doing what, and where each who would be doing those whats. And what all of the whos and wheres and hows would mean for their relationship.

But, of course, it had been a Friday night, and closing in on the end of the school year, so he'd been swamped with hordes of hungry teenagers celebrating no more homework. Not to mention that Lane had begged out on him at the last minute for some impromptu gig in Hartford. So instead of being able to leave a relatively slow diner in the hands of Lane and Caesar, he'd been stuck there all evening. And by the time closing had rolled around, he'd written the night off as a lost cause, had sent Caesar home a little early, and finished up closing himself.

So he'd arrived home – arrived at _Lorelai's_ home, he corrected himself – too late to give Rory the pie she was owed, and when he'd finally crept upstairs to Lorelai's room, he'd found her already asleep as well.

Luke hadn't been able to bring himself to wake her; he'd just been relieved that she'd been in bed of her own accord rather than frantically straightening up the garage, or sweeping the chimney, or whatever else she'd yet to hit with her whirlwind cleaning frenzy. So he'd quietly slipped into bed beside her, once again placing the talk he knew they so desperately needed to have on the back burner.

What he hadn't been prepared for was a fully-awake Lorelai. As soon as he'd gotten himself under the covers, she'd rolled over almost immediately, tucking herself up against him without a word. Unexpected, perhaps, but he hadn't been about to complain; as with the night before, he was able to take comfort in her physical presence, despite the fact that there were still hurdles to be jumped on the communication front.

He'd even been pleasantly surprised when, Lorelai, perhaps taking cues from his own ill-fated attempt at seduction the night before, had begun brushing her lips over his neck, her fingertips raking over his t-shirted chest.

Luke wasn't normally one to put off the inevitable. The sensible side of him had actually mulled, for a split second or two, the idea that he should stop Lorelai, and since they were both actually awake and functioning, just get everything about Davy and Martha and their situation out in the open.

In the end he hadn't. Stopped her, that is. The inevitable was just that, and they would still have opportunities to straighten things out. So he'd yielded to Lorelai's insistent hands, her fiery kisses… And while Luke certainly hadn't minded the outcome of the turn of events there in bed, he didn't even so much care that they'd had sex. He was mostly relieved that he'd come home to a smidgen of normalcy. It wasn't exactly out of the ordinary for her to jump him, half-asleep, on his late nights – rather, it was far more routine than any of the insanity he'd been faced with upon arriving home over the past few nights. First she'd had the kid bomb dropped on her – they iall/i had, to tell the truth – then she'd hit him with her decision the next night, and then last night with the cleaning and the revelation that the kids would be arriving 'soon'… Compared to that, sex was normal.

By the time Saturday rolled around and he was left to ponder all of that in the diner, the general uneasy feeling he had about everything still hadn't settled. In all honesty, Luke was actually a little apprehensive about what he might find back at the house later that night. What _else_ was moving forward at lightning speed behind his back? At the rate things had been going up until last night, he wouldn't have been completely shocked to find the kids moved in there already.

He shivered involuntarily at the thought. Things couldn't be moving _that_ quickly, could they?

Luke was drawn out of his musing by the soft jingle of the bell on the door. From his place at the counter he glanced up, fully willing to grab some menus and get back to actually working if he thought it would help ease his unsettled mind a little.

No such luck; Lorelai raced across the diner to him, a giddy smile on her face as she grabbed for his hand.

"Luke!" she exclaimed animatedly, "We have to go shopping!"

"Shopping?" he echoed in mild disbelief. She wanted to go shopping. She finally had some free time, and she wanted to use it to go shopping? What about _talking_? "I hate shopping."

Lorelai just rolled her eyes, "I know that, but thanks for the reminder anyway. I'm talking _important_ shopping," she stressed, "and you have to come."

Luke snorted, wondering what her definition of important could possibly be. "What, is there some super-mega-clearance sale on sparkly sandals somewhere?" he prodded, climbing off his stool and rounding the counter for the coffee Lorelai would inevitably be demanding any second now. "Or cartoon character brand nail polish? Because I know how important that would be, and you know me, I sure as hell wouldn't want to miss that."

Collapsing unceremoniously onto the stool Luke had just vacated, Lorelai frowned, looking perhaps a little more stung by his remarks than Luke had intended. "No," she clarified hesitantly, just staring down at her hands, with no trace of the enthusiasm she'd bounded in with. "I need to buy some baby-proofing stuff for the house, and I figured I'd go all out and buy them some new toys and stuff too. Kinda like little housewarming presents," she explained quietly. "I thought you could come."

"Oh." _Oh…_ Luke, taken aback by her seriousness, stilled for a moment. He certainly hadn't expected that. "Uh, ok," he finally stammered, "Yeah. Sure. I'll come." He sure as hell didn't want to go shopping, but if Lorelai wanted him there, he'd have to suck it up. And the topical merchandise might actually lend itself to them getting some things out in the open.

Lorelai's head jerked up in obvious disbelief at his words of concession, and Luke was sure he could see the beginnings of a grateful smile tug at the corners of her mouth.

"Caesar will be here soon for the dinner crowd, and Lane can handle things until then, right Lane?" he called across the diner, directing his last words loudly in Lane's direction.

Lane just nodded and gave a thumbs up without even turning around or removing her headphones.

Luke rolled his eyes and turned back to Lorelai. "For the car?" he asked, waving a take-out cup in front of her.

She nodded solemnly, whatever ghost of a smile that had been surfacing a moment ago long gone. Luke didn't know what had brought about the return to her somber mood, but he said nothing as he poured her coffee, opting to see how it played out.

"Look," she eventually started softly, "I know we haven't really tal…"

"Luke!" came Rory's excited cry as she burst into the diner. "Hey Mom! So d'ya talk him in to shopping yet?" she inquired.

Luke barely caught the apologetic half-smile Lorelai shot his way before she turned to Rory and quipped, "I think so, kid. I mean, he barely put up a fight this time."

Rory grinned, and faced him with expectant eyes, "So you're coming, Luke?"

Ah jeez… With Rory around, there was no way Lorelai would want to get down to all the details. So he'd just be stuck shopping. But he'd already agreed… and there was no way he could deny both Gilmores at once.

So just under an hour later, he found himself in Waterbury, tagging along after the Lorelais in the parking lot of the biggest Toys 'R' Us he'd ever seen, and Luke was trying in vain to recall how on earth he'd let himself get roped into shopping for baby toys. He wasn't a shopper in any sense of the word and he sure as hell had nothing to offer in the way of expertise when it came to this kind of junk – a fact that Lorelai certainly knew. Yet there he was…

Did Lorelai's initial plea to get him there really mean something? Did this mean he was supposed to be involved? He hadn't exactly been consulted on anything thus far, but was this his in? The prelude to the long overdue talk?

He didn't get a chance to answer his own questions, for as soon as the trio stepped inside the store, his jaw practically dropped to the floor. "Jeez, how big is this place?" he grumbled with a shake of his head as he looked around at the huge displays of primary-colored junk. "What the hell is this stuff? A slime-maker? Fake tattoos? Candy? All these video games?" he began, "What kid needs all of this useless crap?"

"You forgot bikes and trains," Lorelai cracked playfully, poking him gently in the side.

"Or was it planes?" Rory debated as she wheeled a cart over.

Lorelai paused thoughtfully, "Hmm, good question…"

Luke gave it a minute, alternately trying to figure out what the hell they were talking about and waiting for them to explain. No success on either point, so before they began walking much further into the store, he let out a confused, "What?"

After an incredulous glare, obviously for his lack of knowledge about something that was evidently quite important in the Gilmore world, Lorelai launched into some sort of crazy song using his own words from just a moment ago. "From bikes to trains," she sang gleefully.

"Or planes," Rory piped up.

"Right," Lorelai acknowledged before continuing, "To video games,"

Luke's eyebrows flew up when Rory burst out with another line, "It's the biggest toy store there is."

And back to Lorelai it went, "I don't want to grow up,"

Rory again, "'cause if I did…"

All Luke could do was look in on in disbelief as they then chimed in together gleefully, "I couldn't be a Toys 'R' Us kid!"

His expression was the same one he might have worn had he encountered an alien life form – though a pair of otherwise normal-looking adult women bursting out in song in a toy store wasn't a far cry from alien for him, even given the women doing the singing.

"Jesus!" Luke nearly jumped out of his skin when a gigantic giraffe appeared out of nowhere from behind him and began clapping in appreciation at the girls' song.

By the time he recovered, Luke was the recipient of a patronizing pat on the arm from Lorelai, who shoved the as-yet empty cart in front of him, "Here, you push, that's all you have to do."

Before he could even protest, Rory had dashed off and was squealing something along the lines of, "Mom, Cabbage Patch Kids are back!" Whatever the hell a Cabbage Patch Kid was… Regardless, it meant that Lorelai took off right after Rory, leaving Luke to trail along behind with the cart. He should have known better. He did know better, actually, Luke grumbled to himself. Never go shopping with a Gilmore, never mind two at once. And certainly not in a toy store.

Although, he did admit, when Lorelai shot her reply back to Rory without missing a beat, – "Yeah, but considering they're bigger than Martha is, I think we can hold off there for a while." – having Rory along to feed off Lorelai took a lot of the onus off him when it came to having to keep up with whatever inane dialogue the toys would elicit.

Content to just amble along after them, Luke zoned in and out, only catching bits and pieces of the conversation in front of him. Every once in a while either Lorelai or Rory would scamper back towards him to dump something in the cart – something completely unnecessary that Luke would, of course, eye with disdain.

It was on one of those trips back to drop something off at the cart when Rory paused, lingering closer to Luke. He thought he saw her shoot a guarded glance in his direction before she turned back to Lorelai, speaking tentatively, "Mom?"

Whether Lorelai caught the grave tone her daughter's voice had taken on or not, Luke wasn't quite sure; regardless, the tone in her own voice was just as gleeful as ever, "The weird popcorn roll-y popper thing – it never dies!"

Rory rolled her eyes as Lorelai proceeded to roll the toy noisily back and forth across the aisle. "Mom?" she prodded again, this time abandoning Luke and heading closer to Lorelai.

Luke was sure Lorelai caught Rory's tone the second time; she quickly put the toy down and approached Rory with a concerned expression. "Yeah?" Meanwhile, also curious to see where Rory's change of mood was leading, Luke pushed the cart closer.

"So when do they actually, uh, move in?" Rory asked hesitantly.

Oh, Luke realized. _That's_ where Rory was going. In all the chaos of what was going on, he guessed, Lorelai hadn't even gotten around to explaining to Rory. Or anyone. Because she sure as hell hadn't exactly been forthcoming with new information as far as he was concerned.

Whether he'd been intentionally kept out of the loop or not, he didn't know, but he did know that Lorelai looked extremely uncomfortable with the subject Rory had broached.

"Um…" Lorelai squirmed, guiltily stealing a glance in Luke's direction down the aisle, "I have to meet with lawyers again Monday to finalize some stuff, but if that goes okay, then Tuesday I guess… Yeah, Tuesday."

Luke's sentiments mirrored the soft "Wow" Rory let out, though he chose to remain silent. Still a few feet away with the cart, he didn't think he was meant to be part of the conversation. Lorelai obviously hadn't felt it necessary to fill him in on the subject, he mused darkly.

Lorelai didn't appear to want to have the conversation with Rory either, for she quickly skirted the issue, choosing instead to distract her daughter with some silly singing toy, "I know… Check it out. Kermit singing Caribbean Amphibian."

"Davy or Martha?" Luke heard Rory ask.

"Uh, _me_," Lorelai clarified. "They can have… I don't know, nameless ugly dog on clearance over there," she added snatching said dog from the shelf.

Luke's focus began to drift; he couldn't care less about the random stuffed animal debate going on. What he did care about was the fact that Lorelai, despite all her promises to do this together, was apparently leaving him out when it came to some important details.

"Mom?"

Rory's tone brought Luke back out of his daze; it was the same she'd used just a few moments ago. It was her 'serious' tone.

Trying to not appear overly obvious in his eavesdropping of the conversation he wasn't really sure if he was supposed to be a part of or not, Luke strained to hear where this particular 'Mom' would lead.

"Yeah?" Lorelai answered, the wariness in her voice ringing loud and clear in Luke's ears.

Rory's question, or questions rather, were posed carefully, "How is this going to work?" she inquired. "With the Inn and stuff? Especially after summer's over and I'm not even there in the morning to help out anymore?"

Fair questions, Luke thought, and ones he certainly wouldn't mind hearing the answers to…

After another furtive glance in his direction from Lorelai, she replied, "Ok, uh, first I'm taking some extra time for the first week or so. Then, back to normal, it has to. I'll stick a playpen in my office for Davy, and they must have one of those stupid kangaroo pouch stomach things here that I can use to bring Martha everywhere and still have two hands. I have to, there's too much to do," Lorelai explained with an apologetic shrug towards Rory. Luke certainly didn't miss the fact that other than those few fleeting looks, Lorelai wouldn't look him in the eye. She continued, "We still haven't hired a new chef, and did I tell you part of the will was to have some sort of memorial for them at the Inn? I mean I would have done something anyway, but it's just more work… As much as he thinks he can run the world and take over for me, Michel can't handle everything on his own anymore."

"You can't get a sitter?" Rory wondered aloud.

"Martha's still really little babe," Lorelai sighed, "and you know it's gotta be weird enough for them to even get used to me. Never mind even more people running around. Not like I could afford a full-time sitter anyway." Luke frowned upon hearing that – that was news to him. Not that the rest of her revelations weren't news also, but if nothing else, he'd have expected her to come to him with financial issues. Hell, she'd done that before they were even together. And they _were_ supposed to be in this together, no? Despite his general unease and hesitance toward the whole situation, he'd promised he was in… Was she not?

Rory sounded just as surprised as he was when she replied to Lorelai's comment about finances, "No?"

"Don't think so," Lorelai shook her head. "I probably shouldn't even be here buying all this crap," she added, even as she tossed a musical mobile into the cart.

"How _is_ all the money working anyway?" Rory asked. "And the house, and Jackson's truck and stuff?"

Other things Luke would also like to know about. He craned his neck and picked up his pace as Lorelai rounded the corner into another aisle.

"I barely even know," Lorelai said quickly, almost as if she wanted to get her answer out before Luke caught up. But he still heard… "That's all the crazy complicated legal stuff I can't always follow." She continued hastily, "Technically everything is theirs, but then I'll be their guardian, but right now Colleen is the de facto guardian and next of kin, so she has some say right now… I'm not sure, but I think trust fund stuff has to get set up for them for later, but since they're technically my Inn co-owners, they'll have revenue, but since they're minors and I'm the guardian, it'll just go to me anyway, and I guess that will up the household income enough to cover them for now. And Colleen was working on selling Jackson's truck, and then I can use that cash and the insurance from their other car to get some horrible soccer mom box on wheels for us. Car seats won't fit in the Jeep… That'll have to be tomorrow or Monday, I guess…"

Cars? Trust funds? Luke was floored. He practically had to bring a hand to his face to make sure hismouth hadn't dropped wide open. Lorelai had gotten a lot farther along with the details than he ever could have imagined. Miles and miles farther. And all without so much as a word to him. Since when was she taking the reins herself without as much as a mention to him? What the hell had been happening while he was at the diner? If everything was going to be like that, what the hell was he even doing there? If she wanted to do everything on her own, all she had to do was say so.

He didn't get a chance to ponder those thoughts any further, for as quickly as she'd turned serious in explaining the situation to Rory, Lorelai was back to her comical self, thrusting silly toys in his face with a shout, "Luke!"

"Huh?" Luke shook his head in confusion, trying to shake his growing unease from his mind.

"It's your soul mate," Lorelai exclaimed gleefully, seemingly oblivious to the way her previous words had affected Luke. "Right here in Toddler Land," she waved a box in his face, "Bob the Builder totally stole your flannel look. Davy is _so_ getting one of these. And you should have copyrighted that look a while ago. Then you could have been getting royalties on this crap or something. Too slow…" she lamented jokingly.

And not to be left out, Rory chimed in, "Hey Luke, there's even kids clothes up there. We can get little tiny flannels for Davy."

"That's ok," Luke protested halfheartedly, even as Lorelai dashed away to examine the clothing section.

"Ooh, Rory, check it out – Happy Bunny baby onesies!"

Of course, Rory took off after her. She and Lorelai spent the rest of their time in the toy store giggling over God knows what; Luke didn't bother trying to listen in any further. He'd heard enough. And Lorelai seemed to think that even that was too much.

* * *

Later that night, Lorelai was considerably less lively. Luke, wiped out from a long day of shopping, followed by a long night at the diner and an impromptu dose of dirtiness in bed once he got home, snored softly beside her.

But, drained as she was, Lorelai just couldn't sleep. Instead she sat hugging her knees to her bare chest, not even covered by a sheet as she stared, wide-eyed, down at Luke. It was bugging her, bugging her beyond belief: the fact that she still didn't really know where they stood with each other on the issue of the kids.

Gnawing nervously on her thumbnail, a habit that seemed to have manifested itself over the past week or so, she let her mind wander back to the aisles of Toys 'R' Us. She hadn't meant to get into all the details in the middle of a toy store before talking to Luke directly. But, on the other hand, she couldn't just ignore Rory's questions…

She'd felt horrible the more she'd told Rory – with every question, with every reply, she'd seen Luke pulling away, withdrawing from her and the situation. He'd clammed up, falling quiet the more he'd heard about what was going to happen. In the end, sure, he'd sucked it up and stuck it out in the store without complaint, and she'd appreciated that.

But then, once they'd gotten home, he'd stayed to help put away all of their purchases. It just didn't add up in Lorelai's mind if, given his reaction to her answers in the store, he really felt as she thought he did.

Luke putting away baby wipes and spit-up cloths should have been a perfect situation to broach the subject of Martha and Davy with him, figure out where he was coming from.

But Rory had been there helping too, and Lorelai hadn't exactly felt comfortable having her heart-to-heart with Luke while Rory was right there. And by the time things were put away and arranged, Luke had mumbled some sort of excuse about getting back to the diner. Which, fair enough, she'd reasoned, maybe wasn't an excuse. But she'd waited up as long as she possibly could, rearranging the living room to make room for toy boxes and measuring her room for squeezing in cribs. In the end, she'd been up long after Rory, but she'd still been half asleep again by the time Luke got in.

He'd crept in without saying a word, probably assuming she was asleep. But once he'd climbed in bed next to her, she hadn't been able to keep it in any longer. Not after he'd said absolutely nothing upon hearing some of the plans for dealing with the kids once they'd moved in. His silence had been so disheartening. So she'd rolled over to face him, and in a hushed voice she'd tried to reassure him that this was her thing, she wasn't asking anything of him. The last thing she'd wanted to do was force too much on him and scare him away entirely; reaffirming that this was her thing was all she could think to do.

That hadn't gone over so well either, not in the communication sense anyway. Luke had just brushed her off, trying to shush her by saying how they both needed to get sleep. Of course, Lorelai hadn't heeded his words, and had kept up her verbal onslaught, trying to get any sort of a real response out of him. But he'd kept mum on anything related to Davy and Martha, just as he had in Toys 'R' Us and he'd eventually shut her up with kisses, his tried and true approach.

Lorelai shivered at the memory of Luke's unrelenting lips. And hands. And tongue… It wasn't altogether unlike how she'd worked at seducing him the night before. But that had been her feeble attempt to thank him for being so understanding and cooperative. How the tides had turned – she was beginning to doubt that 'understanding' side of him, and he sure as hell wasn't thanking her for keeping things from him, only to have them shoved in his face in the middle of a toy store.

She shivered again, this time from the chill of a slight breeze passing over her still-damp bare skin. Slipping out of bed, Lorelai quietly sought out her pajamas on the floor, though she half hoped it would be enough to rouse Luke from his slumber.

She so desperately wanted to talk things over… Now, and when Luke had first come in. She really had… Maybe at least explain things a little better than they had been in the store. But Luke had been quite insistent on avoiding the topic, and there was only so much she could do to fend him off.

Or perhaps only so much she _wanted_ to do to fend off his advances – somewhere in the back of her brain she knew that once those kids were in her room, physical encounters would probably be few and far between. And maybe Luke knew that too, she'd rationalized. Either way, Lorelai had given in to him without the having the talk she wanted to have. What she hadn't been quite sure of, even as he'd been easing her shirt, her shorts, his boxers off, was if she had actually wanted it. Even now, she couldn't shake the suspicion that she'd gone along with it merely because she already felt guilty enough over shutting him out during the shopping trip, not to mention forcing all this on him in the first place…

She'd just wanted to _talk_.

And now Luke was asleep…

Lorelai, chewing on her thumbnail again, still couldn't sleep.

* * *

The blows just kept coming the next day, Sunday. Luke was off to the diner at some ungodly hour, so there was still nothing in the way of clearing the air, so to speak. Never mind that Colleen called to let Lorelai know, that with the help of her kids over the weekend, things had gotten ahead of schedule over at Sookie's. The revised plan was to finish up the packing during the day and send Colleen's kids home Sunday night to make sure the youngest was back for school on Monday. Colleen, Martha, and Davy would spend Sunday night with Colleen's parents so that the house could be completely emptied but Colleen could still be close enough to Stars Hollow to tie up the last few loose ends on Monday morning… Long story short, Colleen ended up asking if Lorelai wouldn't mind if Davy and Martha moved in a day early - Monday instead of Tuesday.

Lorelai cringed at the thought – that would mean even less time to get things straight with Luke. But it didn't make sense to force Colleen to stick around any longer than she had to; she couldn't say no.

So instead of spending the rest of Sunday at the Dragonfly, as she had planned, she spent it convincing Luke to help her move in the rest of Davy and Martha's belongings, not to mention all their furniture.

Ah yes, good times - demanding even more of Luke when they hadn't discussed anything yet, and it seemed he didn't want to be very involved in the first place…

A few hours later, most of the flurry of moving activity had passed, and, as she'd been unable to do so herself, Lorelai had sent Rory over to the Dragonfly to check on the status of things.

Of course, that wasn't to say she didn't have an ulterior motive in getting rid of Rory. Luke had stayed to help unpack and set up furniture and she was hoping a little alone time in the light of day might present them with an opportunity to discuss things.

Lorelai looked up nervously from her perch on the bed where she sat re-folding the children's clothes to be put away. Luke was still fighting with one of the rails on Davy's crib. What she couldn't figure out was if the crib was really being that uncooperative, or if it was just bearing the brunt of Luke's frustrations over…other things. He'd hardly said anything all day.

Fiddling with the tiny snaps on one of Martha's little outfits, she toyed with how to approach the subject with Luke. A particularly loud clatter of the crib brought her out of her daze; finally she just blurted it out, "Are you… ok… with this?"

"I think so," Luke replied, his back still to her as he tried the crib rail once again, "I mean, I think it's supposed to slide a little smoother, but other than that, I guess it's right."

"No…" Lorelai corrected gently. He hadn't caught her insinuation, and he certainly hadn't caught the tortured expression she was sure she was wearing. She paused long enough for Luke to look up at her in confusion. "This," she reiterated, giving an emphatic wave to the clothes around her, the crib, the changing table…"_This_."

The look that her words elicited on Luke's face was more than enough to signify that he 'got' it the second time. Lorelai didn't think she'd seen him that uncomfortable and squirmy and 'deer-in-the-headlights' since she'd been making fun of Jess' book over a year ago at Liz's wedding. Not the look she'd been hoping for…

"Oh, yeah…" Luke trailed off almost as soon as he'd started. "Yeah, well, you know, it's your thing, right?" he said eventually, shrugging and pulling himself up off the floor. "The kids, I mean. That's what you kept saying. They're your thing, but I'm here. That's what _I_ said, I'm here."

"Yeah, good…" Lorelai trailed off, assuming that she was supposed to be somehow reassured by those words. But they were no more concrete than anything else that had been said. And not only was Luke still looking rather uncomfortable with the subject at hand, but his words had been almost… _dismissive_.

She forced herself to take a deep breath. If he really did want out, then fine. She'd prepared herself for that. But if he was in, she _had_ to know in what capacity.

Lorelai had just opened her mouth, her lips just pursing together to form the 'b' of a despondent 'but,' when Luke spoke again. "Hey, uh, look, I think this thing is ok," he gestured vaguely in the direction of the crib. "I gotta get back…" Another vague gesture in the general direction of the diner. "Caesar… You know…"

"Right, yeah, diner…" Lorelai nodded numbly as she gave her hollow response, unable to focus on anything but the spot where Luke had just been.

She didn't move until Luke was right beside her, and even then it was not to look at him, it was only to raise her cheek to the oddly perfunctory kiss Luke gave her as he shuffled out the door. She almost didn't hear him when he mumbled hurriedly, from somewhere near the head of the stairs, "See you later."

Sitting there, frozen to the bed, still surrounded by tiny baby clothes, all Lorelai could muster up in response was a muted "Bye" sent faintly in the direction of Luke's retreating form.

Once the impact of Luke's words and actions finally sunk in and Lorelai was able to process thoughts again, she was torn; she didn't know whether to be devastated, offended, or annoyed. Or nothing at all. How was she supposed to take that? That was it? The kids were her thing and he had to get back to the diner?

Her first instinct must have been devastation, for without her even noticing, her eyes had filled with tears. A few stray ones fell from her cheeks and darkened tiny spots on the little purple jumper she still held in her lap. As much as she didn't have the right to expect anything from Luke, she'd wanted – so badly – for him to want to be involved, be part of her makeshift family. Why _didn't _he seem to want that? And if not that, then what _did_ he want out of this situation? What was he expecting here?

Lorelai's sadness flashed into indignant irritation. Her tears turned angry. How could he be so goddamned nonchalant about the whole thing? How could he 'be there' if he wasn't really going to be there? How…

No. No, Lorelai reprimanded herself, squeezing her eyes closed to ward off any further crying of any sort. No. She had no right to be making any sort of demands of Luke. She knew that. And she couldn't – if he was really as against getting involved as he seemed, pushing harder wouldn't make a difference.

She just didn't want to have to be doing everything alone this time.

But it was what it was…

Lorelai allowed herself a few more moments of wallowing before she hastily finished folding Davy and Martha's clothes. For the rest of the night she busied herself with preparations for the next day, pretty much the same as each preceding night.

The difference this time was that Martha and Davy were coming the next day. And that she couldn't bring herself to wait up for Luke to come home. She wouldn't have known what to say.

* * *

Coming down the stairs the next day, Lorelai paused on the landing, letting out a deep sigh as she scanned the living room. A playpen, a bouncy chair, and enough Little Tikes and Fisher Price crap to maintain a moderately-sized daycare center were now crammed into the corner near the TV, plastic plug covers were visible in all the empty outlets. Though they weren't in her direct line of sight, she knew full well that both bathrooms were fully stocked with 'No More Tears' shampoo, talcum powder, and diapers of various sizes, and the kitchen cabinets laden with more canned formula and Gerber products than she knew what to do with. Strollers, both double- and single-seaters, were either by the door or in the hall closet. The crib, a bassinette, and the changing table had been expertly wedged into her newly rearranged bedroom, with her own wardrobe having been relocated to its new residence in the hallway just outside her room.

No, there really was no reason to put it off any longer. Not that that's what she was doing, per se…

Lorelai just wasn't sure that she could put one foot in front of the other and actually force herself to head over to meet Colleen. Until she did that, she could still pretend it was all a dream – that she would be hearing her alarm ring in about five minutes, baby junk nowhere to be seen. But the second she strapped those babies into the back of that snazzy new family-friendly Subaru in the driveway – the family-friendly Subaru her father had strong-armed a dealer into sending over without her even having had a chance to look at – it would all be too real.

More shakily than she expected, Lorelai lowered herself gingerly to sit on the stairs.

What on earth had she been thinking?

She wasn't ready for this – she'd never be ready for this. No one is ever ready to play surrogate aunt to their best friend's kids for the rest of their lives. Much less _her_, Lorelai Gilmore, mother of the kid who had seemingly turned out okay only because the stars must have been particularly well-aligned one morning back in October '84. It was either that or Rory had had some good karma coming to her in this lifetime, so she'd been able to succeed despite the stigma and experiences that inevitably had come with being the daughter of a single teenage mother.

Rory, Lorelai scowled to herself, she really should have pestered her into taking a sick day today. Ever sensible and pragmatic, Rory would have just rolled her eyes at Lorelai, thrown the car keys at her and told her to just suck it up and get it over with.

But Rory was hard at work in Stamford, and Lorelai was still sitting on the stairs in her living room, her motionless gaze a carbon copy of the one that a plush Elmo was eyeing her with from across the room.

And Luke…

Luke.

Not that Luke was particularly gregarious in any circumstance, but since the night that Lorelai had told him of her decision to adopt the kids his verbal output had been distinctly sub par.

Even now, in the proverbial calm before the storm, Lorelai still couldn't quite nail down where Luke stood on everything. Or anything. Why did he want to keep their lives so separate? Did he really not want this? All that she had to go on were Luke's reassurances from that first night that he wasn't going anywhere, and a somewhat less-than-convincing reiteration of that fact when she'd tried to broach the subject again yesterday.

She knew it wasn't fair to ask so much of him, not when things were moving so fast. To be honest, things were moving too fast, even for her, never mind for stick-in-the-mud, stuck-in-a-rut Luke. Hell, normally parents had eight or nine months to adjust to the concept of sleepless nights, lack of sex, and taking responsibility for the lives of tiny little people. They'd not even had eight or nine days to deal with whatever was coming.

And then there was the fact that she and Luke weren't actually _parents_ either…

Sure, maybe her role would be the mother-type figure, but Sookie would always be their mother. Lorelai knew there was no way she could ever replace her, and nor did she really expect to feel quite the same kind of motherly devotion to those kids as she did with Rory. She was just good old goofy Aunt Lorelai – but that was the best those kids were going to do.

But she certainly couldn't expect Luke to jump headfirst into any sort of parental, fatherly role at all. This had been her decision, and she certainly didn't want him to feel any more shanghaied than he probably already did. Sure, she might have to ask for his help every once in a while… It'd be nice if seemed a little more willing… He'd come around, right? Maybe?

"Fuck!" she burst out, burying her face in her knees. A load of crap, all of it. She had no fucking clue how anything would play out past the next few minutes. Not the logistics, not the finances, not her relationship with the kids, not her relationship with Rory, and certainly not her relationship with Luke. Who in God's name was she kidding? If there was ever a scenario that exemplified 'flying by the seat of your pants' more than this one, Lorelai sure as hell couldn't think of it.

With one last rueful once-over of the living room, Lorelai dragged herself to her feet. There was no use putting off the inevitable, and she sure as hell wasn't making any progress trying to sort things out in her head either. So she might as well get going, right? Her purse there… Car keys here… She gathered the few things she needed – everything else that would be necessary in the immediate sense, like car seats and the Snugli pouch for toting Martha around, were with the kids and Colleen…

Nope, no putting it off any longer – there was no other way to procrastinate. Life was about to change forever, Lorelai reminded herself, and that's all there was to it.

It was still a few more minutes after that little realization before she was able to force herself out the door and into the car. But once finally on the road, Lorelai found herself at Sookie's in no time at all.

Colleen was at the door before Lorelai even made it into 'park.' Probably a good thing, Lorelai admitted inwardly as she climbed out of the car. Otherwise who knew how long she'd have sat there in the driveway, yet again putting off the inevitable, just staring at the house she'd come to know only as Sookie's, then Jackson's as well, followed by the rest of the little Melvilles. A wave of sadness washed over her as she realized, for the umpteenth time, that soon the house would be sold, would just be someone else's, and that those little Melvilles would be living with her instead of their parents…

Lorelai's depressing train of thought was interrupted when she was greeted with a subdued "Hi," from Colleen.

"Hey," Lorelai responded in kind, unsure of the standard protocol for taking orphaned children away from the few blood relatives they had left. Here I am to take your family away from you forever… No, probably not the best approach…

In place of those awkward words, it was an awkward silence that hung in the air between the two women as Colleen opened the screen door and led Lorelai inside.

What eventually broke the tense silence was Lorelai's slight gasp, which escaped her mouth of its own volition as she took in the sight of Sookie's nearly vacant house. "Wow, you really did get things done in here," she commented to Colleen. And she had. All that remained, at least from what Lorelai could make out, was a small array of legal documents, checklists, and a few cartons of last-minute odds and ends collected around a small folding table in the corner of the living room. Obviously most of the kids' items had already been relocated to the Crap Shack…

Except the kids, of course.

For the time being, Davy played quietly on the floor next to his car seat while Martha, apparently having just been woken up by Lorelai's entrance, began to fuss sleepily in her own car seat. Just beside the door lay an oversized teddy bear print diaper bag, Martha's carrying pouch draped haphazardly over the top of it.

Colleen nodded lamely in response to Lorelai's earlier observation, the original comment clearly not requiring an in-depth reply. She then shrugged, motioning to the kids, seemingly of the mind to just get everything over with. "So I guess we should get these seats strapped in?" she proposed.

Lorelai nodded dumbly, the fact that neither child had paid any mind to her when she entered not lost on her for even a second. And she was going to have them live with her? 24 hours a day from now until forever? When they couldn't even be bothered to look up when she walked into the room? _Why_, again, had she agreed to do this?

She didn't really get a chance to ponder that thought, however, as not ten seconds later, Colleen looped the diaper bag strap over Lorelai's shoulder, and shortly after placed Martha, who was none to happy at having had her nap disturbed, into Lorelai's arms.

But as luck would have it, the little girl's wriggling and wailing were all Lorelai needed, at least for the moment, for Lorelai's maternal instinct to kick into auto-pilot – she immediately took to rocking Martha gently, shushing her quietly as she held her close.

Call it their first bonding moment, Lorelai's first small victory, or simply a happy accident – regardless of how it happened or why, Lorelai let out a soft sigh of relief when Martha's tense little body relaxed against her chest and the child's wails quieted to only the slightest of whimpers. Maybe, Lorelai dared to let herself wonder, maybe, just maybe, this could all work…

By that point, Colleen had already made a trip to the car with the two car seats and was returning to corral Lorelai and the two kids outside.

"Hey Lorelai, I brought the seats out, but the doors were locked," Colleen informed her as she scooped up the last of Davy's toys from the floor. "I think this is everything now, so if we head out and unlock, I can show you how to get those things buckled in."

Lorelai's obedient "Sure," ended up being inconsequential, as before her muddled mind could get the response out, Colleen was back out the door and leading Davy to toddle close behind her.

"Guess this is it," Lorelai mumbled, to Martha, or to no one in particular at all. The slight spike in confidence that she'd felt after successfully quieting Martha had quickly waned, and had by now been replaced by the persistent anxiety and apprehension that had thus far pervaded the entire day for her.

But as she'd told herself before, there was nothing more she could do. She had to hold her head high, march out there with Martha in her arms, and pretend to all the world that she was in any way prepared for what was to come.

So she did. She had to.

Tiptoeing down the porch stairs so as to not jostle Martha any more than necessary, Lorelai dug around in her pockets for the car keys. In trying to juggle the baby and the keys, she fumbled with the keychain-button-controller thingie. Even when she got a good hold on it and pressed what she thought was the 'unlock' button, Colleen's attempt to open one of the back doors led only to the enraged honking of the security system.

Which was of course followed shortly by more screams from Martha. The combination of the car's noise and the tightening of Lorelai's grip on her when Lorelai herself jumped in response to the honking proved to be too much for her sleepy little self to handle. Even Davy, previously engaged by playing with the buckles on his car seat as it rested on the ground next to him, had startled at the noise and looked to be on the verge of tears as well.

"Shit, sorry…" Lorelai apologized, frantically pressing various buttons as often as she could, and in any combination that she could, in order to shut the stupid alarm off. "Stupid fucking Subaru…"

Once the car finally stopped honking and Colleen tried the door again – this time successfully, Lorelai apologized again sheepishly. "Sorry… I'm just still used to the Jeep, I guess…" She was sure her cheeks were flaming red. Not even able to manage a simple car alarm, Lorelai cringed inwardly. That probably hadn't won her any points with Colleen. She could just imagine a whole horde of Melville aunts, uncles, and cousins leaping in out of nowhere to yank the kids back from her incompetent self before they'd even come 100 into her care. Subconsciously, her gaze actually darted across the lawn. No rampant relatives coming to reclaim the kids. _Yet_, she reminded herself darkly.

But, Colleen actually seemed rather unperturbed by the alarm incident. Less than Davy and Martha, to be sure. Her smile was one of understanding and sympathy as she directed Lorelai over to the rear driver's side door where Martha's car seat rested.

It took just a few moments to get the two seats installed – a feat Lorelai was only partially sure she'd be able to replicate on her own – and just another couple of seconds to buckle Davy and Martha into their respective places. The diaper bag, few toys, and infant pouch were tossed into the passenger seat and that was that. Transaction complete. Wham-bam-thank you ma'am, thanks for coming and have a nice day. All Lorelai had to do was say goodbye to Colleen and the three would be on their way. But how exactly was that conversation supposed to go? Thanks for the kids, see ya?

Lorelai lingered slightly longer than necessary as she leaned into the car to place the diaper bag on the seat. Rifling around in the bag, she figured the guise of searching for a pacifier for the still-fussy Martha would buy her a few extra seconds of thinking up something to say. But Colleen had seemed to read her mind. "Pacifers should be in the big front pocket," the older woman offered almost immediately.

"Thanks," Lorelai mumbled, reaching into said pocket and locating all-too-quickly a colorful Winnie-the-Pooh pacifier, which she promptly shoved into Martha's mouth. And with nothing left to busy herself with, Lorelai withdrew slowly from the car, and stood up to face Colleen, "So…."

She was more than a little surprised when Colleen pulled her into a tight hug. "Do you know how great you are for doing this Lorelai?" Colleen asked, releasing Lorelai.

Lorelai just shrugged, her feet shifting uncomfortably, "It's what they wanted, right?" But she knew, even as the words were coming out of her mouth, that she probably should have played that a little more convincingly.

Colleen's eyebrows shot up in mild alarm, exactly the reason Lorelai knew she needed to have been a little more enthusiastic with her previous statement. "But is it what _you_ want?" Colleen urged questioningly. "I don't want them growing up feeling like a burden, and neither would my brother."

"Well, _no_, it's not what I want," Lorelai admitted instinctively, only to have Colleen's expression turn even more doubtful. Hurriedly continuing to remedy that, Lorelai explained hastily, "What I _really_ want is for Sookie and Jackson to be fine and for these guys," she gestured to the backseat of the car, "to be living with their parents as one big happy family."

Colleen's face softened at that, and she nodded in quiet agreement as Lorelai spoke again.

"But that's not really an option, now is it?" And with a fervor that took even herself by surprise, Lorelai resolved adamantly, "So then, yes. This is what I want."

And to some degree it really was. Sure it would take a ton of adjusting, and sure it would rock the status quo of her life, as well as Rory's and Luke's, but… She'd have Martha and Davy. Maybe it was silly of her to think so, but having those two around would forever be a way to hang on to Sookie and Jackson. She could just imagine what it would be like when Martha was older, maybe turning out to be clone of Sookie that people claimed Rory was of her. Maybe she'd feel different in the future, but right now, the thought of having the kids as that connection to her friends was comforting.

And…

And it meant she'd get to do the kids thing again. Forced upon her by an awkward twist of fate, yes, but, she admitted to herself reluctantly, having the little guys around would be a good thing.

Somewhere deep down, hiding among those things that a person doesn't even admit to themselves, Lorelai knew that she hadn't gotten pregnant after her drunken, sans-road-blocks, New York City limo escapade night with Luke. Maybe luck, maybe just a fluke – it _was_ only one time… Ok, a _few_ times, but only one night – with all the road blocks down, after all. But she was 37. And at 37, she couldn't completely squelch the thought that maybe there was something to the not getting pregnant. She sure as hell wasn't 16 anymore. Maybe this was fate's way of saying 'You ever want kids in any manner, this is it. Take it or leave it.' Plus, Sookie, for whatever reason, had wanted it this way too, wanted _her_ to care for her children.

Lorelai wanted to take Martha and Davy to satisfy her best friend's wishes, she wanted to take them for the sake of their own best interests, and she wanted to take them because she wanted to take them.

Colleen may not have heard the running commentary in Lorelai's head, but Lorelai hoped that the tone of her insistent resolution was enough to convince her of the sincerity of her words. "They're not a burden," she added for good measure, "and that's the last thing I'd want them to feel like either." With a roll of her eyes, Lorelai added, "I got enough of that myself growing up."

That elicited a smile from Colleen, who, over the past week or so, had heard enough snippets of stories and allusions to the Gilmore family to understand the sentiment in Lorelai's words. "I never asked, how did your parents react to this news?" Colleen asked, obviously satisfied enough by Lorelai's motivations to depart from the subject.

"Ugh," Lorelai groaned, grateful for the reprieve from trying to keep herself convinced that she'd made the right decision, but not altogether thrilled at being reminded of the fact that she still wasn't one hundred percent sure where her parents stood on the issue. "To be determined, I guess," she grimaced at the thought, recalling Emily's initial reaction on the phone. "We've got family dinner on Friday, and these guys are going to have to come too," she paused, gesturing to the car. "Maybe my parents will go easier on me if there are little innocent kids around."

Colleen chuckled at the statement, but an uneasy silence fell over the two women once again.

Now or never Gilmore, now or never…

Lorelai knew she had to suck it up and just get it over with. Sever the ties completely and just venture out on her own once and for all, no more hand-holding.

A quick glance down at the kids, who were growing visibly more agitated in the car, gave her the opportunity she needed. Sticky New England summer was already in full swing, making any extended period of time in a car that didn't have the A/C blasting less than a picnic. "I should probably get going," she started haltingly. "It's probably getting pretty sauna-ish in there, and I'm thinking they weren't looking for a good steam today."

"Right, right, of course," Colleen agreed readily. "You should go. And I should get those last few things and head home too. The realtor will be dealing with the rest, I think." For a moment it seemed that Colleen might just back away and leave the new 'family' of sorts to themselves. But she hesitated a bit, eventually giving in and moving towards the rear door of Lorelai's car, "Let me just…" Pulling open the door on Davy's side, she leaned in over the little boy. "You be good for Lorelai kiddo, okay?" she asked, giving Davy a little tickle on the stomach. "Bye sweetheart." Davy just giggled and gave a little wave, understanding only one thing of what his aunt had said. "Bye bye!" He shrieked, "Bye bye!"

Colleen gave him a weak smile before closing the door and rounding the car to the driver's side, with Lorelai close behind. Once again, Colleen opened the rear door, this time leaning in over the backwards-facing infant seat to place a kiss on top of Martha's head, "You too sweetie." With that, she backed out of the car and stood straight in front of Lorelai. "Good luck, Lorelai," she said, again pulling Lorelai into a hug of thanks. "Give it a couple of days, but keep in touch to let us know how things are going, okay?"

Lorelai nodded solemnly, the weight of what she was about to do resting heavily on her shoulders. As Colleen backed away from the car towards the house, Lorelai slid herself into the driver's seat, thankful that her mind's autopilot mode made sure she got herself buckled in, mirrors adjusted, and the key in the ignition. Left to her own devices, she probably wouldn't have made it to anything beyond collapsing into the seat. Even so, she stared blankly at the steering wheel for a few moments, forcing herself to take deep, calming breaths. Of course, all the while, her brain was screaming 'Life-altering event here… Run far far away!'

She took a few more deep breaths and spent a couple of seconds with her eyes squeezed tightly shut, mentally forcing herself to get a grip – Deal with it Gilmore, you survived Rory before you could even drive, this is nothing…

Her eyes flew open and her gaze darted to the rearview mirror. Davy was still waving animatedly at Colleen, and Martha, she could see, with the help of an extra baby mirror angled towards the rear-facing seat, had settled down and was staring wide-eyed off into space as she sucked contentedly on the pacifier.

When Martha's big gray eyes met hers in the series of mirrors, something clicked for Lorelai. This was it, and these kids were hers. Before today, Lorelai had considered her life to have had two phases: pre-Rory and Rory. This was phase three, and it was starting now.

She gave Martha a little smile in the mirror, and with a renewed sense of commitment she pulled out of Sookie's – well, Sookie's old – driveway. She could do this. She could do this…

Once they were in motion, Lorelai's hesitance failed to resurface. It was apparently just the initial push that she'd needed. And it was an uneventful drive; it only took a few minutes to reach Lorelai's house. There was one minor stumbling block when they reached the driveway – Lorelai hadn't pre-planned a strategy for juggling both kids and their stuff when getting out of the car, and she didn't exactly want to get ambushed by Babette in the process of working out that strategy. In the end she managed relatively quickly, first fighting with the carrier pouch to get in on her own body, then fighting with it to get Martha into it. Diaper bag and purse on the shoulder were next, and rather than trying to literally juggle the two kids, she just led Davy by the hand across the lawn, complete with the contorting of her back that it required to reach down to his level.

Not bad, she congratulated herself sarcastically. Not that there wouldn't be plenty of time to improve upon her maneuvers…

Dealing with house keys proved to be easier than car keys, and in no time at all, the trio was in the Crap Shack.

Initially Davy wandered slowly around the vestibule, taking in his surroundings, but apparently preferring not to wander too far from the adult presence in the room, despite Lorelai not being the adult presence he was used to.

Lorelai watched him in amusement for a moment before she set down the bags she was still holding. She was a bit fuzzy as far as what to do next, but standing in the doorway wasn't going to accomplish anything. So she sidestepped Davy, coaxing him to follow her as she made her way into the living room.

That was all it took for Davy. A couple more steps and no more shyness, no more lingering in the doorway, no more clinginess – he spotted his toys across the room and took off, letting out a squeal of delight as he raced over to them. Having been separated from them during the packing phases, he was thrilled to see them again, and let Lorelai know as much with an exuberant "Buh?" as he held up a bedraggled stuffed bear to show her.

Tears sprang to Lorelai's eyes momentarily at the sight; one little innocent gesture from an eighteen-month-old hit her harder than most everything else in the past week and a half. She smiled weakly at him, nodding, "Yeah, buh."

But as Davy quickly returned to digging through his toys, barely registering that Lorelai had replied at all, Lorelai's sudden sorrowful emotion faded.

This was it… This was life now; it slowly sank in as Lorelai gazed blankly at Davy and his bear. He was fully enthralled by the mix of his old favorites and the new Toys 'R' Us purchases scattered amongst them. He was fully content to play alone, and Martha, asleep in the pouch, was apparently content to just use her left boob as a pillow. And a drool-catcher too, apparently, she noted with a grimace upon seeing a small dark spot on her shirt just next to Martie's little mouth.

So now what? Sinking slowly down to sit on the couch, Lorelai sighed. Seriously, now what? Davy was playing, Martha was sleeping, and… and… And what?

"Okay then…" In Lorelai's mind, the madness of the past week had made everything seem so huge, so life-changing – this big, enormous thing that was about to happen. And now, she was starting to realize as she picked aimlessly at some lint on the arm of the couch, it was all very anticlimactic. There was no big fanfare, no sudden shift in the time-space continuum to mark the fact that she now had Davy and Martha. Nothing. It was actually pretty overwhelming, the lack of… well, lack of anything really. Which then made it underwhelming, not over-, didn't it, she wondered distractedly.

At a loss and feeling oddly empty, Lorelai did the only thing that came to mind. Staring impassively across the room as she slumped on the sofa, she gave Martha a half-hearted back rub and mumbled numbly into the otherwise quiet room, "Welcome home guys…"

**To be continued…**


	8. Chapter 8

**So. Um, who remembers this story? Anyone? Yeah, even I had to refresh my memory using all my old IAF files.**

**Anyway, for anyone who DOES remember this oldie and wants to continue along with the adventure, here's a refresher on the backstory. This story was started towards the end of Season 5 — after the pregnancy scare, but before the boat-stealing or proposal. So none of the super-duper fantasticness that was Seasons 6 and 7 ever happened, including April or the marriage to Asshat. Rory is hunky-dory, with Logan, and working for the summer at the paper in Stamford. Luke and Lorelai are hunky-dory as well. And then I threw them all into this epic and made things not-so hunky-dory. But for more on that, you might want to review past chapters.**

**I still can't promise regular or frequent updates to this, but just know that it's still out there nagging me sometimes. Along with **_**Kinofille**_**, who, for her nagging, was made to beta this part :) Thanks for the help, **_**Kino**_**.**

Luke dawdled at the diner as long as he could that night. As if the line of storms that passed through in the early evening wasn't enough to keep him from venturing outside, all of a sudden it was urgent that he reorganize the storeroom that very night, that he balance the books, that he mop the floor a second time on the off chance he missed some sort of hazardous spill the first time around.

Or, perhaps — perhaps — it was that he was feeling just a tad apprehensive about what awaited him at the house. But just perhaps…

When he finally did amble over to Lorelai's it was past eleven, so he was more than surprised to see, as he rounded the bend up to her driveway, that the house was still nearly completely lit up and that Lorelai was out on the porch. Lingering in the shadows, Luke could just make out Martha's tiny frame in Lorelai's arms. While he'd obviously seen Lorelai around the kids before, he surprised himself by finding that he was immediately struck by how natural she looked, just standing there, cradling Martha and whispering soothing words in her ear.

And for a moment, Luke was transported back to a scene — to a time — that he hadn't even witnessed in the first place. Lorelai, barefoot, in a pair of boxers stolen from him, a baggy t-shirt, and her hair swept up in a messy ponytail, looked far younger than her thirty-seven years, and in the soft yellow light of the porch, she could easily have been her sixteen year-old self, slowly rocking a young Rory back to sleep. It looked so _right_, though Luke couldn't even begin to imagine how difficult that life had been for Lorelai as a teenager; he wished he could retroactively help and make things easier for her.

But even knowing the child was Martha, and Lorelai thirty-seven years old, Luke was utterly mesmerized at the sight, and he crept closer, hoping to take in the scene further without disturbing the seemingly peaceful pair. But a small twig snapping beneath his foot, despite his attempts at stealth, was noise enough to catch Lorelai's attention. Her head jerked up, her eyes scanning the darkness of the lawn as she called out, "Luke?"

"Yeah," he replied, emerging from the shadows with a rather sheepish expression on his face. "Hey," he added, offering a tentative smile as he approached the porch. But as he neared Lorelai, he quickly began to realize that things were not quite as serene as they'd seemed from across the yard. He was definitely beginning to make out some rather anguished-sounding wails coming from Martha, and, getting closer, he could see that the baby's little face was bright red and her eyes wet with tears. Lorelai looked none too happy either, a fact confirmed by the anxious timbre in her voice as she raced across the porch to meet him. "Thank God you're here," she gushed, "She won't stop crying! I've tried everything. She was fine before," Lorelai explained hurriedly, her voice growing higher and her words coming faster the more agitated she got. "But the storms really freaked her out an now nothing is getting her calmed down, and I'm so fucking tired, and I just want this night to be over." She finished with a deflated sigh, her shoulders sagging even as she continued her futile efforts to soothe Martha.

Luke balked at the look Lorelai was giving him — that doe-eyed one, full of innocence and vulnerability that was in and of itself a plaintive plea of 'Luke, help. Please fix this.' But what could he do? He knew that look, and he relished being able to actually 'fix it' for her. This was where he was supposed to come running, tool box or thirty-thousand dollar checks in hand. But he knew as well as anyone that neither of those was likely to be much use in calming a fussy infant.

Feeling rather helpless, not to mention completely out of his element, Luke did the only thing he could think to do, placing his arm awkwardly around Lorelai's shoulders and pulling her to him with a gentle kiss to the top of her head. Hoping his meager actions would serve to calm Lorelai more successfully than she was calming Martha, he asked the only thing that came to mind. "What did you used to do for Rory?"

"Rory was an angel," Lorelai wailed, just barely louder than a particularly loud scream from Martha. "She always slept through the night. Half the time I thought she was literally dead from the Sudden Infant Syndrome thing because she was sleeping through the night so early. But even if she did wake up, all I had to do was hold her and that was enough. But it's not working with her," she cried, gesturing down to Martha. "I'm not Sookie," she stated in defeat. "_She_ knows I'm not Sookie, and _I_ know I'm not Sookie, but there's nothing I can do about that, sweetie, I'm so sorry," she whimpered, directing her final words to the baby. Facing Luke again, she continued, sounding ever more distressed. "And God, I'm just not Sookie! I'm not her mother! Not even just that — I'm physically not her mother! The poor kid keeps going for my boobs, and how do I explain to her that she's not gonna get anything out of there? And I don't even know how she knows they're even the same thing, because, seriously, compared to Sookie's, you practically have to send out a search party for these things. I tried a bottle, but she won't take it. She spits out the pacifier, and I don't know what else to do…" She trailed off, dramatically burying her face in the soft flannel of Luke's shoulder.

For his part, all Luke could do was continue stroking Lorelai's upper arm. Hell, he was overwhelmed just hearing the second-hand account of how things were going. Coupled with the persistent soundtrack of Martha's cries, it wasn't exactly making for a comfortable transition into the 'Davy and Martha' era. "Well, what did Sookie do for this, do you know?" he asked lamely after a moment. "Besides the, uh, you know," he cleared his throat awkwardly, stumbling over his words, "feeding… thing?"

Despite everything, Luke's obvious discomfort over the mere mention of breast-feeding was enough to elicit a weak smile of amusement from Lorelai.

Well, at least it was something, Luke allowed himself. But the smile proved to be only a temporary victory. It faded quickly as Lorelai shrugged helplessly, "I know she'd sit and swing on their porch swing with both of the kids, but we've got nothing like that here. The little automated swing is too different, I guess," she explained, frustrated, "because I tried that, and it's not what she wants. At this point, I'd drive to the freakin' school playground to use the swing set, but she'd just wake back up in the car on the way back home, and we'd be right here all over again." Lorelai finished weakly, sounding utterly exhausted and on the verge of tears herself as she shifted the still-howling Martha in her arms.

Luke, however, was suddenly feeling a little better about the situation. A porch swing he could do. "You have a porch," he offered, "I'll put in a swing." Who knew that tools and a little physical labor could actually be what helped quiet the kid down? Luke was actually quite pleased with himself; it'd give him something to do with himself that didn't directly involve the kids, and more than that, it would help out Lorelai and make him feel less the awkward, bumbling idiot of the kid-situation because he'd actually be doing something useful. Not that he was at all sure yet how involved he was expected to be in the whole debacle anyway…

But apparently, involvement on the swing-level, at least, was a good thing, for no sooner was the offer out of his mouth did Lorelai pull away from him, her eyes wide with delight. "Will you?" she cried gleefully. "Yay!" she giggled at Martha, "I always said this porch should have a swing anyway. But, oh. Luke…" Her voice faded out as she paused, her smile disappearing once again. "It's practically midnight. Even if you pull a Bob Vila first thing in the morning, it's not gonna do anything for right now." Martha echoed the statement with another appropriate wail.

Luke wracked his brain, trying valiantly to salvage the Luke-to-the-rescue feeling he'd been savoring and figure out some sort of ad-hoc swing stand-in.

"Rachel has a hammock," he blurted out a minute later.

The outburst was met, not unexpectedly with confusion on Lorelai's part. "And the top non-sequitur of the year award goes to…" she gestured to Luke jokingly. Rubbing Martha's back, Lorelai spat out a "What?" as her nose wrinkled in confusion.

"Rachel sent me a hammock," Luke clarified. "Not the stretch-it-between-two-trees kind, it's like a chair. Hangs from one spot. She sent it from Ecuador or Panama or something one time when she was off doing the picture thing. I dunno. I sure as hell never used it," he shrugged, "but it might work for her."

Lorelai let out a little shriek of relief. "Bless Rachel and her wandering-to-foreign-countries little heart," she sighed. "I'll try anything at this point. I'm so _tired_."

Luke shot a wary look at Martha, who was showing no signs of quieting despite Lorelai's fervent tried to shush and soothe her; he figured he'd better get moving and follow through on his word.

Only about fifteen minutes later, Luke was driving back, hammock, rope, and a ladder in the back of his truck. Thinking it over, he'd come to realize that he had absolutely no idea how sturdy any of the beams supporting the porch roof were, so simply typing the hammock to a tree branch looked like, at least in the short term, the safest option for the house, not to mention Lorelai and Martha.

Just another few minutes after arriving and he'd fastened the hammock to one of the large maples just in front of the house.

Lorelai, despite Luke's attesting that the hammock was secure and could support far more than just he combined weight of her and Martha, she insisted that he sit in it first to demonstrate its hardiness.

Of course, he should have known better than to allow himself to be duped like that. No sooner had he settled himself in the woven seat did Lorelai position herself directly in front of his knees. "So you say it can hold two, right?" she questioned only slightly dubiously.

"Yes," Luke replied, his single word laced with suspicion. Due suspicion, for the next thing he knew, there was a screaming, wriggling Martha being shoved into his arms. He protested immediately: "Lorelai, no. I can't…"

"Shh, you big wimp," Lorelai chided gently, "I'm coming too." And so as to not jostle Martha any more than necessary, she carefully eased herself down next to Luke, curling up tightly against him and entangling her bare legs with his. She reached for Martha, shifting the tiny child ever so slightly from Luke's awkward hold, and nestled her against her own chest where her body was pressed up against Luke's.

Once Luke was relieved of the sole responsibility of hanging onto Martha, needing no prompting, he took it upon himself to begin rhythmically pushing at the ground beneath his foot, causing the hammock to sway gently in the cool night breeze.

Between the slight swinging and Lorelai's constant soothing rubbing on her back, Martha quieted to mere whimpers within just a few moments. And not ten minutes later, the little girl finally succumbed to the exhaustion that she'd brought upon herself with her incessant crying.

"Oh my God," Lorelai breathed, her whispered sigh somewhere between relief and awe as she tilted her head to look down at Martha. "It worked. How much do I love Rachel and her super-duper magic hammock swing? That was absolutely amazing." And shifting to focus on Luke, Lorelai gazed up at him with wide eyes. "Thank you," she murmured sincerely, "Thank you."

Luke cheeks were tinged with just the faintest bit of pink as he scoffed in return, "I just had the damn thing; you knew what she needed."

"No Luke," Lorelai insisted, craning her neck and upper body just enough to not disturb Martha but still bring her closer to eye level with him. "Thank you," she repeated. "I mean, I know you're not thrilled about this whole situation. I don't want to force anything on you here." She shrugged, looking away, "You don't have to be doing stuff like this for them."

Luke's rebuttal began immediately, "Lorelai, it's not…" But it faded out just as quickly when it dawned on him that perhaps this was the time to clear the air a little, and that, perhaps his words should be a little more carefully thought out than a blunt contradiction of Lorelai's assumption. Falling silent, he let his gaze drift away from Lorelai as he focused instead on some random point among the softly moon-lit clouds.

So she thought that he didn't want anything to do with, well, _anything_. And maybe to some degree she was right — had she not been given custody, he wouldn't exactly have been first in line to take Davy and Martha in her place; he was hardly a 'kid' guy. But that wasn't the case — Lorelai did have them. And seeing her so upset, half-broken, fighting with Martha on the porch, practically crumbling under the weight of what she'd taken on after not even one full day, Luke wanted nothing more than to help her, regardless of what it took. He had to make her understand that, because, if he'd understood correctly, she didn't seem to quite get that yet. And as much as she may have tried to do everything on her own thus far, trying to convince herself — or everyone, for that matter — that if she did it on her own with Rory, she could do it again on her own with two more, tonight made it crystal clear to Luke that Lorelai was going to need some help here and there. And that she did actually want that help from him, even if she wouldn't put it in so many words.

"Look," Luke finally began again quietly. "I'm here. I have no clue what to do with or around kids, but I don't ever want you to think that I'm not gonna be here to help you," he assured her.

Lorelai remained silent. With her one hand still stroking Martha's back, she moved her free hand up behind Luke's head, massaging with her fingers and silently urging him to continue.

So he did. "I mean," he added diplomatically, "You've never had to deal with two at once before either. You may not do everything exactly right, and I'm sure as hell not gonna do stuff right, but I'm gonna help you when you need it." Gesturing down to Martha's tiny, slumbering form, he continued, "So far, the teamwork thing is working."

"Yeah, it is." Lorelai gave him a genuinely appreciative grin before tucking herself as tightly as she could in the crook of his arm

With Martha finally quiet, and Lorelai curled up against him, and some kind of understanding finally between the two of them, Luke had to chuckle at the scene from earlier. "How the hell was anyone sleeping through her before," he asked incredulously.

Lorelai smirked, explaining, "Well, Davy's upstairs, plus he's probably the most used to it out of all of us."

"But Rory's room is right there, windows open and everything," Luke pointed out.

"Hey," Lorelai laughed, "I told you, she slept like a corpse when she was a baby. Two decades changed nothing. When she's out, she's out."

Luke chuckled at that, still swinging their hammock slightly. Sobering a little, he spoke again, wondering aloud how the rest of Lorelai's day might have been. "So before the crying," he asked stiltedly, "How was everything?"

"Actually, pretty good," Lorelai replied, sounding half-surprised at her own words. "She just slept a lot, and Davy and I had a few delightful rounds of 'let's build towers of blocks and then knock them down.' And once Rory got home," she giggled, continuing, "She went nuts with him. She never really said anything, but I think she has that same parental grudge that all kids who never get a sibling or a pet have. I sure as hell had it," she added thoughtfully. "Anyway, Rory somehow got it in her head that now that Davy's here, he can be both. I just had this one on the couch with a bottle, and Rory was torturing him, just running circles from the living room to the front hallway, and he just chased her laughing the whole time. So then the pulls the reverse trick and scares the crap out of him by running right into him. And then," Lorelai laughed softly at the memory, "She goes completely out the door and the kid's just wandering in circles looking like 'Where the hell did the crazy lady go?'"

"Well, you were still there, right?" Luke interjected with a smirk, "He couldn't have been too concerned since he still had one crazy lady around."

Lorelai narrowed her eyes playfully, poking Luke in the ribs forcefully, "Hey now, be nice you."

He would have taken her attempt at a menacing tone seriously had her would-be threat not been wholly thwarted by a head-splitting yawn. "Okay, she's not crying," he stated, "We can't stay out here all night. Think she's okay to move?" he asked, nodding at Martha while Lorelai blinked, bleary-eyed.

"I think so," she replied, "She's been out for a while. And seriously, if I'm this tired just from dealing with her, she must be practically dead. She was the one doing all the screaming."

"So we should try and go upstairs," Luke ventured cautiously. "It's after midnight."

Lorelai apparently couldn't even muster up the energy to put together a verbal reply, instead just nodding in agreement as she carefully began to roll Martha over to Luke's chest. Once she disentangled herself from Luke and climbed out of the hammock, she reached for Martha, scooping her up from his arms and cradling her softly.

Luke followed, just behind the pair as they quietly crept up to Lorelai's room, making sure to not wake Davy. Watching Lorelai settle Martha into her bassinet, Luke had to muse, somewhat incredulously, over the past hour or so. So he hadn't known exactly what to expect from the first night, but he sure as hell hadn't been expecting to be hanging out in Rachel's old hammock with a baby on his chest.

But, surprisingly enough, he was willing to admit to himself as he climbed silently into bed next to Lorelai, what he'd gotten wasn't half bad.

~*~

Later that night, or early the next morning, depending on one's preference — Lorelai's was that, either way, no human should have to be awake at such a nour — Lorelai woke to the soft sounds of Martha whimpering again. Opening one eye to peer at her alarm clock, she sighed sleepily. 3:48. Super.

But as much as she didn't want to get up, she also didn't want Luke to be woken when he only had another forty minutes or so before he had to get up to get to the diner.

So she slid herself wearily from between the sheets, creeping over to Martha, who lay wriggling in her bassinette.

"Shh, shh, shh," Lorelai urged in hushed tones. "I'm comin', I'm comin'. You don't have to wake Luke up too. He's crankier than you when he doesn't get his sleep," she whispered down to Martha. "And we don't want that, now do we? No, we don't, kiddo, Lorelai giggled, reaching down to give Martha a little tickle under the chin, "No, we don't." With that, she scooped up the baby gently, cuddling carefully her to her chest. "Shhhhh," she whispered, ducking her face down to Martha's ear to soothe her.

With Martha securely in hand and already quieting a little, Lorelai tiptoed around the end of the bed and snatched up the conveniently placed diaper bag on the floor in an effort to make it out without bothering either of the males in the room.

She was successful in keeping Luke asleep; he kept snoring away. But just as Lorelai was about to duck out into the hallway with Martha, she heard a soft little voice from behind her.

"Go too?" Davy piped up, rubbing one eye sleepily as he clutched the edge of his crib with the other. And stretching his arms out in Lorelai's direction, he repeated, "Go?"

Lorelai balked in the doorway; she'd been hoping that Davy would just sleep through the quick excursion downstairs, and that she could just change Martha, give her a bottle for a bit, and then get back upstairs to catch another few hours of sleep. But the longer she hovered, weighing her decision, the more distressed Davy began to look. He stomped his little feet a few times with his lower lip trembling as he reached insistently in Lorelai's direction.

"Oh, fine," Lorelai whispered, giving in and heading hastily back across the room. She didn't want to risk Davy breaking out into a full-blown temper tantrum with Luke still sleeping. And the kid's little face was already verging on the red-cheeked, wrinkled nose look that always immediately preceded full-blown wailing. "Come on." She shifted Martha to her left arm, allowing Davy, with a little boost, to cling to her right side. With a sidelong glace at the still-sleeping Luke and a yawn, Lorelai exited the room and headed downstairs.

Once those first rumblings of sibling rivalry and jealousy had waned and he was convinced of the fact that Martha wasn't getting any special treatment that he wasn't, Davy actually remained subdued enough to sit still while Lorelai dealt with Martha's diaper. But once she'd changed his as well, he was fully awake and raring to go. She'd barely managed to fasten his diaper and rearrange his clothes before he's pulled himself to his feet and had toddled over to all his toys.

Martha, on the other hand, had cooperated nicely, and once her diaper was changed, was just fine with another round of sleeping. The bottle Lorelai had planned on giving her wasn't even necessary; as soon as she was placed in her little bouncy-seat, she was out like a light in no time. Davy, however, was in full-on up-'n'-at-'em mode, tossing toys around and scampering away from Lorelai at every chance.

After fifteen minutes or so of chasing Davy around and trying in vain to calm him down to the point where he might go back to sleep, Lorelai resigned herself to the fact that he was up for the day. Carefully relocating Martha's seat to the kitchen table, she managed to coax Davy into following her with the promise of Cheerios. Once Lorelai managed to wrestle him into a highchair, with a pile of cereal on the tray for him to play with, she rested her head sleepily on her forearm. With a yawn, she sighed. It was only the first day…

~*~

That was exactly the position Luke found Lorelai in twenty minutes later, albeit with a few Cheerios adorning her fanned-out hair. Davy just grinned at him as he entered the kitchen, and tossed another Cheerio onto the floor for good measure.

Luke wasn't quite sure what to make of the scene — was laughing at Lorelai inappropriate considering her falling asleep with the two kids there was probably not in their best interest? In any case, he allowed himself a slight chuckle as he reached to gently shake Lorelai's shoulder. He had to get out of there, and the more he weighed the decision, leaving Martha and Davy supervised only by a dead-to-the-world Lorelai and Rory — whose sleeping talents he'd just been informed of the night before — wasn't the best idea in the world. Adding a little more force to his shake, he whispered in Lorelai's ear, "Hey."

Lorelai's response was a classic "Mmph?" of confusion as she lifted her head ever so slightly off the table. "Huh?"

"Those the latest accessory?" Luke raised a skeptical eyebrow, gesturing to the stray Cheerios that had fallen from Lorelai's hair upon her movement.

A sleepy blink followed as Lorelai finally sat up straight, sending a small cascade of the oat-y 'O's to the floor. "Huh?" she mumbled again, looking ever more befuddled as she took in the scattered cereal and the two small children next to her. "Oh, no…" It eventually dawned on her. "Davy, you were supposed to eat those," she chastised the little boy, who just wriggled happily in his high chair in reply. Immediately stooping down to collect the Cheerios from the floor, Lorelai looked up over her shoulder sheepishly, offering Luke a weak apology, "Sorry."

"Hey, I don't care," Luke lifted his hands in surrender immediately. "They look good on you," he joked, before adding more warily, "I just thought —"

Obviously sensing his hesitation, Lorelai snapped her head up and eyed him curiously. "What?"

"Well," Luke posed his question carefully, not sure if he was treading on dangerous ground offering kid-rearing advice, "Are you supposed to, I don't know, be _sleeping_, when you're watching kids like that?"

His caution was apparently unwarranted, for Lorelai shrugged guiltily even as she offered a weak excuse, "I was just resting my eyes…" Pulling herself to her feet and heading in the direction of the garbage to toss the floor-tainted Cheerios, she let out a soft snort before turning back to Luke. "But I'll tell you one thing," she warned, shaking her finger pointedly in Luke's, and then Davy's, direction, "If he's going to be waking up every time she does, it's totally not going to work with them in the same room."

Luke waited expectantly, not one hundred percent sure of where Lorelai was going with that statement. What was the other option, stick the kid in a closet?

"I'll give it this weekend," Lorelai vowed as she continued, "Otherwise Rory's getting a roommate."

"Uh huh," Luke replied as he readied himself to leave for the diner.

As he gathered his hat and keys, Lorelai crept closer to Luke, approaching him with wide eyes and a sugary-sweet tone, "You're up this time almost every day, right?"

Luke took a pointed step back and eyed her warily. "Yes," he replied tersely, knowing he was probably just a breath away from getting talked in to something he most certainly didn't want to get talked in to. When Lorelai fluttered her eyelashes and opened her mouth to make her next advance, he cut her off before she was even able to utter a sound. "To go to work," Luke made clear. "And nothing else."

"But…" Lorelai spluttered in protest, gesturing behind her to the kids.

Luke did his best to glare menacingly.

"You're up anyway!" Lorelai whined in return. "If we move Davy," she then pointed out, slightly more diplomatically, "You'd just have to change Martha and put her back to sleep!"

At the word 'change,' Luke grimaced. Not a chance. "I don't do diapers," he declared.

"You _could_ do diapers," came the sing-song retort.

"I don't do diapers," Luke repeated, his voice never wavering from a steadfast monotone. When Lorelai just grinned, batting her eyelashes once more, Luke protested further. "And even if I did, she's a _girl_," he twisted his face in discomfort as he unnecessarily reminded Lorelai of Martha's gender. "That's weird."

Lorelai shrugged. "As am I," was her initial reply. Her expression rapidly evolved into a wicked grin as she continued, lascivious tones evident in her voice, "No problems there…"

Rolling his eyes, Luke sent her a withering glare in response. "You know what I mean."

"Luke, come on," Lorelai wailed, "It's not like you're some sketchy guy with candy and pictures of lost puppies in a van at the playground. The only sketchiness involved is what's in the actual diaper."

"I don't…" Luke balked. He really didn't have much of an argument. It's not like he was jumping at the chance to change Davy in order to save Lorelai the weirdness of having to deal with a little boy.

Squatting down so that her face was level with Martha's, Lorelai batted her eyes dramatically. "Pretty please?" she begged, gesturing to the sleeping baby, "Look at this little face, you can't say no to her. Hell, look at _my_ face," Lorelai added with a grimace as she stood up straight once more and gestured to her cheek. "Can you say Cheerio imprints? You don't want to see me like that every day, right? 'Cause I'm not a fan of waking up face down in a pile of cereal. You think I'm not going to turn into an extra from Night of the Living Dead if it's only ever me waking up for diaper duty?" As she spoke Lorelai inched towards Luke. Reaching him, she began running her hands over his chest coyly, delivering her last plea. "You're up anyway, and she went right back to sleep, I swear."

With Lorelai's nails scraping gently over the worn fabric of his flannel shirt, Luke could feel his resolve weakening. He really didn't feel comfortable with the diaper thing, but he also wasn't comfortable with letting Lorelai run herself ragged while he just stood by and watched it happen. "I guess…" he eventually muttered, hoping he wasn't getting himself in over his head.

Lorelai's eyes immediately brightened, despite the dark circles beneath. "Believe me," she promised happily, "It'll pay off for you if I have a little extra energy sometimes." She finished with an awkward wink as she let one hand trail downward from its previous resting place on Luke's chest.

As much as he may have agreed with her comment — or at least the insinuation, Luke's cheeks reddened and he swatted her hand away in deference to the small children in the room. He took a step back from her and stammered, "Oh, uh, and you still want me to look at porch swings, or you think the hammock thing is good enough?"

Lorelai shrugged as she bent down to collect stray Cheerios on the floor. "Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. That thing saved me last night," she said, straightening back up with a look of warning, "do not even think about touching it."

"Okay," Luke said, nodding. He lingered in the kitchen as Lorelai began rummaging in for a suitable breakfast for Davy; he had to get to work, but was reluctant to leave Lorelai after how the previous day had gone for her. Killing time, and though he knew the likely answer, after a moment he inquired, "You working today?"

"Not really," Lorelai replied, snapping the top of a banana. "Michel's been working with the kitchen guys to arrange to get resumes to, you know…" Her voice trailed off, the uncomfortable words not actually necessary. "I'll call him about that, and the lawyers about the memorial stuff… But yeah, otherwise, just me and them getting used to each other until Friday," she gestured to the kids behind her sheepishly. "We're not having any events again until next week, so I don't really have that much to deal with there yet."

"Right, right," Luke replied. He hoped the adjustment period would be enough, for her sake, to let Lorelai figure Martha out and avoid repeats of the previous night.

After a pensive frown, Lorelai paused mid-peel with the banana. "We could come in for lunch," she offered.

"Oh, uh," Luke stumbled over his words, caught off guard by the visual Lorelai's words had suddenly put into his head. Out and about with Sookie's kids, having lunch at the diner… It was Lorelai's — and his — normal life. And with Martha and Davy a part of it, it would just make it that much more real that Sookie and Jackson weren't out of town and coming back to pick up the kids, so everything could go back to the 'old' normal. But this was the 'new' normal, wasn't it. "Uh, okay," he eventually managed to agree.

Lorelai grinned wickedly in his direction as she began mashing Davy's banana. "And don't forget, tonight, diaper lessons, mister."

Luke rolled his eyes. "Goody," he added facetiously. And suddenly wary of getting roped into anymore less than pleasant tasks involving bodily functions, he began to make his way to the door.

"Wait!" Lorelai called, scampering after him. Half expecting another diaper reminder, Luke paused reluctantly in the foyer, only to find himself pleasantly surprised by the press of Lorelai's lips to his. He leaned into her, pulling away a moment later with a smile.

Lorelai smirked back at him and pecked him quickly on the cheek. "Bye."

~*~

Lorelai and the kids did end up at the diner that day for lunch. It was a rather uneventful outing, save for various townsfolk — namely Miss Patty and East Side Tillie — oohing and aahing over the adorable little family every time Luke neared the table at which Lorelai, Martha, and Davy were situated. That, of course, made Luke exceedingly uncomfortable, and not simply because he was never one to accept attention willingly. At each mention of family, he grew more and more anxious, not knowing if he truly fit the bill, in Lorelai's mind, as a member in the ad-hoc 'family' she had accrued.

Nonetheless, he relented later that night, allowing the diapering lesson to proceed as had been planned.

Dealing with Martha in that manner wasn't exactly his favorite pastime, but after that, each morning, he faithfully got up five minutes earlier than he normally would have, changed the little girl and coaxed her back to sleep with a bottle so Lorelai could have that extra hour or so of sleep.

Things didn't even change all that much when Lorelai went back to work full-time at the Inn. Luke stuck to the same morning routine, and once awake, Lorelai dragged both kids to the Dragonfly, Martha generally napping or resting in the stomach pouch thing, and Davy either amusing himself in a playpen or toddling after Lorelai, just as Rory had done so many years ago at the Independence.

As for later in the day, catching up after the impromptu hiatus at the Inn left Lorelai generally working long hours — hours too long to keep two small kids tagging along. Rory graciously offered her services as a live-in babysitter some nights, picking up the two little ones after she returned from Stamford and taking them home. But, in all fairness to the twenty year-old with a life and a boyfriend of her own, Lorelai insisted that she not have to do that every day. The unspoken implication of that insistence, however, was that Luke would be the one to pick up the slack as Lorelai toiled away in her office at the Dragonfly. She'd never asked him to, per se, but on those Rory-free days, Luke knew it went without saying that around 6, it was up to him to bring Lorelai dinner and to retrieve Martha and Davy from her office, bringing them back home.

_Home_.

To Lorelai's home.

Their home.

But was it really _his_ — Luke's — home too? Hell, at that point where his 'home' really was was anyone's guess. Sure, there had been vague promises of him 'helping' Lorelai out, and he'd been compliant with her request to deal with the whole morning diaper thing, but even that right there, the diaper thing, implied that he'd always be there at the Crap Shack to deal with that sort of thing. But there had yet to be any discussion of any official 'moving in.' Was he really living with Lorelai full-time now? Had he somehow missed the taking of that step in their relationship? And if it was the case, was it really because that's how things should have been working out, or was it more out of necessity and ease given their new family situation? Or Lorelai's family situation? Who the hell was even counted as 'in' when it came to whatever her family was anymore? Was he in there somewhere? If Lorelai was struggling any way, yes, of course he wanted to help out. But that didn't mean he could just snap his fingers and suddenly be comfortable with all things 'baby' and the Super-Dad role… If that's even what Lorelai wanted. Was it?

Just more of the many questions nagging at Luke that he simply didn't have the heart to bring up with Lorelai when she trudged in tiredly at the end of one of her long days.

The same nagging questions that were keeping Luke up, tossing restlessly all night after Lorelai was long since dead-to-the-world beside him in her — their? — bed.

**To be continued…**


End file.
